


Eternity Was In Our Eyes

by danceinmystorm



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: And agreed to marry if they were both single at 28, Ben is a lawyer, But one of them isn't single, F/M, My Best Friend's Wedding, Rey and Ben were high school sweethearts, Rey is an actress, Rey turns 28, Slow Burn, With A Twist, reylo is endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 51,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22549396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceinmystorm/pseuds/danceinmystorm
Summary: “I’ll wait for you,” Ben said seriously, taking her hands in his. “I get it, we’ll be in different places for a long time and we’ll have our separate lives, but you’re the one I want. Even if we’re old and 28, I’ll drop everything to marry you.”“Yeah right,” Rey laughed. “I can’t imagine you not already married to some beautiful woman by that time. But okay, if you’re going to wait for me.” She was joking but it looked as though Ben wasn’t.“If we’re both single at 28, let’s get married.”This was a joke, right?
Relationships: Bazine Netal/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 153
Kudos: 386
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp





	1. September 2019

_Eternity was in our lips and eyes,_

_Bliss in our brows’ bent, none our parts so poor_

_But was a race of heaven. They are so still,_

_Or thou, the greatest soldier of the world,_

_Art turned the greatest liar._

_\- Antony and Cleopatra, Act 1, Scene 3, William Shakespeare_

Rey was tired, sweaty, covered in thick makeup and fake cuts and bruises all over her body and face. The clothes she was wearing were ratty, like the ones she grew up in at the foster home in New York City. Except these clothes were _made_ to look ratty. They were custom clothes made to look as if she was just in a fight with someone and barely won.

She was in the middle of filming _The Resistance_ in Prague. Cameras and building exteriors blown to bits were around her, cars that were intentionally flipped over, and deliberate fires being extinguished could still be heard in the background. It was the third day of shooting this sequence, the 75th day of filming the production, and today was Rey Niima’s 28th birthday.

The surrounding did not match the celebration going on. A big sheet cake was wheeled out, big bunches of balloons attached to the tray, and clapping and singing just drowned out the sound of the last fires extinguishing. Rey covered her gross face with her gross hands to hide her embarrassment. She knew that people would know it was her birthday, it’s kind of peoples’ jobs here on set to know the events and to keep the production lighthearted in the midst of the political drama they were filming.

Rey didn’t expect such a big production for her birthday especially when they were in the midst of filing such a pivotal sequence of the movie. Her character, Kira Erso, would be caught in the middle of a gun fight between the Siths and the Jedis, and she would be the one to shoot the final shot to end it all, having figured out who the bad guy really was. This scene was scheduled to take two straight weeks of filming, involving explosives and stunts and more extras. It was a sequence that would take place in different settings on the same street, in offices, in alleys, on the street, on the rooftop, and they needed to get the sequence perfect.

So when a colorful sheet cake was rolled out, Rey was not prepared but she was grateful nonetheless. The cast and crew sang a loud Happy Birthday to their heroine, laughing and cheering as she turned another year older. Rey had never had such a large birthday celebration. They were always small celebrations, with a cupcake or one year as a senior in high school, the Organa/Solo family took her out to a nice dinner complete with a nice cake. The birthday hoopla was new but not unwelcome, especially since she’d have to get used to all the attention.

She’d starred in a few Broadway shows already, nothing headlining, but her big break was this high budget, high profile movie. _The Resistance_ was Christopher Nolan’s next baby and if it was like any of his other movies, it’d be a hit and would catapult her to stardom. A no-name, a no-one born in London, ended up Brooklyn with no record of parents, shuffled between foster families until she was 16 and was only able to attend a prestigious boarding school due to a generous donation by the mayor at the time, which paved her way to attend NYU for acting and nab background parts in off-Broadway productions. Eventually, with persistent auditioning and bartending between auditions, she had main ensemble parts that garnered her more attention. Her stint as Vivienne Kensington on _Legally Blonde the Musical_ caught the attention of casting directors working for Christopher Nolan. She auditioned, she went back to her bartending job when _Legally Blonde_ ended, caught more auditions, and waited for months until she was offered a role in _The Resistance._

Suddenly, Rey had a schedule, a sizable bank account, able to move into a decent apartment _still in Brooklyn_ , and an assistant that kept track of her soon busy schedule. Her bartending job was no more as she had physical training for three months before shooting would begin. There were some fittings, some chemistry reads between her co-stars, some PR training, but mostly she lived in the gym and only saw her trainer Jyn. Her life became preparing for this movie that would change her life.

The 75th day of production ended with Rey’s birthday celebration, allowing everyone to enjoy some cake on set and then a dinner party that took over an entire restaurant in Prague. Everyone on set that day as well as some of Rey’s costars that weren’t filming that day showed up to the fancy restaurant closed off to the public.

Though it was Rey’s party, she stayed in the background, simply listening to other peoples’ conversations around her than being the center of attention. She’d gotten know her costars well enough in friendly settings but as the alcohol flowed around the restaurant, it seemed that everyone got a bit looser.

“This is a dream,” Finn Storm was saying, waving around his glass of champagne. “I never thought I’d be in a movie. A Nolan movie! In Prague! We were in Australia just a month ago! Are we going to wake up from this dream?”

“I hope not,” Rey smiled, taking a drink of her own champagne. “I don’t want to go back to bartending if I can help it.”

“You would _never_ go back to that,” Paige Tico, eyes a bit glossy but _very_ happy, said. “You’re too beautiful for that. Your career is going to explode, honey. So many movie deals, probably some awards for this movie, you’ll never be the same again. You won’t be able to go to the grocery store without paparazzi.”

Rey felt nervous all of a sudden. Maybe it was the alcohol causing her to feel a bit red in the face or maybe the fact that she’d just been told straight up how different her life would be. She wanted to act, to be a name that people would recognize right away. All she ever wanted was to play characters to get a chance to be a different person, even if it were just for movies that lasted two hours. But she wasn’t sure if she was ready to let this anonymity go.

_What did I get myself into?_

Instead of spiraling into her thoughts, Rey downed her champagne and asked for another.

* * *

They were in Rey’s hotel suite now, a few hours after the party ended. Finn, Paige, a few crew members around the same age, and Rey sat in the living room area of her suite, all nursing bottles of wine and for Rey, some whiskey.

She’d lost count of how many drinks she’d had and frankly, she didn’t care. _It was her birthday_. She’d never let loose like this before in her life, always choosing to be in control, but if she wasn’t going to party in _Prague_ , while filming a $100 million movie, then where would she?

It took almost half a bottle of Prague’s finest whiskey and a question from Finn that started the whole debacle.

“What’s still on your bucket list, Rey? You’re 28 now. Was there something you wanted to accomplish by this age and haven’t?”

That was the question. And with that question, Rey’s thoughts went back ten years prior to her senior prom. She’d made a promise with someone. A silly promise, one that she never thought they’d go through with. Ever. Cause it was silly then and silly now.

“I wanted to be married by 28,” Rey started giggling. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I thought 28 was _old_ back then."

“I wanted to be married with at least three kids by now,” Paige said, pointing her bottle of beer at Rey. She was currently lounging on an entire love seat, with definitely no plans to move. “I’m 32. I can’t even take care of myself yet.”

Everyone in the room laughed, Rey more so, thinking about this promise she made ten years ago. No one had asked what it was, but Rey took it upon herself to tell everyone. Sitting up slowly, she recounted the story, of how she and Ben Solo promised to get married when they were both 28 if they weren’t married yet.


	2. Prom 2009

_10 years ago_

_May 2009_

It probably wasn’t normal to have your date’s mom pick you up from your dorm room to take you to meet her son, your date, at the designated meeting spot for pictures. Normally it’d be your own parent to do that but since Rey didn’t have her legal parents nor a foster parent who cared enough to do this, Leia Organa-Solo offered.

Rey was dressed in a black dress, sleeveless, with a high neckline. She paired this outfit with long black gloves and her hair up. She was going for a Holly Golightly look, from her favorite movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s. She’d found the dress at a vintage store near her boarding school, quite a difference from the original Givenchy, managed to get the gloves on sale at some magician shop in Queens, and simple black heels from Goodwill.

Leia almost squealed in excitement when Rey walked out of her dorm building and Leia’s car waiting outside. They drove over to a local garden, open to patrons, where apparently Leia and Han had their first official date.

Leia and Rey met the Solo boys in the middle of the garden ‘near the fountain thing,’ Han had said through text. Ben, dressed in nothing but the best suit his politician mother and pilot father could afford, beamed in excitement. On the other hand, Rey was unable to breathe.

_Wow,_ she was thinking. _He’s…beautiful_.

Before Ben and Rey could do the awkward prom pictures, Leia handed Rey a square velvet box. When Rey opened it, she saw the most beautiful strand of pearls. “Like Holly’s,” Leia said, clasping the necklace around Rey’s neck. “Just a bit more subtle.”

The awkward prom pictures were taken and eventually Ben and Rey were at the fancy ballroom that their boarding school always booked for their lavish proms. It was like attending a cotillion more than a high school prom, with all of the proper girls and guys on their best behaviors since the school’s staff and administrators were also in attendance. Many “important” parents attended as well, though the school’s most famous parents denied the offer so their son and his date could have a night without their wandering eyes.

Ben and Rey spent the whole night dancing, wildly and slowly, holding hands and spinning around, laughing uncontrollably and resting heads on shoulders. They barely left the dance floor, choosing to spend as much time goofing around than sitting and being ”proper.” The only times they were separated had been when they’d gone something to drink, go to the bathroom, or when Ben was announced Prom King while the most popular senior, Sebastienne Netal, won Prom Queen.

Rey controlled her laughter as Ben was crowned king and had to dance with his queen in the middle of the dancefloor, just them two, to the slowest song known to man. Once the dance was over, Ben couldn’t get away from Sebastienne quick enough, and walked back to Rey immediately.

Ben was pointing a finger at her, warning her to _not_ make a big deal out of the hat that was perched on his head. Eventually Rey couldn’t control her laughter and Ben followed suit as he pulled her back on the dancefloor to enjoy the last remaining hour of their prom.

A dance song transitioned into a slower tune and Rey and Ben assumed the position of a slow dance as _Can’t Help Falling in Love_ started playing.

“Elvis Presley?” Rey questioned, lifting her head from Ben’s chest to look up at the speakers.

“Oh hush,” Ben gently urged Rey’s head back down to his chest. “This school is over a hundred years old. This is basically modern music.”

Rey smiled and snuggled back into her date. At 18, Ben was well over 6 feet tall. He was also broad, probably from his time keeping in shape with his dad, and finally grew into some of the features he’d been made fun of as a middle schooler. He inherited his mother’s gorgeous hair as well, which was nicely styled to _just_ hide his ears.

Rey wasn’t short by any means but even with her heels, she felt dwarfed by Ben’s size. She didn’t mind though. She felt comfortable, protected, and warm. Especially with his arms wrapped around her like this.

“I can’t believe we’re graduating soon,” Rey said.

“I know,” Ben mumbled into her hair. “We’re getting old.”

“Old would be like…almost thirty, ugh,” she replied. “I can’t see myself at 30. Probably married with kids by then. That’s scary to think about.”

“Married with kids before 30? My parents didn’t settle down until they were in their _late_ thirties,” Ben said. “Being relatively young when your kids are growing up is probably not a bad idea though. Not that my dad can’t hang but he can’t shoot the ball around like he used to.”

Rey smacked Ben’s chest. “Don’t talk about your dad that way.”

Ben merely continued to nuzzle his cheek on the top of Rey’s head as they slowly swayed back and forth. The song transitioned into a pop beat, making Rey and Ben stop and look at each other.

They stared for a moment, like time standing still, only the two of them in the world. Rey was nervous for some reason. There was an unsettled feeling in her stomach, like butterflies were just born and learning to flap their wings. She blinked and blinked and blinked, waiting for Ben to make a move _, any move_ , to end the silence.

A couple bumping into them ended their moment and the two laughed nervously as they walked off the dancefloor. Ben held Rey’s hand in his and wandered out of the ballroom, towards a door leading to a balcony, and they settled there under the night sky and warm breeze.

The music from the ballroom was just faint in the background, the sounds of New York traffic on a Saturday filling the silence between them. Rey saw that Ben seemed nervous, he’s never nervous, always sure of himself, so this was a strange sight. When he turned his head to look at her, she couldn’t recognize the look in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” she asked him, touching his arm.

He leaned into her. “I’m just…scared.”

“About what?”

“Us,” he sighed. “What’s going to happen to us? I mean, I’m going to Cambridge, Rey. I won’t get to see you on a daily basis. And we’re both going to be on different schedules with you here in New York and me in England, and who knows if our school breaks will coincide, I just—”

Rey gently took Ben’s head in her hands and looked into his eyes. “Hey, let’s not worry about that right now. Do you really think that we’ll just fall out of touch? An ocean can’t keep us apart. And it’s only for undergrad, who knows where we’ll be after four years? We could be in the same place again. Maybe we’ll be apart still, who knows. But all I know is that no matter what, it’s you and me.”

Ben took a deep breath and laid his forehead against Rey’s. Their eyes were closed as their breaths mingled, breathing each other in and holding each other tight.

“I know you said that we shouldn’t start a relationship this close to us separating but Rey, I want to call you mine,” Ben said breathily, his hand moving up to behind Rey’s neck. “Please. I’ve loved you for so long. If an ocean won’t keep us apart, why can’t I call you mine?”

Rey grasped his hand behind her neck and threaded her fingers between his. “If I’m going to call you mine, I don’t want it just for the next four months before we part ways. I want it to be when I can wake up to you everyday. We’re not there yet. But we will be. We’ll find our way back to each other. But in the meantime, we need to live our lives.”

He placed a kiss to the back of her hand. “So, like be with other people?”

A tinge of sadness reflected on Rey’s face for a second. Breaking eye contact with Ben, she said, “I don’t think it would be fair to ask each other to wait and miss out on different opportunities. Whether it’s experiences or people…I think we need to make the best of our lives.”

“I’ll wait for you,” Ben said seriously, taking her hands in his. “I get it, we’ll be in different places for a long time and we’ll have our separate lives, but you’re the one I want. Even if we’re old and 28, I’ll drop everything to marry you.”

“Yeah right,” Rey laughed. “I can’t imagine you not already married to some beautiful woman by that time. But _okay_ , if you’re going to wait for me.” She was joking but it looked as though Ben wasn’t.

“If we’re both single at 28, let’s get married.”

_This was a joke, right?_

He proposed the idea. He was ironically proposing the time when hypothetically, they’d propose to each other to get married. Rey searched his eyes for any sort of bluff or insecurity in his words but she found none.

“You’re serious…”

“More than anything. I understand why you don’t want to make it official between us right now. I understand completely. But I _know_ that we will end up together, I just know it. Hell, even my parents know it. We give ourselves ten years to figure our lives out, while still being in each other’s lives, and then we’ll meet again.”

Rey found herself nodding her head in the midst of her tears. Ben pressed a soft kiss to her lips as he cradled her head. “So we’ll get married in 2020 if we’re both single,” she said through her sniffles by smiling nonetheless.

“2020, then,” Ben smiled, his dimple appearing on his cheek. “I’ll wait for you.”


	3. September 2019 Part II

_Present Day…er…Night_

_September 2019_

“Don’t do it!”

“Yes, do it!”

“She’s gonna regret this in the morning, you know it.”

“Well she can’t do anything about it once she does it, and she has to tell him eventually. She _is_ 28 now!”

“This isn’t just random dude, this is _Ben Solo_ , the senator’s son! Why didn’t she say anything about being connected to that family?”

“Cause she was making it on her own and obviously didn’t need their influence. You know, there could be ramifications for this later on, when she’s famous. They’re gonna call them Reylo, I can see it now.”

“Oh my god, that’s so cute!”

“Guys, shut up! I’m calling him right now. If he has the same number…”

The phone up to Rey’s ear was ringing. The screen said _Ben Solo_ , cause of course she still had his phone number. They hadn’t talked in over six years, ever since a particularly difficult winter break they spent together, but she couldn’t delete his number.

She’d say that she never deletes stuff from her phone. Every time she’s gotten a new iPhone, all her data went with it, so she never had to actively _add_ his number back to her phone but at the rare times the name pops up, she doesn’t _actively delete_ it either.

Rey was running on adrenaline, and whiskey, and each ring from the phone only fed her more. She was anxious to do this but _had_ to.

“I have to do this,” she said to herself, not to her audience, who were very attuned to what was going on. It took an hour of coaxing her to even dial this number and now it was _ringing._

Rey jumped when the generic voicemail message recited Ben’s number back to her. She used to remember that number by heart and she found herself muttering the last four numbers with the robot, “…2187…”

Before she knew it the phone beeped, indicating that it was time for her to leave her message. Her eyes bulged, like they were about to pop out of her head, and Jessika was motioning for her to start talking on the phone. The audience wasn’t helping with their drunken giggling as Rey gathered her words.

_I really should’ve thought about what I was going to say…_

“Ben, hi,” Rey started. She slapped herself in the face a bit too hard. Finn was trying to take her hand off her face when she continued to talk. “Uh…it’s me. Rey. Niima. In case you know other…Reys…”

Rey could just see her friends rolling her eyes even as she had her eyes closed from embarrassment. Grimacing, she continued. “I just…wanted to tell you that…it’s my 28th birthday. I don’t know if you remembered my birthday at all but…yeah, it’s today. Happy Birthday to me.”

” _Keep going_ ,” Finn whispered. “ _The promise_.”

“Uh…so 28…I’m 28…and you turned 28 like, six months ago. Not that I don’t remember your birthday, you know, April 11th, or something like that,” Rey held the phone away from her and mouthed a huge _oh my god_ at her own drunken talk. _Lord help me, just hang up the phone._

_But of course, Drunk Rey couldn’t just do that._

“And in high school, our senior prom actually, we had an agreement. Well not actually an agreement, but like a promise? Yeah, a promise. That if we were both single, _or solo, ya know_ , that we’d get married. Do you remember that? I hope you do cause this would be so embarrassing if you don’t. Not that this isn’t already embarrassing. This is _so_ embarrassing. I’m drunk, if you can’t tell. I’m on set filming in Prague, Ben. _Prague._ My dreams came true. I’m gonna be in a movie and I’ll be on posters and you’ll see, Ben. I made it. I was on Broadway for a while but millions of people are gonna see _this_ movie. I hope you see it too. You always liked these kinds of movies. It really makes you think.”

“Wrap it up, wrap it up,” her audience was saying frantically. She seems to have gotten off the rails.

“So…uh…yeah, I’m 28 now and you’re 28, and I don’t know if you’re single cause I don’t keep up with…that…but I know I’m single. And uh…it would be really nice to hear from you again. Even if you don’t want to marry me anymore, I just…thought…I’d remind you of what we said during prom…cause, I remember it so clearly. I wish I just made you mine that night, maybe we wouldn’t be so far away from each other. I don’t even know if I remember your voice anymore…definitely not right now cause I’m _so drunk_. Bur it’s my birthday so I think it’s okay. So yeah…call me back, if you want? Please? I mean, you don’t have to. But it’d be nice if you did. Okay, bye.”

Rey hung up and tossed her phone as if it were a grenade, screaming at the same time. She clasped her hands over her mouth, muffling a scream but also stopping the contents of her stomach from rushing back up.

* * *

*beep*

*beep*

*beep*

“I don’t know who’s alarm that is but turn. it. off.”

Finn scrambled up from his sleep and turns off the alarm he had set for 6:00 AM. For some unknown reason. “Sorry guys, I meant to work out this morning. That’s not gonna happen.”

Rey heard Finn flop back down from the couch where he ended up sleeping. The sun was barely up. The party seemed to have ended with everyone passing out in Rey’s hotel suite. They all managed to get comfortable since the suite was like an entire New York penthouse. Rey, even in her drunken state, was able to wash her face and brush her teeth before passing out in her bed.

The room was spinning. Rey never felt like this before. She didn’t know it was possible to move so fast when you’re hungover but she managed to rush over to her toilet to throw up last night’s remnants.

She must’ve fallen asleep in the bathroom because when she woke up for the second time that morning, the sun was coming in through the windows and a few of her friends were gathered around the doorway.

“Who died?” Rey groaned, tasting the sour tang in her mouth. She got up to rinse out her mouth and brush her teeth. She felt better already after throwing up the poison.

As Rey brushed her teeth, Jessika approached her slowly with her phone in her hand. “Rey, sweetie,” Jessika said softly. “We have something to show you.”

Rey narrowed her eyes. “What? Did Nolan fire me?”

“No, no, no,” Finn and Jessika said in unison.

“Nothing like that.”

“Of course not.”

“Then anything else, I can deal with,” Rey laughed. She spat out her toothpaste and washed out her mouth. “What happened?”

Jessika glanced at Finn, who nodded, before handing her phone to Rey. It was loaded on a news site with the title not beating around the bush.

_Leia Organa’s Son Engaged to Delphi Kloda’s Daughter_

_The senator’s son, Benjamin Organa Solo, popped the question to the real estate tycoon’s youngest daughter Bazine Netal. The engagement occurred just last night and our sources say that the couple has only been dating six months but are ready to start a family together. Is that alluding to a pregnancy? Will wedding bells ring soon to hide a baby bump? Regardless, this couple is beautiful together and I’m sure this wedding will be the biggest wedding New York has seen in years!_

There was a sound. Rey looked up from the phone, not realizing she was shaking. She recognized that tone. It was her own ringtone, sounding faintly in the background. Finn went over to Rey’s nightstand where Rey responsibly plugged her phone in to charge before she passed out. Also a habit.

Finn glanced at the name flashing on the ringing phone. “It says Ben Solo. And he’s trying to Facetime.”


	4. September 2019 Part III

Rey could’ve taken the time to look more presentable. Brushed her hair, washed her face, changed her top at least. Then called him back. But no, she, in her hungover haze, walked over to her phone, her phone case covered in daisies, and answered the Facetime call without even checking if there was still vomit on her face.

The handsome face appeared. Ben’s face was still the same but just older. Even with the fuzzy picture between their phones she could see that there were lines around his eyes and on his forehead. Must be from all the arguing he does as a living.

“Rey,” he said with a smile.

And she wanted to throw up again.

“Uh…hi, Ben,” she replied sheepishly. “You got my message.”

“I…I did,” he said, looking away from the camera. “Quite a message to come home to.”

_Fuck, they got engaged last night and of course, I would leave that message when he’s getting engaged._ “I’m sorry,” she said. “I was drunk. For my…”

“Birthday, I know,” he laughed, finally looking back at her. “Happy 28th. You’re old now.”

It was her turn to look away from the camera. “Yeah,” she said to the ground. “But you’re still older.”

“That I am,” he agreed, still smiling. “What time is it over there? You said you were in Prague.”

Rey glanced over to her nightstand. Wow. “It’s…noon.”

“Late start?” he asked, smirking.

“Too late,” she mumbled. “I never do this.”

“I know. Must’ve been quite a bash. First birthday on a movie set. It’s a big deal. I’m glad they made a big deal of it, even though I know you hate it.”

“It wasn’t terrible,” she replied. From the corner of her eye, she could see Jessika and Finn escaping her room after trying to get a glimpse of her Facetime guest. She shooed them away and turned her attention back to Ben. “This morning was rough though.”

“You had some guests?” Ben was alluding to the figures that must’ve managed to be in sight briefly.

“My castmates,” Rey covered her face, feeling a headache coming on. “Everyone crashed at my place.”

“You still manage to wash your face last night or did you clean up when you woke up?”

_He remembered_. Rey was always diligent with her nightly routine. She could never fall asleep without getting her makeup off, washing her face, and brushing her teeth. It was a weird thing that was instilled in her by one of her foster parents. The mother always made her feel like she was dirty, no matter how clean she really was. It was like Rey always had to prove that she wasn’t some dirt gremlin that the state left on their doorstep.

Her mind wandered, wondering where those foster parents must be now. Did they see her name on Broadway? Would they see her name when movie trailers come out? Would they even remember her?

“Rey?”

“Oh, right, uh, yeah I washed my face last night,” she admitted, laughing. “I’m still a mess this morning though.”

“No,” Ben said suddenly. “You…you look good. Like always.”

_I’m gonna die. My heart’s gonna stop beating and Ben’s gonna have to watch me die right here and now even though we haven’t talked in years._

“Thanks…” she said slowly. “Um…I heard your big news. Congratulations.”

Ben opened his mouth to speak, closed it, and opened it again but no words came out. Rey wondered in her Facetime was cutting out but she could see subtle movements that would show that the connection was just fine. When he didn’t say anything, she piped up.

“Hey, isn’t it like 6 AM there?” she asked, looking at his surroundings to see if she could see any natural light.

“Yeah, I get up early now,” he finally spoke. “It’s the only time I ever have to myself.”

“That’s…sad,” she said before she could think about it. “I mean…”

Ben started laughing. “I guess it is a little sad. I get into work and it just doesn’t stop until I go to bed.”

“No rest for the wicked,” Rey found herself mumbling. _Shit_. “I mean…”

“We don’t need to go into that,” Ben said seriously. “This is…weird, anyways.”

“Yeah, that’s an understatement,” Rey said boldly. “Thanks for wishing me a happy birthday. And I congratulated you on your engagement. That’s amazing, really. She’s gorgeous. She’s Sebastienne’s sister right?”

“Rey…”

“Look, that voicemail, I was just really drunk and I remembered what we said at prom. It was just reminiscing on memories. It’s not like I was _actually_ hoping you were single and that we’d get married now that we’re both 28. Like you, of all people, wouldn’t have a girlfriend by now. It was just…we were stupid 18-year-olds making promises for our future, we didn’t know what we were talking about.”

“No, I guess we didn’t,” Ben said shortly. “We were…just stupid teenagers.”

Rey felt a pang in her heart. She was rambling, she was hungover, she wasn’t sure what she was saying. If she really meant it. Did she want something to come out of that voicemail she left last night? Was her drunk-self convinced he’d call her back, tell her he still loves her, and propose marriage and that would be it?

No, none of that was realistic. She just didn’t think that he’d have his engagement plastered all over the news so soon after she made a fool of herself.

Man, _I really am a fool. I was the one who didn’t want to stay together. I was the one who said we’d see how life went. If we were meant to be together, it would’ve worked out._

_Wow. This is too much reality for a hangover._

“I’m sorry,” she said sadly. “I…don’t know what I meant to happen after that voicemail. I think…deep down, I just wanted to talk to you again. Not even related to what we talked about during prom. I guess I missed you.”

Rey watched as Ben ran a hand through his hair. He did this only when he was thinking really hard. It was something he had in common with his dad. _Huh, I haven’t thought about Han in a long time too._

“I’ve missed you too,” he finally said, a smile appearing on half of his mouth. “I saw one of your _Legally Blonde_ showings, by the way. You make a good Vivienne.”

“It was such a limited run, I didn’t think anyone would see it,” Rey admitted sheepishly. “I…I can’t believe you saw it. That must’ve been, what? Two years ago?”

“Just about, yeah,” Ben replied. “Snoke had tickets to whatever show he wanted. I suggested the one about the Reese Witherspoon movie, not for…any other reason.”

Rey blushed. “Right. I’m sure that was a show Snoke thoroughly enjoyed.”

“Pretty girls dancing around, the heroine figuring out that she was worth more than being just someone’s trophy wife, one really cool girl dumping that asshole at the end when she realized that she was competing with the wrong person, no, he didn’t really mind it.”

“But it was more about the girls dancing, right?” she teased.

“Yeah, probably,” Ben admitted with a smile. “But that song you had toward the end, before the court case. That high note…man, it was incredible. You were always incredible.”

Rey wanted to thank him, and apologize to him, and profess her love to him all at once Tell him how stupid it was, what she said during prom night. But she just let the silence take over. They were quiet again, unsure of how to continue the conversation. They had to skirt around different topics it seemed; _what happened six years ago, his engagement, her drunken voicemail, prom ten years ago, what he did for a living._

“When are you coming back to New York?” Ben said to break the silence.

Rey thought about her calendar in her head. “I still have a couple of weeks of production and then I’m back in New York. I’m actually doing another show on Broadway starting end of October. _Waitress_.”

“Do you only do movie adaptations?” Ben joked.

“Ha, ha,” Rey rolled her eyes. “I’m starring actually. As Jenna. So you might actually see my name in lights.”

“I’ll have to catch it during the run. I’ll…bring Bazine.”

It was like ice water was poured over her. Back to reality.

“Yes!” Rey said a bit too enthusiastically. _Good thing I’m an actress_. _Imagine how awkward it would be if I wasn’t._ “Of course. The more the merrier.”

She was nervous now, that’s for sure. That was the first time he’d said his fiancé’s name and sounded just as beautiful from his mouth than…well, literally anything from his mouth. He could read off the Chinese take-out menu and Rey would still swoon.

She could see that Ben was uncomfortable as well. _Well, we’re both uncomfortable so let’s just keep it going._

“How long have you two been together?” she asked, not sure if she really wanted to know the answer.

“About six months,” he answered, his tone unsure. Or Rey was thinking too much into it (hoping?). Probably the latter.

“When you know, you know,” she said, putting on her best actress smile. “I’m really happy for you.”

He takes a few seconds to answer. “Thanks Rey, that means a lot.”

The silence overtakes them again.

  
And it’s awkward.

Again.

Finn seemed to have impeccable timing because he broke the silence by knocking on Rey’s door ( _when did they close that?_ ) and peeking his head in.

“We’re going out for lunch? You’re coming with us.” Finn gave her a look. _You don’t have a choice here. Get off the damn phone._

“Right,” Rey says slowly. “Give me five minutes.”

Finn nodded and closed the door. Rey turned her attention back to Ben’s face on her phone. “That’s my cue,” she says jokingly. “To…die from embarrassment. From everything that happened between midnight and now.”

“I’ll make sure to tell embarrassing stories at your funeral,” he says.

Rey makes a face. “Uh, you wouldn’t, _Prom King._ ”

“Okay, now I’m hanging up on you,” he kids, pretending like he was going to end the call. They share a genuine laugh, like two friends catching up. Not like two exes who were never actually official but basically were official, even losing their virginities to each other, and then broke up at the end of college when they theoretically could’ve been together.

And then stopped talking to each other.

Until a drunk voicemail and celebrity news forced them to talk again. After six years.

“I’ll see you when you’re back in New York?” he asks her, hopeful.

Rey nods. “Sure. When I’m between rehearsals. And when you’re….not working.”

Ben nods back. He glances off-screen and then back to Rey. “I’ll let you go. Get some food in you. Drink some water. You’re a damn mess.”

“Fuck you,” she says through her laughter. She hangs up and tosses her phone down on her bed. Finn pops his head back into the room, he must’ve had his ear pressed against the door waiting for the conversation to end.

“We’re ordering room service, actually,” he says. Rey rolls her eyes. “But you had to get off the phone with him. It was awkward as hell.”

“ _I know,_ ” Rey groaned as she walked to her bathroom. She slammed the door behind her. _“I know!”_


	5. October 2019

_Early October 2019_

Rey didn’t realize how much stuff she accumulated from her time in Prague but when it came time to pack her temporary apartment for the stuff she actually wanted to take with her, she realized that she’d have to pay _extra extra_ for this baggage.

She tried not to worry too much about the money right now. She was fine. More than fine. Better than she’d ever imagined she’d have in her bank account. And her agent had negotiated a portion of the movie profits once its run was over, which would guarantee her millions upon millions of dollars.

She never had to worry about money again. _If only me ten years ago knew._

Rey rid her mind from the memory of her ten years ago and continued to pack. She’d spent more time in his hotel suite than at the apartment she managed to snag in Brooklyn so she thought that she should just move what she had here to the bare apartment waiting for her. It had the furniture from it’s past tenants, some rich couple who were divorcing, and if she could tell anything from the past tenants they were cold and harsh. The furniture was not to her liking but she didn’t spend enough time there before she started filming to do any redecorating.

The rugs and art she acquired was definitely coming with her. How exactly, was the problem she chose to focus on now and _not_ what would be waiting for her when she went back to New York. To add more distraction tactics on her plate, Rey turned on her backing tracks for _Waitress_ , starting with the opening song.

“ _My hands pluck the things that I know that I’ll need…”_

* * *

When Rey landed in JFK, there seemed to be some big event going on for a Thursday. Paparazzi was covering the pick up area, she could barely see out of the windows to see if Rose was there to pick her up. It was a good idea that Rey put her sunglasses on already, not because she was expecting this crowd to be about her. She wouldn’t have to deal with this attention until after her first movie came out. Broadway was a big deal, even in a supporting role, but she didn’t get quite the crowd yet.

As she approached the exit, her rolling suitcase behind her and large duffel hanging from her shoulder, she had to dodge and weave through the seemingly hundreds of paparazzi, shouting and pressing their cameras incessantly. She almost lost her footing when a particularly large man was unmovable. Still, she pressed on, determined to get to freedom in the midst of this crowd that must’ve been waiting for the likes of Harry Styles or Taylor Swift.

Rey found Rose’s red Ford, tiny and safe like its driver, and she raced to it, the weight of her baggage be damned. Rose was coming out from the driver’s side to meet Rey’s hug halfway, squealing along the way.

“It’s been so long!” they said in unison and laughed. Rose went to grab Rey’s suitcase and then pointed to the commotion behind them.

“Is Kanye West here?” Rose asked, hauling Rey’s suitcase into the trunk.

“No idea,” Rey admitted. “They’re crazy though. Must be some hot shot.”

“That’s gonna be you one day, you know,” Rose teased, nudging her friend with her elbow. “Miss ‘Star of a Christopher Nolan’ movie.”

Rey rolled her eyes and took her glasses off. “Don’t remind me. I don’t know how celebrities do it. I just wanted to act.”

“Comes with a price,” Rose shrugged. “That’s why I’ll stay in New York and do shows on stage. I can’t wait to get back to it with you in a few weeks.”

“I can’t wait,” Rey agreed. “Filming was amazing but there’s nothing like performing every night.”

” _Bazine! She’s here! Oh, and her fiancé too!”_

“Hey, you’ve met Poe Dameron already right? He asked me to ask you when you guys could get together before rehearsals for _Waitress_ starts.”

The commotion ramped up, Rose’s words just barely registering in Rey’s mind, the screaming and the flashing and the pushing. Rey instinctively pushed Rose to the driver’s side and into her seat before rushing over to the passenger side and slamming the door before they could get trampled by the growing crowd.

“ _You’re beautiful!”_

_“Congratulations on the engagement!”_

_“When’s the wedding?”_

Rey tried to see the crowd of people but it would be no use. And if there was an off chance that she would see Ben and his fiancé right as she got off an international flight and not looking her best, she wasn’t going to take that chance. “Rose, drive. Please.”

“Okay, okay,” Rose said, looking around to make sure she could make an exit. Attention from the crowd outside was turned elsewhere and she managed to drive out of the pick up area and onto the highway easily.

“You never answered my question about Poe. Does Saturday night work for you?”

“Yeah, that’s good, I’ll see him then,” Rey said, not exactly in the moment yet.

“Did they say that was Bazine Netal? And Ben Solo?” Rose asked once the airport was behind them.

“Yeah,” Rey sighed. “The golden couple.”

Rose snorted. “What do you have against them?”

Rey closed her eyes. She hadn’t told anyone in her current life about Ben. When she finally started booking regular shows and steady jobs, she made the deliberate choice to keep her friendship, or _former_ friendship with Ben and his family a secret. She wouldn’t indulge anyone, not even her friends, in the stories of her life before she was an actress. She wanted to stand on her own two feet and she did not regret that decision.

But with her impending rise to Hollywood stardom because of her new movie, she knew that there would be ghouls out there who’d find her school records, pictures, documents in Child Protective Services, the tuition that she was awarded when Mayor Organa implemented a program to fund tuition for gifted student into prestigious high schools in New York.

They may find out how close she and Ben really were in their high school years.

Everyone will know soon enough.

“I have something to tell you,” Rey said sheepishly. “And it’s…a lot.”

* * *

“So the entire time we’ve been friends, we’ve been in multiple shows together Rey, we're gonna be in _Waitress_ together, we’ve gotten high together, and you never once thought to bring this up?”

They were sitting in Rey’s bare apartment on the superbly bland grey rug in the living room. UberEats delivered their assortment of sodium-rich food like Chinese and Thai and some decent sushi from a place around the corner. Rey told Rose not to mind the stains and just wipe her hands on the rug. She was going to get rid of it anyways once her furniture from Prague gets delivered.

“Nope,” Rey said, popping a shrimp into her mouth. “I never told anyone. And it didn’t seem like he would be ringing the alarm that he knew some random actress in New York back in high school. So there wasn’t any point.”

“ _Okaaaay._ But you couldn’t have told me? Your friend? That you were Sentator Organa’s son’s best friend? She might be President one day, Rey! You would know the First Family!”

“Plenty of people _know_ them. Even more people _knew_ them. I don’t know them anymore. So it doesn’t matter.”

“But…” Rose got distracted with picking up an eggroll with her chopsticks. “Right. Okay, so when the promotion starts for this movie and people see you in the trailer and start paying more attention to you, they’ll start making those connections. Dig into your past. They'll start putting all these details on your WIkipedia page.”

“Yes,” Rey couldn't help but roll her eyes. “Which is why I’m telling you now. So you didn’t have to hear about it on whatever news site wants to break it. Like they broke Ben’s engagement news.”

”OH shit!” Rose’s eggroll must’ve flown up several feet as she exclaimed. The eggroll landed in Rey’s food. She was impressed. “That’s _right!_ He’s engaged! To…”

“That family went to school with us too,” Rey said as she pointed her chopsticks. “The Kloda-Netals. Her sister was in our grade. Prom queen, when Ben was prom king.”

“Do you have pictures?!”

“No, but I’m sure his parents got every copy they could. He wouldn’t let me take a picture with the shitty phone I had at the time. TMZ will probably find them if they don't have them already.”

Rose put her food down gently and stood up. She started to pace across the living room floor, the big floor to ceiling windows showing off the New York’s skyline behind her.

“There has to be a reason you’re telling me this,” Rose was saying as she paced.

“Yeah, so you didn’t find out with everyone else that I knew him,” Rey replies. She continued to pick at her fried rice with her chopsticks.

“No, no, no, you had this weird look at the airport when they started screaming her name. You nearly injured me when you pushed me in the car.”

“I did not!”

“You were trying to make a quick escape,” Rose continued. “You didn’t want them to see you. It wasn’t about safety or the paparazzi. It was _them_. It was _him._ You guys were more than friends! You wouldn’t have reacted this way if you guys were just friends. You were together. You and him.”

Rey chose to remain silent, seemingly super interested in her carton of fried rice.

“I’m right, right? Tell me I’m right.”

“You’re right. You’re annoyingly right.”

* * *

It took a _small_ glass of wine for “The Promise” story to come out of her. Rose was half a bottle deep and was in better condition than Rey who wasn’t exactly _drunk_ , but lovesick. And emotional. And maybe a _little_ drunk, but nothing like her birthday a few weeks ago.

“I was stupid,” Rey said into her wine glass. “I should’ve just been his girlfriend. Like officially. What was wrong with me?”

“You made the smart choice, Rey. Eighteen-year-old you knew it, and you know it now,” Rose assured her. “He would be all the way in England for four years. All you guys would have was, what? A couple weeks during winter break? _Maybe_ the summers if you or him weren’t doing internships. You said you were working then too. You didn’t have time and you couldn’t give the relationship the attention it deserved. And he must’ve known that too.”

“And I know it was just some stupid agreement that we didn’t get shake hands on or signed a document for, but, it hurts. He said he’d wait for me. But what kind of person am I to _expect_ him to wait for me? It’s been _ten_ years. Ten. We’re completely different people. We might not like each other at this point in our lives.”

“Well the way you’re talking I don’t think anything has changed for you,” Rose joked, sipping on her beer. “You’re still in love with him.”

“Have you _seen_ him, Rose? You take his looks and you double that and that’s his personality. Or was. He was _perfect_. He was just…unbelievable. And I’m just…nothing, compared to Bazine.”

“Hey!” Rose grabbed Rey’s wine glass and placed both her and Rey’s drink away from them. “You don’t get to say that about yourself. I know you’re in some self-deprecating mood right now and I’ll let that slide, but you will not compare yourself to another woman, okay? Your successes are different. I don’t exactly know what she does but as long as she’s not a terrible person there is no reason for us to think negatively of her and we are not going to think negatively of you. Look at you, Rey! You made it! You’ve been on Broadway, you’re going _back_ to Broadway, and you have the most anticipated movie coming out next year! Girl, you made it! And I’m sure he’s going to see that once he can’t escape your name.”

At this point, Rey was in a fetal position with her head in Rose’s lap. She absorbed all of Rose’s words. She was right. There was no reason to compare herself to a woman she didn’t know. Her success was her own and could not be taken away because it was built on someone’s shoulders. She may not garner the paparazzi attention at JFK yet, but one day she will. And yeah, maybe one day, Ben wouldn’t be able to escape the mention of her. And one day maybe, hopefully, Rey would forget he existed.

But tonight wasn’t that night. Because as she did her nightly routine before bed, she glanced on her phone and saw that she had a text.

“ _Welcome home. Maz’s for breakfast on Saturday?”_


	6. October 2019 Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the kudos and comments.
> 
> Sorry for the angst. :)

_Early October 2019_

Friday was spent rearranging the furniture that arrived from Prague. And talking to Kaydel, basically her assistant, fairy godmother, publicist, _everything_ , as she arranged her books _just so_ in the built-in bookshelf in her apartment’s library.

_It has a library,_ Rey kept thinking to herself. She kept getting distracted and not listening to Kaydel who, _bless her_ , was the most patient woman in the world.

“Rey, rehearsals next week?”

“Right,” Rey came back from her day-dreaming. “Read-through first, vocal training, then meeting with the choreographer to make sure I still know the moves since it’s been months since I’ve seen them.”

“Perfect,” Kaydel checked something off her phone. That woman was the most organized person in the world. “Oh, right. I got this one thing in my email a few days ago. It was weird cause it seems like a personal email that should’ve been sent to you. How’d you snag an invite to Ben Solo and Bazine Netal’s engagement party?”

“Excuse me, what?”

“Yeah, look,” Kaydel tilted her phone to show Rey the weirdly classy e-vite that was sent to her work email. “It was sent as an encrypted attachment and all it said was to make sure that Rey Niima received this. Like it was being sent by the FBI. Seeing as his mother is senator, I guess I get it. So once again, how’d you snag an invite?”

“Friend from high school,” Rey muttered under her breath. She grabbed Kaydel’s phone to look at the invitation a bit more closely. It was kind of like one of those generic ones you could design yourself online but if it were possible that this e-vite had _real_ diamonds flashing at her, she could believe it. Their names were in a beautiful script and the details of when and where were included in gold. “I’m not going to this.”

“What?! Of course you’re going! It’s going to help your reputation, Rey! They’ll be wondering who you are!”

“I’m not going,” Rey said adamantly. “A giant claw machine would have to bring me there and just drop me in front of whatever museum it’ll be at. _The claw..._ ”

“A family friend?” Kaydel was thinking but talking out loud. “Were the Organa-Solos the ones who got you into that smarty-pants school?”

“My _grades_ were reason enough,” Rey said, angrily shoving a book into position. “I’m not going. That’s final.”

“Your schedule says you have a breakfast date with Ben Solo for tomorrow. You going to tell him tomorrow that you’re skipping his engagement party?”

“How—”

Kaydel waved her phone and pointed to Rey’s. “Isn’t technology great?”

They shared the same information. Any events that Kaydel would line up, Rey would be alerted to. And when Ben texted her about meeting at Maz’s on Saturday, it must’ve created an event. And showed up on Rey’s calendar. And Kaydel’s.

“Yeah, I’ll tell him then,” Rey said. “I can’t…go to it. I’ll say I have a thing. You’ll schedule me a thing.”

“Except I can’t per your contract with the Broadway production. Friday nights are supposed to be your “free nights”, which I found weird because you’d think people would die to see a Broadway show on a Friday night but the director explicitly rejected Fridays for her own personal reasons. So lucky you, you get to have a social night at least once a week until you’re done being Jenna. And look at that! This party is on a Friday. In just a few weeks.”

“So you can’t schedule it, right? Because of the contract?”

“Except this isn’t work related. No press, no interviews, nothing for the movie while you’re on _Waitress_. But social engagements are just fine.”

“You are impossible,” Rey said pointedly with a hard cover book. “Is this what you’re gonna be like when I have invitations to _everything_?”

“You know it, my little sunshine!”

Rey glared. “I’m still not going.”

“I’ll believe you when you tell me that you’ve told him. I need full details after you see him tomorrow. And I say this as a friend that needs some excitement in her life, not as your employee.”

“That’s funny, cause I feel like _I’m_ working for _you._ ”

Rey earned a high heel shoe to her abdomen for that.

* * *

Rey took the opportunity to take the subway whenever she could, not knowing when she’d be able to again without attracting a crowd. With her schedule the past year or so needing her to be in so many different places that wasn’t New York, she hadn’t been on the subway for a long time. But as she passed through the metal doors, her sunglasses now perched at the top of her head, she felt weirdly at home and comfortable among the New Yorkers who didn’t even give her a first glance let alone a second glance.

_Maybe I can keep riding the subway. It’d be so much easier than being driven around in traffic_.

Rey stood near one of the doors, just close enough to a pole to grab it and feel sturdy. Knowing that she wouldn’t get reception for at least ten minutes, Rey was glad she brought a book with her. One of those Harold Schechter books about some infamous serial killer. She was genuinely interested and found that it was an extra deterrence for strangers to approach her.

Eventually, she got off at the closest stop to Maz’s. Saturday morning in this area of Queens was relatively calm so Rey didn’t have to fight through too many people on the sidewalk doing their sightseeing and Instagram pictures. When she got to Maz’s, she saw a _very_ dark tinted vehicle with generic New York plates. Her eye caught the sunglassed man in the front seat. He had an earpiece and looked at her sharply.

_Well, looks like Ben’s here._

Rey resisted the urge to roll her eyes when she entered the restaurant, immediately feeling right at home when she heard the chimes above the door and the waft of ethnic breakfast food hitting her nostrils. A voice interrupted her homecoming thoughts.

“My girl! Look at you!”

Maz Kanata was small but she claimed a large presence. She also dressed pretty eccentrically, with a beaded headdress and long embroidered dresses. Her most distinguishing feature was, among all of them, her piercing eyes. Rey and Ben could never agree on what color they were because they always seemed to change like a mood ring.

Rey bent down to give Maz a strong hug that she deserved. She’d seen Maz on and off while she was still bartending and going to auditions but once her schedule filled up, she hadn’t been able to come across to city to enjoy one of Maz’s famous breakfasts.

Maz leaned up to pinch Rey’s cheeks, almost to the point that it hurt, but released and put her hand on Rey’s hips. “My goodness, you are beautiful. And still so young.”

“Oh no Maz, I’ve been told that 28 is old,” Rey joked.

“Was it that boy that told you that?”

“I’m actually supposed to be meeting _that boy_ —”

That was when that boy decided to emerge from the back hallway, dipping his head slightly to accommodate the restaurant that clearly wasn’t built with him in mind. He stalled there, as if he meant to hide, but he smiled his best smile regardless.

“Rey.”

“Ben.”

Maz was pushing Rey toward the hallway gently after the two spent a minute staring at each other and not speaking. “You go have your meal in the back. I don’t want the stupid paparazzi coming in here because of the senator’s son and a famous actress.”

“Since when is there a back?” Rey found herself questioning as she avoided being pushed directly into Ben’s large frame. He was leading the way to wherever this “back” place was. Finally, Rey saw that there was a back section with additional seating but then also areas hidden behind beaded curtains to offer even more privacy.

“Since Leia had to become senator but still kept wanting breakfast here,” Maz was saying annoyedly. “Apparently I had to build a more private area where her bodyguards could see her and this one here too. You are all headaches, all of you.”

“Pfff, not me,” Rey said, reaching for a freshly baked roll that was placed on a table. Presumably the one made for her and Ben. “I’m not the one with secret service outside.”

“Not yet,” Ben said, giving her a look. “I heard that you’re going to be in that new Christopher Nolan movie.”

“Oh, so you’re bringing the camera people here too! God! I can’t escape this!”

Maz was already shuffling away when Ben and Rey, in unison, said “Sorry Maz!”

They turned to look at each other, both flushed with laughter and smiles. The smiles slowly disappeared as they stared at each other again. Rey didn’t like that she was at a loss for words every time she saw him, through her phone or in person now. She talked for a living, she said carefully crafted words, she sang them for beautiful musicals, but she couldn’t talk now.

“Please sit,” Ben finally said, going to hold her chair out for her.

“I got it,” Rey said, stopping him from reaching over. “I can…I can sit.”

Ben nodded and took his own seat. He adjusted his suit jacket. _A suit jacket_. At 9 am on a Saturday morning. Guess he always had to look presentable now, whether it be defending America’s elite for their crimes or for a photo-op on the sidewalk with his fiancé.

_Stop it, Rey. It is not the time._

“It’s really great to see you,” he finally says. “It’s been what…”

“Six years,” Rey replied. “Not that I’ve kept track or anything.”

Ben raised a brow. “Right. Okay. This is a little awkward.”

“Yes,” she found herself nodding a little too fast for comfort. “Yes it is. I think it might’ve been a bad idea actually.”

“What? Why?”

Rey stopped fiddling around with her cloth napkin ( _a cloth napkin at Maz’s? What the hell is going on? I remember barely using paper napkins here)_ and tossed it on the table. “We don’t know each other anymore, Ben. Were we just supposed to pick up our friendship where it was left off?”

“Well, no, obviously not, but—”

“And we can’t really just _start over_ , can we? You’re this big deal celebrity lawyer and I’m just some actress. We’re not 18 again, as much as I sounded like I wanted to be in that stupid voicemail that got us to…do whatever this is. So, can we just forget I called you and left that voicemail? Can we go back to pretending we didn’t know each other? Because frankly it was easier to do that than remember what did or didn’t happen between us. You’re busy, I’m busy, it’s just…it’s better this way.”

“I respectfully disagree.”

Rey threw her hands up. “Stop being such a _polite_ lawyer here. Then what? What are we supposed to be doing? Having some awkward meal talking about how life has been for us the past couple of years? Talking about the good ol’ days?”

“I thought you would tell me about all the projects you’ve been doing the past couple years on Broadway and this new movie and I would tell you that I’m trying to leave Snoke’s firm and start my own.”

Rey’s head turned so sharply she thought she pulled a muscle in her neck. “What?”

“I was also going to ask you if you’d be my best man, best woman, whatever it is where you’re the person standing with me at the altar when I get married. But of course, none of this would turn out like I thought in my head.”

Ben rested his elbows on the table while grasping his hair with his hands, covering his eyes. Rey grabbed her cloth napkin again and placed it over her lap.

“I thought this was supposed to be breakfast.”

Ben looked up from his hands. He looked like he was on the verge of tears or anger, Rey wasn’t really sure. He stood up and walked to the hallway. Rey would’ve thought that he was leaving but he was saying “Maz, the food please” as he walked away.

* * *

“No, that was you.”

“I’m pretty sure _you_ were the one who came up with that idea.”

“Why would I be the one who put the “Closed for Maintenance” sign on the teachers lounge so they wouldn’t catch us in there? That was you.”

“But weren’t you the one who wanted to go in there in the first place?”

“Beause they had their own library in there, Ben. And couches. Like it was the Gryffindor common room or something. You were the one who thought of how to get us in there.”

“Oh. That’s right. Yeah, that was me.”

It was noon. They were still at Maz’s, the plates cleared, but Rey and Ben remained in their seats at the table, sharing stories from their past. There was some discussion about who broke one of Han’s airplane figures and tried to put it back together before he noticed but he’d noticed anyways, going to Ben’s mom’s yearly banquets and causing trouble in some other room in whatever large building they were in, Rey spending her breaks at the Organa-Solo house instead of with her foster dad who still cashed in the government check every month until she was 18 even if she wasn’t living him anymore.

Rey talked about her experiences on Broadway, how she was background on some smaller plays until she was cast as Elle Woods’ rival Vivienne Kensington, who had quite a musical part even if she wasn’t the star. How she starred for a few commercials until she started production on the new Nolan movie. How Kaydel managed to get her an audition for the revival of _Waitress_ and got the part even before they found out that she would be Hollywood’s next big deal.

Ben talked about how there were a couple of years there when he was estranged from his parents. But he glossed over the details of why and only went into when they reunited again. He talked about his Uncle Luke, a retired district attorney, who took up a hobby of tinkering with robots.

“ _Robots_ , Rey. He named one R2-D2 and I don’t know why.”

“Luke always thought that robots were the future. This is just him making sure he was right.”

What they hadn’t talked about was Ben’s engagement. He hadn’t mentioned it (the engagement) or her (his fiancé) once. At all. Not that Rey was paying attention. No, not at all.

But she was nosy and for some reason loves to ruin good conversations. She couldn’t help it. It was like _Mean Girls_ word vomit.

“So how did you and Bazine get together?” she asked him in her calmest voice. “If anything I thought it would’ve been Sebastienne.”

She earned an eyeroll from him. “Funny.”

“Thought so, _Prom King._ So, how does the fairytale story start?”

“Nothing exciting,” Ben shrugged. “We met through work. Her dad is an investor in the law firm. Guess he’s known Snoke for a long time. There was a work function, Bazine was there. We hit it off.”

“And the engagement? Did you get down on one knee at Rockefeller Center or something? What does the ring look like? Oh my god, how much was it?”

“It was at her family’s home in front of her family and Snoke. The ring was a custom one that she picked out. It was…a lot.”

Rey couldn’t tell if Ben was giving her answers like he would be if she were interviewing him. He elaborated on nothing, he spoke methodically, like it’s been rehearsed. Or maybe he had shared to story so much already that he didn’t bother to go into all the details every time he had to talk about it.

“It sounds…lovely,” Rey said, her smile not meeting her eyes. “I…wait. Earlier, did you say that you wanted me to be your Best Man?”

Ben sat up. His jacket was off by now, his sleeves pushed up on his arms. Rey told herself to stop staring. She didn’t.

“Yeah, who better than the best friend I ever had?”

Rey wanted to throw a tantrum. She wanted to tell him what a stupid idea it was, to ask a _female_ to be his _Best Man_ , not just because it was ironic (Isn’t it ironic? Don't ya think?) but also because they hadn’t known each other for their formative adult lives, and also because she was still in love with him and she’d get the best seat in the house to watch him marry someone else.

But she did none of that. Because Ben was flashing his eyes at her, his charming smile gracing his stupidly charming face, and she couldn’t say no.

_So much for telling Ben you wouldn’t go to their engagement party. Now you’re IN the wedding party._

“One on condition.”

“Anything.”

“I get to wear a suit too.”

“Deal.”

Ben reached over the table, offering his hand to shake for the deal. Rey took a few extra seconds before loosely wrapping her fingers around his for a quick handshake. She let go like a bomb would go off any second. The bomb was her heart, which was going to explode if she didn’t get out of there soon.

Ben cleared his throat, rubbing his hands against his dress pants awkwardly. “You got the invitation to the engagement party right?”

Rey nodded as she drank her water. She was chugging it at this point. Maybe she’d drown, yeah that’d be a good way to get out of this.

“It’s going to be mostly our parents’ friends, probably. And people from our firm. So, if you want to bring a friend with you so you’re not wandering alone, you're welcome to. I could try to sneak away from doing the usual stuff I’d have to do but I can’t promise that –”

“I’ll have a date,” was coming out of her mouth before she could think about it.

Ben was caught off guard. He blinked a few times, processing what she just said. “Oh. A date? Boyfriend? Or girlfriend?”

“Yeah,” Rey said with laughter. “A boyfriend. It’s kind of new so I didn’t really want to say anything. We’re keeping it quiet anyways.”

“Who…who is it?”

Rey thought of the first name she could think of. The person she would see later on that day. Her costar. “Poe Dameron. He’s the Jim to my Jenna.” That earns a look. “ _Waitress._ Costar in _Waitress._ ”

“Dameron,” Ben says slowly. “Wow. You didn’t mention him at all.”

“Well,” Rey shrugged her shoulders. “We’re keeping it quiet. We don’t know what they’ll think. The producers, I mean.”

“Right, that makes...sense.”

Ben stands up abruptly, his knees knocking on the table. Rey moves to grab the glasses still on the table as he walks away from his chair. “I…uh, I gotta go. And I have to make my exit back here so if any cameras are around, they won’t see me. Have to keep up this picture-perfect image, you know.”

_Yes, and being seen with me will derail that. Got it._ “O-okay,” Rey replied awkwardly. “I’ll leave through the front.”

“Right, yeah, good idea,” Ben was running a hand through his hair. _His poor head of gorgeous hair has been through a lot already today._

“So, I guess I’ll…go?”

Rey grabbed her bag and put her sunglasses on. She settled the strap onto her shoulder and glanced at Ben who had his hands on his hips and was looking at the ground.

_Damn it, why does he have to look so good even in crumpled clothes?_

“It was…nice,” she said nervously. “Seeing you. And…I’ll see you at the party. It’ll be the night before opening.”

Ben nodded at her, saying nothing else. She went to walk past him to walk back down the hallway from which she entered. A hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled her back.

Suddenly she was engulfed in a warm hug that she could’ve recognized blindfolded. He was always warm, always welcoming, always hugged her like it would be their last hug. Both of his arms wrapped around her lower back and he nuzzled his head beside hers.

Rey awkwardly wrapped her one free arm around his back. The other one was in the crossfire of the hug, pressed between their chests. She could only breathe him in. _He smells the same. If I close my eyes it’s like we’re at prom all over again._

“I missed you so much,” he said in her ear, his lips close enough to touch her skin. It made her shiver. “It just wasn’t the same without you. But I’m glad we’re here now and you get to be with me during all of this. I can’t do it without you.”

Rey fought back her tears and held Ben a bit tighter just to make sure he wouldn’t pull away and see her on the verge of crying. She blinked her tears away before pulling back, smoothing his expensive shirt back down his arm.

“I’m glad I’m here,” she said honestly. “For you.”

“Yes,” Ben smiled, he himself on the verge of tears. He walked over to his dress jacket and brought out a flower from his inner pocket.

A daisy.

Her favorite.

“It’s smushed but I saw one when I was coming here this morning. I thought it was a sign.”

Rey took the delicate daisy from Ben’s fingers and held it between both hands. A daisy? In the middle of Fall in New York? _Strange. But_... _it'll be okay._

“This is a sign,” she agreed. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

Ben was leaving through the back door before she could look up and say anything else.


	7. October-November 2019

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fun begins.

_Late October 2019_

“Rey, I can’t believe you’re already asking me out. I mean, this is the first time we’re really hanging out. And you want me to be your _boyfriend_?”

Poe held a hand to his chest, a fake shocked look on his face. They were at a sushi place near where rehearsals would be for _Waitress_. Rose had coordinated the whole thing, even though Rey and Poe were already acquaintances. It was a good idea that Rose did so because Rey had been so distracted since her strange breakfast with Ben the same morning that a text from Rose was the only reason why she wasn’t late to her meeting with Poe.

“Not my real boyfriend,” Rey explained. “I just…I need to bring a date to this thing. I can’t be there alone.”

Poe picked up one of his salmon rolls and pointed it at her. “And this _thing_ is Ben Solo’s engagement party?”

“Yes.”

“And you have to bring a date because…”

“Because I’m in love with him and can’t tell him and I have to watch him marry someone else and I can’t just look like I’m waiting for him to leave her. Yes. All that.”

Poe pops the roll into his mouth and dons a shit-eating grin. “And this is where I come in.”

Rey rolled her eyes massively. “Yes, Poe. This is where you come in. You have to pretend like you’re in love with me so Ben doesn’t think I’m still hung up on him because of this whole prom promise thing we had. And I would actually like it if you went with me, regardless of this whole charade. The Organa-Solo events were just _so_ boring, if I recall them correctly. I could probably have fun if you were there.”

“Probably,” Poe laughed. He placed his chopsticks down carefully and reached over the table to clasp Rey’s hands in his. His demeanor changed from a playful one to a serious, almost sultry one. _Damn. He really can act._ _He already looks like he’s in love with me._

Wait.

Duh. That would be his job for the next few months on-stage too.

“Rey,” he said softly. “My love. I would love to accompany you to this event.”

Rey looked at him with a glare. “Please take this seriously. I will do anything.”

“No need,” he waved her off. “This is just us taking our on-stage romance off-stage. We’ll just call it method acting. Plus, it’s not hard to pretend like I’m in love with you. I mean, look at you.”

She blushed involuntarily. She wasn’t naïve to the fact that casting directors seemed to be rather okay with her appearance. At 5’7 she was relatively tall, her figure was slender but not too skinny, her skin could keep a natural tan, and she was blessed with an acne-free face. To toot her own horn, Rey could rock a cute dress or a pantsuit any day. She’d been accustomed to strangers on set calling her pretty and beautiful and it became something so common that she never really absorbed it.

But when this handsome man in front of her, his head donned with dark curly hair, he had some scruff, and his eyes pooled of dark chocolate, she couldn’t help but be flattered. And embarrassed. And wished she could fall in love with him instead of being hopelessly in love with someone else.

“Thanks,” Rey responded sheepishly, tucking her hair behind her ear. “You’re not so bad yourself. I’ve seen the comments on your Instagram. I might get death threats once we start the show. More if this whole arrangement is exposed.”

“Fret not, my love. I will protect you from the rabid fans and this man who flaunts his love around you.”

“That’s not—”

“Oh come on Rey,” he said leaning back in his chair. “You two have history. You made some deal ten years ago to get married if you were single. He wouldn’t forget that. And then he asks you to be his _best man_ and come to the engagement party where all the attention’s going to be on him and his stunning fiancé? It seems like a ‘ _weird flex, but okay’_ move to me.”

Rey froze in the middle of taking a bite of her own salmon roll and processed what Poe had said. _No, there couldn’t be any truth to that…right?_ Ben wasn’t the type of person to flaunt his life to her, he’d never been that way. _But I guess I don’t really know him anymore_ …

“I’m not going to question what his motives are,” she finally said. “He’s engaged. He’s getting married. He wanted his oldest friend there for him. That’s it. Just a man who is getting married and needs his friend there.”

Poe stopped to look at her for a few seconds, his eyes seemingly searching in hers to call her bluff. _I’m an actor too, Poe_. He wouldn’t win this one.

“Fine,” he sighed. “I suppose there’s nothing nefarious going on under the surface. We’re not trying to make him jealous right? We’re not trying to pull a Julia Roberts/Dermot Mulroney thing from _My Best Friend’s Wedding_ where I’m that one dude singing _I’ll Say a Little Prayer_ and Bazine is Cameron Diaz?”

“No!” Rey said sincerely. “No, I just…I don’t want to be alone for this whole thing. And it’s easier if I just say I’m with someone so he and his fiancé don’t think that I’m there to pull a _My Best Friend’s Wedding._ ”

“But you’re still going to have the fake boyfriend.”

“Yes, but I’m not plotting to make him change his mind. It’s too late for that. Plus, he seems really happy. I won’t destroy his life.”

“But it’d be so much _fun._ ”

“Poe.”

* * *

Rehearsals for _Waitress_ kicked into full gear just the Monday after Rey’s busy Saturday. She went to fittings and read-throughs and rehearsals and vocal coaching and choreography training every single day for two weeks straight to make sure that she and the cast were ready for their opening night, which was the day after Ben and Bazine’s engagement party.

Rey’s nerves were all _Waitress focused_ for two weeks. _Make sure you don’t spill the coffee during ‘Opening Up’. Keep your knees together, god dammit. The costume just hits right above the knee. Don’t be afraid to really show your feelings out there with Poe. You’re supposed to be infatuated with him, you’re having an affair._

Pretending to be in love with and kissing Poe Dameron came easy. Poe would play Dr. Jim Pomatter, Jenna’s OB/GYN and the object of her affections when she finds herself with a baby on the way in a terrible, abusive marriage. Poe would have to play Jim a little awkwardly, their first duet together all sorts of awkward, but when he smiled, Rey was automatically at ease. The script flowed out of her mouth as Jenna, Poe as Jim, Rose as Dawn, and the rest of the cast. She’d never had so much fun on a production. Doing this several times a week for several months wouldn’t be so bad at all.

_I could fall in love with Poe every day on stage._

Rey hoped that those feelings would eventually develop off-stage. So she’d feel something else for _anyone_ that wasn’t Ben. But once Rey went home after a long day of rehearsals, her mind focused on one person. And she hated it.

Especially since he started texting her regularly for the next few weeks.

_My parents can’t wait to see you._

_Uncle Luke asked about you._

_I just watched Waitress (the movie) again. It’s ironic. You’re terrible at baking._

Rey was annoyed at the last text. Since she last saw Ben she’d actually gotten better at cooking and baking. So _no_ , it wasn’t ironic anymore. She may not be as good as Jenna at making pies but she wouldn’t be belittled like this.

She knew she was overreacting. It was just a silly text from her old friend. But she couldn’t help herself when her first text to him after he’d started texting her was:

_You’d be surprised._

She turned Do Not Disturb on, plugged her phone in, and went to do her nightly routine.

* * *

_Early November 2019_

Kaydel wanted to bring over a ton of dresses that Rey could wear to the party. “You’ve had so many designers want to loan you clothes! Take advantage! You could show up at that party in _Chanel_ , Rey. _Chanel._ ”

Rey refused all of Kaydel’s attempts and simply made do with something she already had in her closet. She didn’t really want to put that much effort into her outfit. _Pfff, like I’d wear Chanel to my not-so-ex’s engagement party. He doesn’t deserve that._

Rey decided to wear an off-the-shoulder, dark, floral, flowy dress that was long enough to touch her shins. She did a simple tease of her hair into a ponytail, putting some hairspray along her hairline to keep the fly-aways at bay. Her makeup was minimal as usual, just some concealer, mascara, brow gel, a touch of a mauve blush, and a red lip sheer for just a tiny bit of color.

When she went to pick her shoes, she couldn’t help but gravitate towards her Christian Louboutin heels, the trademark red on the bottom. She’d bought them with her first sizable check after a few shows of Legally Blonde as a treat to herself. Having only worn them once before, and not having much of a reason to bust them out until now, she thought it’d be the perfect time to show some extravagance.

Rey grabbed a black shawl and dark red clutch before exiting her sizable closet, taking one last look at herself in her floor-to-ceiling mirror resting against her bedroom wall. She felt good, like a star, ready to take on such an awkward night. She heard the buzzer at her door, notifying her that someone was at the building’s entrance. With one last look in the mirror, she popped her phone into her clutch, made sure her keys were in there, and left the apartment.

* * *

“I daresay we planned this,” Poe was grinning as he drove to the Met. _Of course the Organa-Solos and the Kloda-Netals would use the Metropolitan Museum of Art as a venue for an engagement party._ “The red in the flowers of your dress. My tie. Aren’t we just the cutest couple?”

Rey repressed the urge to nudge Poe’s shoulder since he was driving. She smiled nonetheless, amused that even if they didn’t mean to match, _they did_. Maybe they could really pull this off, make it look like they were dating, and Ben wouldn’t look at her like some hung-up, lovestruck girl from his teenage years. He would see that she moved on even if she hadn’t actually moved on.

Rey’s rising confidence dropped significantly when she saw that there were tons of paparazzi outside of the Met. She hadn’t thought of the engagement party as a public event where reporters and paparazzi would stalk outside to get glimpses of the important people on the guest list. But here they were, cameras flashing, names being shouted, and before she knew it, Rey was being helped out of Poe’s car by a valet.

Poe quickly walked over to Rey, buttoning his jacket on the way, and put a hand on her back. He leaned in closely to whisper in her ear. “We can probably just sneak behind the press wall and go in so we don’t have all these pictures taken.”

Rey nodded in agreement and took Poe’s extended arm. He led them towards the area behind the press wall, a large wall covered in vines and flowers, their heads slightly lowered in order to avoid _any_ attention, but their plot was foiled when a familiar face recognized Rey.

She heard the person shouting her name. It wasn’t a paparazzi, no. They weren’t that familiar with her yet. No, it was worse than a paparazzi.

It was Leia Organa.

Rey could barely see the senator making her way over to where Rey was standing with her hand around Poe’s arm. Suddenly she was being pulled into a hug by the woman several inches shorter than her, not seemingly caring about how her bodyguards where immediately crowding around them or how the cameras went off even faster.

“Rey,” Leia leaned back but kept her arms firmly around Rey’s shoulders. “Look at you.”

“Hi Leia,” she said nervously, trying not to pay attention to how the paparazzi and the press were paying attention to her.

“It’s been too long,” Leia said sincerely. Rey nodded in agreement. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“I’m happy to be here as well.”

“And who’s this?”

_I really didn’t want to do introductions in front of so many people who would be capturing every moment and plastering it all over social media within seconds. But, here she was._

Rey turned to Poe and smiled. “Leia, this is my boyfriend Poe. Poe, this is Leia Organa.”

Leia was immediately charmed, as everyone is when they meet him. Poe took a hold of Leia’s extended hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. Rey tried not to laugh when she noticed one of Leia’s bodyguards glaring at them.

“You’re Kes Dameron’s boy, aren’t you?”

“Yes ma’am,” he replied, flashing his perfect teeth.

_Oh right, Kes Dameron, New York’s District Attorney._

_And always at war with Snoke’s firm._

_That Ben works for._

_Oh my god._

“Well, off you two go for your photo-op,” Leia was nudging them towards the sea of cameras. “Broadway darlings, the both of you.”

Poe and Rey barely managed to look at each other to check each other’s comfort level before they were being pushed to the little section between the flower wall and the rope keeping the press back. Instinct took over as Rey put her hand on her hip, placing her other hand behind Poe’s back, and the two posed together like they were New York’s It Couple.

The flashes never ceased, the screaming of their names only increased, and Rey was so glad that Poe was there holding her waist to keep her from falling or running away.

“Relax, you’re supposed to look in love with me.”

Rey could feel her lips upturning into a genuine smile, not one of her press smiles. She couldn’t help the little giggle that she did, turning slightly to hide it behind Poe’s shoulder. She could feel Poe’s arm loosen up on her waist, pulling her slightly closer, and their touch melted into something friendlier than their stoic poses from before. He turned to look at her, slightly upward since Rey was now taller in her heels. His smile put her at ease. The cameras went crazy for the couple looking into each other’s eyes lovingly.

Rey knew that they’d have to deal with some press repercussions from the _Waitress_ producers in the morning. But she was hoping they’d see that any publicity was good publicity. She hoped. She couldn’t think of that right now. There was too much going on at this particular moment.

Eventually, Poe waved goodbye to the cameras and led Rey away from the press and up the stairs into the museum. Once they were checked in and searched by the extensive security, Poe and Rey started laughing to themselves.

“Not what I was expecting,” Poe admitted as they made their way into the main room. “Then again, I don’t know what I was expecting when two of New York’s most famous families would come together.”

“I didn’t think there’d be a place for media,” Rey said. Someone holding a tray of champagne glasses stopped in front of them and Poe took two, handing one over to her. “Thanks. Yeah, Leia never allowed press like that in front of her events. She kept it all private and secure.”

“Guess they’re really trying to get on the press’s good side. She’s going to announce her presidential bid soon. Showing her off her son and his fiancé to the world is just positive publicity. The voters who will just turn 18, female _and_ male, by the time the election comes around is going to remember Leia Organa’s handsome son and vote for his mom, giving into their delusions that they’d have a chance with him.”

Rey’s mouth dropped. Poe only shrugged with a grin. “You know I’m right.”

“I’m sure both families are benefitting from this,” she said, sipping her champagne. She wasn’t ready to go into the room any further than their little area just beside the doors.

“It’s like America’s own royal wedding. They’re profiting off of this. I don’t know how by they are. Politicians and lawyers, all the same.”

“Your dad is a lawyer,” Rey reminded him.

“The only good one out there,” Poe muttered, downing his glass. “Speaking of lawyers, the man of the hour has seen you.”

“What?” Rey turned her head, trying to spot Ben in the crowd, but her attention was turned when Poe put his arm around her waist again and pulled her close.

“He’s at our 10 o’clock, he’s just staring now. But you have to look like you are having fun with me rather than trying to make your escape.”

Rey followed orders and put on her best smile. “You’re really into this method acting, huh?”

“People get to believe that I was able to woo Hollywood’s next It Girl, I’m enjoying this as much as you’re benefiting from this. How do you feel about kissing in public?”

Rey shrugged. “We kiss on stage. It’s not a big deal.”

“Okay good. Not that I’m going to kiss you right now but I just didn’t want to put you on the spot if it comes up.”

“Wow, you’re all about the details.”

“You know it,” Poe winked. “Do you want to get this awkward introduction over with?”

“I guess we’ll have to at some point so sure, let’s do it.”

“Good, cause they’re coming over.”

Before Rey could turn her attention to their 10 o’clock, Poe was already spinning her around and his hand extended out to make an introduction. Or not?

“Ben, hey.”

“Poe.”

“You two have met?” Rey asked slowly, looking between the two men, barely registering that Bazine was also _right there._

“Of course,” Poe said, his hand still shaking Ben’s. “We were roommates once.”

“This never came up during your…relationship?” Ben questioned, looking more at Rey than at Poe.

“We don’t bring up people from our pasts, Ben. I’m sure you understand that.” Poe clapped the taller man on the back, earning a glare. Rey tightened her grip around Poe’s arm. “Ben, you’re being very rude here. This is your beautiful fiancé?”

Bazine stepped forward, smiled brightly, and offered her hand to Poe to shake. “Bazine Netal, it’s wonderful to meet you. And you, Rey. I can’t say I remember you when I was a freshman and you were a senior, but I’ve heard so much about you lately.”

The statuesque woman went in for a hug and Rey could not refuse it. She felt Poe’s arm leave her waist as she was engulfed in Bazine’s arms. She was hugged tightly, maybe too tightly, but she could tell that Bazine must’ve been a big hugger. It lingered for a few seconds before Rey managed to pull back, making awkward eye contact with Ben over Bazine's shoulder.

“Congratulations, both of you,” Rey finally said, looking between the couple. “I can’t even imagine the wedding if the engagement party is this incredible.”

“It was all our parents,” Bazine told her, putting a comforting hand on Rey’s arm. “They wanted to make such a big deal about this. It’s a little embarrassing actually.”

Rey was surprised at Bazine’s apparent indifference to the party being thrown in her and her fiance’s honor. She was almost sure that the bride-to-be demanded such a big event to show off her massive ring, which _was_ massive Rey noted, but it didn’t seem that way at all.

“To be honest I wish we just got to celebrate privately,” Bazine was leaning in to whisper into Rey’s ear. “I don’t care much for the attention. My sister’s the Prom Queen, not me.”

Rey found herself smiling at Bazine. _Wow. This is not what I expected_.

Ben’s fiancé was surprisingly down-to-earth, and Rey was unprepared to actually _like_ her. But she could feel like she could like her, they could’ve been good friends in another life. She also noticed how Bazine’s hand casually cradled Ben’s inner arm while Ben had his hand placed over hers, a tender moment between the two that Rey felt like she was intruding upon.

“I’m sure you two have other guests to greet,” Poe said as he took Rey’s hand. “My love, would you like to dance in a non-choreographed manner on the dance floor? We don't get that chance very often.”

Rey couldn’t help her eyes rolling as Poe pulled her toward the dance floor. She turned to wave goodbye at the gorgeous couple, returning Bazine’s smile while Ben looked on, no expression on his face.

Poe got them into the waltz position and followed the rest of the dancers to the ¾ music, leading Rey into the weirdly synchronized dancing surrounding them.

“You good?” he asked her quietly.

“Yeah.”

“We have to pretend to be more in love, don’t we?”

“Yup.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey's dress: https://www.asos.com/us/parisian/parisian-floral-off-shoulder-midi-dress/prd/9297973?affid=24960&channelref=product+search&mk=abc&ppcadref=6718786316%7C78020250863%7Cpla-294682000766&cpn=6718786316&_cclid=Google_Cj0KCQiA7OnxBRCNARIsAIW53B_2g6N3w1St2BDEIykJg7C4ju81UmdShXZuEyPgH3S7u0q7wbc5nCIaAg3vEALw_wcB&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7OnxBRCNARIsAIW53B_2g6N3w1St2BDEIykJg7C4ju81UmdShXZuEyPgH3S7u0q7wbc5nCIaAg3vEALw_wcB


	8. November 2019 Part II

_November 2019_

“Thank you all for coming to this special night! To Benjamin and Bazine!”

Glasses were raised in the air. There were gentle clinking noises of the expensive crystal and then a short silence as everyone took a sip. Rey found herself downing her glass, her second of the night (she was keeping track so she wouldn’t accidentally make a fool of herself), as she said a silent cheers to the happy couple.

Poe was laughing and shaking his head to himself when he met Rey’s eyes.

“It’s been a long night,” she said quietly, joking slightly. Bazine’s father was the one on stage saying a few more words in honor of his youngest daughter’s engagement. Rey didn’t really feel like paying attention.

“Yeah, pretending to be in love with me is _such_ hard work.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Rey glanced around her tablemates, a bunch of older people that she didn’t know, and was glad that no one seemed to be paying attention to her conversation with her date.

“I know, my love,” he sighed, taking a hold of Rey’s hand. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s almost over,” she merely shrugged. “Then _you_ don’t have to be in love with me until we get invited to some other fancy shindig.”

“Night’s not over.”

The crowd started clapping quietly, like it was a damn golf course, as Bazine’s father got off stage. The small orchestra began playing background music again and the soft murmurs of the crowd started back up. Rey, tired of being on her heels and also feeling a little hot, was chugging her water when another familiar person approached her.

“There’s the little scavenger.”

Rey turned around and nearly choked on her water when she saw Han Solo, a bit more grey since the last time she saw him, and she jumped out of her seat to give him a hug.

“How are ya, kid? Taking over the world?”

“Hardly,” she told him. She couldn’t help the genuine joy she felt seeing Han again. He was the closest thing she ever had to a father and at least she wasn’t in front of the cameras so she could give him a proper greeting.

“We heard you were starring on Broadway soon,” Han said. “We’re going to be there opening night. Leia pulled some strings.”

“I could’ve pulled the strings, you know?”

“You know my wife. She’s more powerful than any of us could ever be.”

Rey had to agree. Leia Organa was exactly what she wanted to be as a woman. Successful, strong, kept her sarcastic humor, and took no shit from anyone. She could see Leia as America’s future president, with her handsome husband by her side.   
  


“Who’s this fellow?” Han gestured over to Poe.

Poe eagerly grasped Han’s hand to shake. “Poe Dameron, sir. It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. You Kes’ son?”

Poe nodded. “Your dad’s one of the few good ones out there, you know,” Han said, placing his hand on Poe’s shoulder. “You treating this girl right?”

“Han!”

“I’ll know if you treat her wrong,” Han was saying to Poe with a finger in his face.

“Okay, okay that’s enough,” Rey pushed the two men apart. She knew that Han was merely joking and Poe’s chuckling showed that he understood that as well. “Han, yes, this is my boyfriend Poe. He and I are on _Waitress_ together.”

“Ah, the classic ‘costars falling in love’ bit. It’s a classic.”

“A classic bit, yes.”

Ben saddled up beside his father, a bottle of beer in his hands. Rey noticed that he looked a bit more disheveled than when she last saw him an hour ago. She understood why when Ben’s fingers shook at he lifted the bottle to his mouth. _Guess you should be getting hammered at your engagement party._

“Ah, Ben! Rey, can you believe it? My son is getting married.”

“I can,” Rey said, keeping her focus on Han. Ben’s eyes seemed like they were trying to pierce holes into her forehead. “He’s always been a catch.”

She felt Poe’s arm slide around her waist. She welcomed it, leaning into his warmth as she continued to avoid Ben’s glare. A quick look to Poe showed him exactly what their next move would be. An exit.

“We have rehearsals early tomorrow,” Poe said during the weird silence. “Since the opening is tomorrow night, we should call it an early—”

“Leaving so soon?” Ben piped up. “The party hasn’t even started.”

“Thank you for having us but—”

“You know what? I think what this party is missing is a live performance. And what better than two of Broadway’s up and coming stars?”

“ _Ben_.” Rey and Han said his name at the same time. That didn’t deter the groom-to-be, apparently.

“Come on, you two are in love and obviously talented. Use the stage as part of your rehearsal. I’m sure the band knows the music. Come on, I’ll lead the way.”

Ben was grabbing Rey’s hand before she could protest. Poe followed suit, the two extremely uncomfortable as they had no choice but to follow the obviously drunk Ben Solo to the stage. He took the microphone, interrupting the small orchestra playing the background music.

“Hi everyone, thank you for being here.”

It was miraculous how quickly drunk Ben became serious Ben. It was unnerving, actually. _All that public speaking must be great practice_ , Rey thought.

“I am so glad to have our family and friends here to celebrate our engagement, mine and my wonderful Bazine. We are lucky to have such tremendous support as we embark on this journey together.” Ben’s head turned sharply into Rey’s direction. “We are all lucky to be in the presence of the stars of Broadway’s return of _Waitress_ which opens tomorrow night. One of them was my best friend in high school and she’s here tonight, supporting me, and agreed to be my best man to support me on the most important day of my life.”

Rey couldn’t move. She was angry. She was embarrassed. She wanted to cry and scream and run away all at the same time. Poe’s gentle hold around her was the only thing keeping her still and up. He’d been her literal support system all night and Rey was grateful. She was sure that he was embarrassed as well. They never meant to be standing on stage as the groom-to-be put them on the spot.

“I have one request for you two, and it would be difficult to deny a man on the night of his engagement party.”

_That makes no goddamn sense_ , Rey said in her head. She also wanted to scream it.

“Can you two give all of us a little preview of your show? A song, perhaps?”

Rey could’ve slapped Ben across the face. The tall man, wearing his best tuxedo and his hair annoyingly perfect as always, was smiling at her like there were some ulterior motives behind his eyes. _Are you trying to embarrass me? Really? Now?_ He was asking something of her that she couldn’t possibly do. The show hadn’t opened yet and to perform tonight, the night before opening, would probably be breaking rules that were deep in one of her contracts.

Poe stepped away from her and up to Ben. “Of course,” she heard him say loudly. “Of course. Anything for you, Ben.”

Ben’s smile disappeared slowly as Poe made his way over to the orchestra, asking a few questions. Rey remained rooted in her spot, unmoving, as the crowd murmured in confusion. She avoided looking at Ben who was now just dumbly holding the microphone he’d held so confidently just moments ago.

Poe approached Rey and whispered, “ _It Only Takes a Taste._ ”

_Oh god, Poe actually wants us to perform?_ Out of the corner of her eye she could see the orchestra preparing. _So they do know the music_.

Poe grabbed her hand and led her over to where the microphones were, where Ben was still standing, and Poe grabbed the mic Ben held in his hand, taking the extra one and handing it to Rey. Ben shuffled away, walking off stage, going over to where Bazine was waiting on the side.

“Good evening everyone, I’d like to thank the parents of the bride and the parents of the groom for putting together such a wonderful event to celebrate such beautiful love,” the ever-charming Poe Dameron greeted the crowd, earning a few genuine _awwws_. “This is a little impromptu, but Ms. Niima and I are always looking for a reason to rehearse, and how can we refuse such a request from Ben Solo?” He gave her a smile and Rey couldn’t help but return it. She avoided looking at Ben who maybe, just maybe, looked angry. “As Ben said, Rey and I are starring in _Waitress_ which opens tomorrow night. So, you are all seeing a performance than no one has seen before. Just a little context for the show though.”

Rey’s heart started pounding. She could barely hear Poe explaining the context of the scene as she felt her hands clam up, both now grasping the mic she’d been handed.

“Jenna, played by Rey, and I, Dr. Jim Pomatter, see each other at a bus stop…”

“They’ve met before. He’s her OB/GYN.”

“Jenna gave him one of her famous pies.”

“This is him telling her how he felt about it.”

The notes on the piano started and Poe jumped into character.

“You know what’s kind of funny?” he began his lines and Rey melted into character. She wasn’t here at Ben’s engagement party anymore. No, she was on stage with Poe Dameron, performing _Waitress_. She was Jenna, currently pregnant, talking to her doctor who’d she’d just run into at the bus stop. Sure, they didn’t have their typical set or their wardrobe for their characters.

But they were actors. And singers. They were performers. So they’ll act and sing like they weren’t just hoodwinked into it.

“Just seeing you standing here all by yourself in your uniform… _you remind me of a girl I once knew. God, by now she’s well in middle age. Probably 41. 42.”_

“Uh…” Rey said in character, acting offended. “Thanks?”

Poe’s eyes bulged at her, immediately trying to take it back. “What? Oh my god! No, no, no, _no_.”

He started to sing again. _“She was a waitress at a shop I used to frequent quite a lot…”_

Rey acted as if to say “ _Ohh…I get it”_ as Poe continued.

“ _Nice teeth and small hands and snuck me goodies I couldn’t afford then. But she was sweet to me.”_ He looks up and looks straight into her eyes. _“Reminds me of you.”_

“Oh, well, no one ever really notices me that way so…” she replies, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously.

“Somebody did right?” Poe/Jim asked.

“Hm?”

“Yeah, because you have the…the baby.” He makes a brief motion of an oversized belly before they both abruptly look toward the audience, earning a laugh from them.

“ _She’d bake the pies fresh every day, like you I guess, but I must say if pies were books yours would be Shakespeare’s letters.”_ Poe sang directly to her, barely noticing the audience now. “ _You remind me of her…but…better.”_

Poe’s voice was enchanting and Rey knew the audience could not get enough of it. He had such a melodic and solid voice, with so much control that even as he spoke he sounded like he was singing. He made it look easy, and Rey wanted to make it look just as effortless.

“ _It only takes a taste when it’s something special. It only takes a taste when you know it’s good. Sometimes one bite is more than enough…to know you want more of the thing you just got a taste of…”_

Rey turned her attention to him, as if she’d just remembered something. It was her turn to sing. “ _That reminds me of a thing we would say, me and my mamma in the kitchen when we’d bake. She’d say ‘Jenna, you can tell the whole story with a taste’.”_

“Yeah! No, _that’s exactly what I mean_ ,” Poe continued. Rey was grateful he’d picked this song instead of their slower song further into the play. That one was not something to perform in front of New York’s most prestigious since it ended with their two characters consummating their affair. He had the bigger part in this song and she was happy to just be the support at this moment. “ _I swear that as those flavors mixed and melted I could hear the sirens sing. It was truly something special. One taste and I want the whole thing.”_

Poe was getting really into the song, clenching his fists as he talked about a pie that he’d never tasted, and could never taste, because there was no real-life Jenna to make this life-changing pie.

The music slowed down slightly as Poe continued. “ _I must say…it felt like I was carried away…intoxicated…made me escape the room I was in.”_

He stepped closer to her slightly, gesturing as if to reach for her hands but stopped before he could. “ _I can’t help but wonder how your hands must have felt creating such a masterful thing…”_

_“Just one bite…”_ Rey cut in, her eyes locked with his. “ _caused all that wondering….”_

A momentary silence was cut with the sound of staccato bass notes as they sharply looked at the audience again.

“ _It only takes a taste…”_ Poe sang along before Rey joined in on the harmonies.

“ _It only takes a taste…when you know it’s good. Sometimes one bite is more than enough…”_

They smiled at each other, ready to sing their final line together. “ _To know you want more of the thing you just got a taste of.”_

Clapping erupted in front of them as they sang the lingering final note. She could hear Han cheering something amongst the loud clapping, way different than the golf clapping earlier. In unison Rey and Poe put their microphones on their stands and gestured over to the orchestra that accompanied them. The claps continued.

Poe reached for Rey’s hand, squeezing it, before leading them into a synchronized bow. When they were upright, Poe took hold of Rey’s cheeks, running his thumbs over them, before giving her a sweet kiss.

_Melt into it. Just melt into it_ , Rey was thinking. _Imagine the butterflies in your stomach. You should have butterflies in your stomach. This man just saved your ass on stage and he’s kissing you and he’s gorgeous and this should be how your epic romance starts._

When Poe pulled away, Rey gave him a genuine smile which he returned. Rey looked deeply into his eyes, knowing that they weren’t the ones she had fallen in love with years ago. Poe nodded to her, understanding the conflict going on in her head. He pulled her into a hug.

“Did I tell you that you look beautiful tonight?"

Rey tensed just slightly but then laughed. “Nice timing. I can’t thank you enough for doing this.”

“You’re more than welcome.” They separated slightly, keeping their arms wrapped around each other. “He left, by the way. Right when it ended.”

“What?”

Poe led her over to the side of the stage so they could get off. It was the same side that Ben walked off too but she could only see Bazine now, there was no Ben insight. The bride-to-be gave her a big hug, thanking her for such a wonderful performance, but Rey could only wonder where her fiancé was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please go to Youtube and search 'It Only Takes a Taste' and watch ANY version. I love the Sara Bareilles/Jason Mraz version but the Original Broadway Cast with Jessie Mueller is just as good. Please listen to the song and envision this scene taking place, you won't regret it.


	9. November 2019 Part III

_November 2019_

“I have to go pee.”

“Oh, so I can’t leave you alone for the fear of you being ambushed by your ex but you can leave _me_ to be ambushed by older, Broadway adoring, rich people.”

“You love the attention. And I’ve had at least two things of champagne and more water to flush it out. So now I actually have to flush it out.”

“Okay, you’re gross. Get out of my face.”

“But you pretend-love me?”

“I do,” Poe said, giving her a kiss on the cheek, accepting Rey’s bag to hold, before she walked away to find the women’s restroom.

After their little impromptu performance, Rey and Poe became the center of attention at the party instead of the engaged couple, of which one was incognito. They signed autographs on any scrap of paper people could find, made false promises of obtaining free tickets for them ( _I don’t know you, I don’t think I could pull those strings)_ , and accepting love and praise for their sweet performance and even sweeter relationship.

They’d convinced a whole room of strangers that they were in love after one song. Convincing a full theater of patrons every night was going to be easy and a blast.

Rey was reminded why she loved performing on stage first and foremost. The reactions were instantaneous. She didn’t have to do take after take, annoyed at herself for not _getting it right_ , until it felt as though the director was settling for whatever take they had. Not that she didn’t enjoy filming for a movie, it was just more pressure than being on-stage where your talent is first and foremost and you can’t take anything back.

Until the next night you perform it all again.

Rey could only hear the sounds of her fancy heels clicking against the marble flooring as she followed the directions to the bathroom. It was eerily quiet in the hallways, quite a change from such a lively room where the party was occurring. So eerily quiet that it was a distraction.

Distracted, Rey turned the corner sharply and bumped right into a large frame. She quickly apologized, gaining her bearings again, when she noticed that it was the groom-to-be, standing there alone, in front of the bathrooms, seemingly doing absolutely nothing but drinking some amber-colored liquid from a crystal glass.

“Ben?”

He turned around, running his hand through his hair. “Rey. You didn’t have to come looking for me.”

“I didn't,” she replied, confused. “I was trying to find the bathroom.”

“Oh.” He was unmoved. So she skirted around him awkwardly to get closer to the door.

“Yeah so…excuse me,” she said awkwardly before going into the bathroom to do her business. After a much-longer-than-the-recommended-15-to-20-seconds washing her hands under hot water, Rey toweled her hands off on the one-use Egyptian cotton washcloths the bathroom had available before stepping out again.

Ben was still there, still stoic, still unmovable, still holding his glass.

“You’re missing your party, you know?” she teased.

“You’re dating Dameron.”

_Huh._ “Yeah…I am. We met doing shows.”

“You don’t know him like I do.”

“Cause you knew each other in college you know him better than anyone? Oh please, everyone changes. I’m a completely different person than I was before.”

“No, people never change. You’re exactly the same as you were. Like me. And he’s exactly the same as he was.”

“Well I don’t know you anymore,” Rey told him angrily. “But I know him.”

Ben’s hand went to squeeze the bridge of his nose as if to suppress some anger. _He must be hammered._ “He used to date around in college, Rey. Boys, girls. Not that it matters but the point is that he was with a lot of people, he never stuck with one. And he was in college for a law degree but completely changed his mind and went into acting. He doesn’t stick with one thing. Pretty sure he was doing something different before he even tried law.”

Not that it mattered what Poe’s previous love life was like since this whole thing was a farce, but Rey was actually getting offended. Ben was talking about Poe who had no chance to defend himself, as if Poe was already determined to be a terrible person and boyfriend, jury, judge, and executioner being Ben and the case being closed. She wasn’t sure where this anger really stemmed from and frankly, she didn’t care. Because he had no right to deter her from any romantic exploits, even if this one was just fake. Why should it matter who she dated?

“So he dated around? Big deal. It’s different now. You of all people should know how things we did in the past shouldn’t determine what we do or how we’re seen in our futures.”

That got Ben to pause and finally look at her straight in the eyes. Then he scoffed. “You think that I’m talking about us?”

“No,” she replied, crossing her arms. _Maybe_. “But I have a point.”

“You do, sure. But I know Poe Dameron. I’ve seen him with women. He’ll love you now but he’ll move on eventually when Hollywood moves onto someone else. You’re just the hot, new thing right now but it’s not going to last. He'll get bored like always.”

Instead of doing what she wanted to do, which was to push Ben as hard as she could and cause his drunk ass to stumble, Rey walked away angrily without saying another word. It took a few seconds for her to hear footsteps coming up behind her. He was reaching for her hand.

And he was saying, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’m so sorry.”

She spun around quickly. “You did mean it. You’re really trying to hurt me and I don’t understand why. You’re happy, you’re with someone and you’re getting _married_. Why is it that you’re trying to hurt me? You made me go up there and perform, Ben. Like a fucking puppet. Like we worked for you. I am an actress. I have a career. And you just exploited what I do for a living, for what? To hurt me? To remind me what I missed out on? And now you’re trying to attack my relationship with Poe because _you_ don’t like it?”

“I’m trying to protect you,” he gritted through his teeth. “You’re the one thing I’ve ever cared about more than myself. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“It’s too late for that now,” Rey said, fighting her tears. “You’ve hurt me worse than he could.”

_Because I love you more than I could ever love anyone else. Because you make me feel emotions 100 times more than how I should feel them._

“Rey…”

“Your fiance’s probably waiting for you,” she said as she walked away from him. She made her way back to the main room but in her angry haste, she collided with someone again.

Another Solo man.

Han.

Han grabbed her by the shoulders to steady her as she tried to hide the fact that tears were threatening to spill down her face. “Woah, woah, woah. Rey, are you okay? What happened?”

“Nothing,” she assured him. “Nothing, Han. Just—”

Han looked up as steps neared them and he narrowed his eyes at his son. Looking back down at Rey, he asked gently, “What do you need?”

“Nothing,” she repeated. She finally got her bearings. “I think it’s time to go home. I’m going to get Poe and—”

“Yes but go tell Leia goodbye first. We’ll see you after your show tomorrow?”

Rey smiled. “Yes, yes of course. Thank you. For a nice evening.”

Han kissed the top of her head and allowed her to pass. As she hastily walked away she could hear Han’s voice thundering in the hallway. She could picture his finger pointed at his son. “ _What are you doing, Ben? I thought I told you to leave her alone now that…”_

Rey didn’t stick around to hear anything else that the father and son would be saying to each other. Instead, she put on her brave face and approached Leia, who was sitting at her table feeding a fluffy dog.

“Oh, Rey, honey, you remember Chewie right?”

“Oh, how could I forget?” Rey sat down in the empty seat next to Chewie and rubbed his ears. He was definitely much older looking now after she hadn’t seen him for so long. “Leia, I think I’m calling it a night. Big day tomorrow and all.”

“Of course, dear. Thank you for being here tonight, for Ben. He only ever wanted you to be beside him for the big moments in his life.”

“And embarrass me in front of his peers?” she teased, running her hand through Chewie’s soft fur.

“I hope you don’t get into too much trouble for that,” Leia said. “I know contracts are a tricky thing but maybe it’ll increase ticket sales. Opening week is booked but maybe the publicity will sell out the rest of the run.”

“We can only hope,” Rey admitted with a sad smile. She was also amazed at how much Leia seemed to know about her show. _Is she keeping track of me?_ “I’m…not worried. Not really. But I’ll deal with the repercussions in the morning.”

Leia leaned closer to lay a hand gently on Rey’s cheek. She softened into her touch, feeling like she was back in her teenage years asking Leia for advice on school and work and _boys (or maybe just one boy)_ and wished she could get this guidance back in her life regularly. “You are stronger than you know, my sweet Rey. Your life is just beginning.”

Rey placed a kiss on Leia’s knuckles and said her goodbye. She found Poe talking to an older gentleman across the room and approached slowly, placing her hand on his back to indicate her presence.

“Ah, my love. There you are. This is Mr. Snoke,” Poe gestured to the greying man he was speaking to. Poe’s eyes held some alarm, non-verbally telling Rey to be careful, as she extended her hand for the other man to shake. “Mr. Snoke, this is Rey Niima.”

Snoke seemed to look at her hand for a couple of seconds, as if to examine if her hands were clean, before taking her hand in his in a firm grip. She returned its firmness.

“The leading lady,” he said in a slow drawl. “Have we met before? You look oddly familiar.”

_You went to one of my shows. Maybe you weren’t paying attention_. “If you’ve attended a show in the past few years, I may have been in one of them. But otherwise, no sir.”

“Hmm…” he contemplated for a second. “I don’t recall having the time to indulge in one of your performances. You are…quite memorable.”

_Obviously not._ “Thank you, sir. That’s very kind.” She turned her attention to Poe. “I think it’s time we leave, babe. We’ll have some meetings in the morning, I’m sure.”

Poe laughed and grasped her hand. “I’m sure. Thank you for your time, Mr. Snoke. I believe at this point you see my father more often than I do so please tell him hello for me.”

“Of course, my boy,” Snoke replied, a smirk on his face. “Nice meeting you, Ms. Niima.”

“Likewise sir,” she said with a fake smile on her face. As she and Poe turned away from her, she tried to sneak a glance over to Poe as if to say _what the hell was that_ but Snoke’s voice behind them cause them to turn attention back.

“I remember now, Miss Niima,” Snoke was saying as he approached them. “Dear Benjamin was very adamant about seeing this one particular show. I thought it may have been to watch the pretty blonde that was the star. It seems as though he was more interested in seeing some supporting actress.”

Rey held her jaw strong. She would not be baited into reacting and making a scene here. “ _Legally Blonde_ , sir. Thank you for remembering.”

Rey’s hold on Poe’s arm may have been a little too hard as she led the way out of the ballroom and toward the exit. They stayed quiet as they waited for the valet to return with Poe’s car. Only when they were both safely in the car and driving away did Poe interrupt the silence.

“So…was that a _Bad Idea?_ ”

That got Rey to smile. _Bad Idea_ was the name of the sensual duet between their two characters. Immediately in a better mood, Rey replied singing, “ _It was a pretty good bad idea, wasn’t it though?_ ”

* * *

Rey was bracing herself for the inevitable anger and issues that would result in hers and Poe’s impromptu performance of a song they hadn’t yet premiered on Broadway. As she drove to morning rehearsal the morning after Ben’s engagement party, she was full of nerves. Not of their opening performance that night – but for what the producers of _Waitress_ would be saying to her and Poe.

_Can they fire us this soon before the show?_

_Well I guess that’s why there are understudies._

_It’s okay, I can try to find work until the press tour starts for The Resistance._

_But what if all of the casting directors see that I was fired from a Broadway show before it premiered because I did something against the contract?_

_Was it against the contract?_

Rey’s mind continued to race until she found herself entering the main rehearsal hall and was met with loud clapping from the cast and crew. All of them. Everyone was smiling and cheering and she couldn’t help but feel relieved.

Rose approached her first, running into her arms and giving her a strong hug. “I can’t believe you did that at his engagement party.”

“More like him doing that to me,” Rey whispered in her ear. “I didn’t have much of a choice. He put us on the spot.”

When Rose pulled away, the show’s director Gwen Phasma was waiting behind her. She had a smile on her face which Rey rarely ever saw from their formidable leader.

“Everyone’s talking about that party last night,” Phasma was saying as she pulled Rey into a hug. _This is even weirder than a smile_ , Rey thought. “And not because Ben Solo is hot or Bazine Netal is beautiful. Because of our two stars’ little performance.”

“And…that’s good?” Rey asked nervously, looking around everyone’s smiling faces. _Maybe I’m being Punk’d_.

“My dear, it’s wonderful,” Phasma told her. “A little sneak preview caused ticket sales to go up overnight. We’re nearly sold out for the entire run. There’s talks of extending the duration for another week but they’ve made such a big deal of the finale show already that changing it up on people who’ve already bought tickets wouldn’t be fair.”

Rey agreed with that as Phasma continued. “It’s on Youtube, Instagram, Twitter, _everywhere_. Someone told me that your Instagrams doubled in followers, whatever that means. Even people who’ve never paid attention to Broadway or musicals have taken notice. They keep talking about how talented you and Poe are. That you two are obviously so in love and how cute you two look together.”

“Aren’t we just the cutest couple?”

Poe was met with the same thunderous applause that Rey was. He smiled at everyone before coming up to Rey, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Everyone’s going to love watching us fall in love with each other every night.”

“Well they think we’re already in love,” Rey said, bumping his hip with hers.

“You guys _are_ dating right?” The question was asked by one of the background dancers, his smile palpable. He was watching Rey and Poe like they were the equivalent of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston in the early 2000s.

Rey and Poe glanced at each other, not sure of what to say. They agreed to pretend for Ben’s engagement party, and until Ben was married, but were they supposed to keep this charade going even away from anything wedding related?

“Um…”

“Their personal lives are none of our concern,” Phasma told the waiting crowd. “Just as long as it doesn’t interfere with the show.”

“Of course not,” the pair said in unison.

“Well then, let’s get ready for tonight!”

Poe and Rey were pulled two different directions, their hands parting like two lovers being pulled away from each other on the Titanic.

* * *

Opening was approaching and Rey sat quietly in her dressing room, making sure her costume was on properly. Checking her mic for the millionth time, she made her way out to do the group’s pre-show ritual. She could smell the freshly baked pies that the venue had around and were selling slices of, making it seem as though the guests were actually entering a diner with the most delectable pies.

She took her place behind the curtain. She took a deep breath. As the curtain opened, so did she.

“ _Sugar,_

_Sugar.”_

Rey’s mind was racing with thoughts, I made it, I’m here, I’m starring on _Broadway._ This is my moment.

_“Sugar, butter._

_Sugar, butter,_

_Sugar, butter, flour…”_

She finally looked up, she’s in the middle of the kitchen. The spotlight is on her.

“ _My hands pluck the things I know that I’ll need. I take the sugar and butter from the pantry. I add the flour to begin what I am hoping to start. And then it’s down with the recipe and bake from the heart._

_“Sugar…._

I’m really doing this.

_“And butter…”_

This isn’t a dream.

_“And flour…”_

A star.

_“And mother…”_

On Broadway.

The ensemble joins her on vocals now, still hidden, helping with the harmonies.

“ _What’s inside? Everyone wants to know what’s inside and I always tell them. But I feel more than words can say. You wanna know what’s inside? Simple question, so then what’s the answer? My whole life is in here…in this kitchen baking._

_“What a mess I’m making.”_

“Jenna! What’s the special pie today?”

And they’re off.

* * *

Rey was tired, sweaty, covered in thick makeup. The clothes she was wearing were not her own, but Jenna’s, like the ones she would see worn by waitresses in New York City diners. Except these clothes were _made_ to look worn. They were custom clothes made to look as if she was the owner of the rebranded Lulu’s Diner.

But she was smiling brightly, her arms holding several bouquets of flowers, as her castmates led her backstage after their curtain call. They were all squealing in excitement after completing their first show which went even better than any of them could’ve imagined.

Once Rey was finally able to go into her dressing room after receiving and giving praise every which way to every cast and crew member she could see, she was met with a dressing room completely covered in bunches of daisies.

It was hard to see anything among the white and yellow, the fresh floral scent masking what she knew was her sweat from several hours of vigorous performing.

_Did someone mean to do this in another dressing room? Is one of the cast getting engaged?_

A knock came behind her from her still-open door. Standing there were the only parents she ever had.

“Incredible!” Leia was exclaiming as she pulled Rey into a strong hug. Han followed suit to complete it. “My goodness Rey, you were transcendent up there. Just a star! Your voice! Your acting! Your dancing! My god, you and your boyfriend! We couldn’t even recognize the two of you from last night, it was like you were two completely different people!”

“They’re actors, Princess,” Han teased. “But really though, Rey. I haven’t seen a lot of stage productions but I’ve never experienced anything like that. And I’ve flown many planes and almost died many times.”

“Well thanks for comparing the show to a near-death experience,” Rey laughed, accepting more hugs. “Are these from you two?”

“And Ben,” Leia said happily. Rey and Han’s eyes met for a brief second. “He reminded us that daisies are your favorite. He thought it’d be a lovely surprise to return to after your opening night.”

“It’s all so lovely,” she said, looking around at the garden. “Admittedly I’ll be sharing the wealth and handing them out to the cast and crew, if that’s okay with you. My apartment can only handle so many flowers.”

“Of course, my dear.” Leia grasped her hands. “We are so glad we could be here for you. Seeing you accomplish your dreams was always something we wanted. Ben was also here but—”

“He’ll be seeing the show tomorrow,” Han interjected. “Bazine will be accompanying him.”

Rey nodded to him. Han seemed to be warning her of something and she decided to tread carefully. “Please tell him that I don’t need _any_ additional flowers.”

Han winked and she felt her body ease.

“We will be seeing you at the get together planned for the wedding party and families right?” Leia asked her hopefully. “I want to make sure we have plans to meet again before we part ways again for six years.”

Rey blushed, looking away. _Damn, she was always so blunt. But it wasn’t my fault. It’s not like you guys ever reached out either._ “I…I guess it depends on when it is. My schedule’s a bit tied up at the moment.”

“I’ll have my assistant send you the details if Ben hasn’t already,” Leia was saying, typing away at her phone. “You’d think he’d be able to keep up with details like this one, you _are_ his Best Man.”

“Yeah,” Rey replied sheepishly. “Best Man.”

“Best everything,” Han said sincerely, taking her into his arms again. “The very best he ever had.”

The last sentence was said softly in her ear, Rey froze, unable to respond or even keep a blank face.

The couple left Rey in the room covered in daisies, leaving her to change her clothes back to her regular ones. Before leaving the room as Rey again, she went to brush her hair out and put it up in a ponytail. A note was left in one of the bunches of daisies left on her vanity.

It read:

” _Like a river flows, surely to the sea_

_Darling, so it goes, some things are meant to be”_

And it was obvious who this particular bunch of flowers was from.


	10. November 2019 Part IV

_November 2019_

The cast and crew of _Waitress_ really knew how to throw a party. It wasn’t anything lavish or large, just a good-sized bar that they’ve commandeered as their own for the night. It was quite the juxtaposition from where she was last night, the Met’s culinary team serving the most expensive drinks and food known to man.

Rey was avoiding drinking any alcohol or sugary drinks, her ritual when she’s on a show’s run on Broadway, opting for hot tea that the bar surprisingly served. Beside her was Poe, slowly nursing a beer, his arm hanging over the back of her chair. The attention was pointed to him as he told a story.

_Man, he really is a leading man. Just look at how he commandeers a room._

“Isn’t that right, my love?”

Rey blinked and found herself blushing. “I’m so sorry babe, I wasn’t paying attention.”

Everyone around them stared laughing. Rey threw her best apology face to her fake boyfriend but received a kiss on the cheek anyways.

“I was telling them about how much I love _RENT_ the musical.”

“Oh, yes! He will not stop singing _La vie Boheme._ And he’s everyone in the song.”

The discussion continued around her as she checked out, sipping her tea again. Everyone so easily believed that she and Poe were a couple. She couldn’t keep track of how many times she’s been told how cute and perfect they were together. All except Rose who Rey promised to tell about the whole act.

Everyone believed them. But for some reason Ben didn’t seem to. Sure, Ben knew Poe at a different time. That tends to skew biases a bit. But why did it matter so much to him? Why did he care? Rey could’ve easily turned things around on him, letting him know the rumors she’d heard about the Netal sisters in high school, but she didn’t. Because it didn’t matter. Why try to deter him from a choice he’s already made?

_Her. He chose her._

So why did it matter what her choice was?

It was the thought that lingered in her mind as she wandered through her apartment, methodically doing her nightly routine. Plug-in phone, put it on Do Not Disturb, put on sleep clothes, take medicine, use the bathroom to wash her face with her dermatologist crafted products and brush her teeth longer than the recommended two minutes.

She settled in bed, feeling her muscles thank her for finally allowing them to rest. She turned her head to her bedside table where her phone was to see she’d just gotten a notification. It was an email alert and its subject was JOIN US AT THE ORGANA-SOLO HOME.

It was an invitation to the “little” get together that Leia had mentioned earlier, the one for families and the wedding party to spend time together. It was in a few weeks, closer to the end of November, during Thanksgiving weekend. It was for a Saturday morning, started early enough that Rey could theoretically attend but would have to leave early from to ensure that she’d be at dress rehearsal on time for the Saturday night show.

She could make up an excuse, saying that there’s something going on that morning, but she really wanted to see Leia and Han again. Maybe Luke would be there. Maybe even Ben’s pseudo Uncle Lando. She also hadn’t been at their home for a long time, maybe some of the staff would still remember her – the girl they’d fed when she’d arrive from being kicked out of her foster dad’s home for some petty reason. The one they’d made the spare bed for in the guest room near Ben’s room. They called her Ms. Rey despite all of her protests to just be _Rey_. But she was always just _Rey._ Being Ms. Rey, albeit a bit indulgent, was nice.

But it wouldn’t just be a party with Han and Leia and Chewie. Bazine’s family would be there and even if Rey held no bad feelings for Bazine, she wasn’t particularly fond of her sister Sebastienne. And she remembered that the two had a lot of cousins as well. She really didn’t want to be surrounded by beautiful men and women – she’d experience that enough during obligatory parties related to work.

She was trying to think of an excuse before replying ‘Maybe’ to the event that Leia forwarded to her. As she thought, laying in the soft darkness of her bedroom, her phone started to vibrate. Since she was actively using her phone, the phone call didn’t go straight to voicemail as it would on Do Not Disturb. No, her phone was ringing and Ben was calling her and he’d know if she screened his call.

She could pretend that she was already asleep which was entirely plausible. But the thought of having his voice permanently in a message on her phone made her answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“….”

“It’s late…” Rey said awkwardly, glancing at the clock in her room. _1:23 AM_.

“I’m sorry, I know. I just--”

Rey waited. She could almost hear the gears turning in his head.

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior from last night. From Friday night, I mean.”

_How proper_. “’Apologize for your behavior?’ Ben, you were telling me that my boyfriend’s a terrible person. At _your_ engagement party. After you made us _perform_.”

“I can’t defend anything that I did last night. I was an asshole to you. You were right, whatever Poe did in his past shouldn’t matter now. If you two are happy together then that’s all that matters. You looked really happy and I…am happy for you.”

She wasn’t sure what to say. She was still hurt, upset, and confused as to why that had been Ben’s reaction to seeing her with Poe. This apology was nice, necessary, but she needed to know _why_ he did it if she was going to continue being around him and his fiancé in order to be there on the day of their wedding.

“I get that you’re concerned, Ben,” she started slowly. “But you really hurt me. Not only did you tell me that my relationship wouldn’t last, you basically told me that the only reason he was with me is because I’m some new shit.”

“I’ve seen Poe with other people before and I thought that that gave me a reason to tell you why I’m concerned that you’ll get hurt but it’s—”

“None of your business.”

“None of my business,” Ben agreed. “It doesn’t matter if you’re an actress or any other job. You’re _you._ Always so kind and strong and beautiful. You make people feel everything with your smile and your laugh and your talent. Just being _you_ is why people fall in love with you, like I—”

Rey was glad she was already in bed because she would’ve fallen over. _Like you what, Ben? Like you what??_

_Like you love me?_

_Now?_

_Or you used to?_

_Do I want to know?_

But he said nothing. She would’ve thought that the call dropped had it not been for the fact that Ben’s name still flashed on his phone. She knew that she would never get the rest of that sentence. But she wasn’t the one who called, she wasn’t the one who should work to continue this conversation. It was past 1 AM anyways, the night after her opening night, so if she just wanted to be silent to be petty, she could be.

The clock hit 1:28 AM. They still hadn’t said anything after Ben’s abrupt ending to his sentence. Until.

“I got your note,” she said quietly, picking at some thread on her comforter. “In the flowers. I knew it what you. Because of the lyrics.”

“I’m glad you saw it,” he replied instantly. “And remembered our song. That's still our song right?"

"Well we don't have any other ones."

"The flowers were pretty overkill, weren’t they?”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah and that’s an understatement. But the cast and crew appreciated it.”

“You didn’t keep them?”

“Ben, there were thousands. How was I supposed to keep all of them?”

“…Did you at least keep some?”

“I kept the one left on my vanity, the one with your note,” she assured him. “Just…no more flowers? Okay? I felt like I was walking into a dream and some guy was proposing.”

“Random guy? Don’t you mean Poe?”

_Shit_. “I mean, it wasn’t well thought out. I’d just gotten off stage and going to get cleaned up and boom- a greenhouse.”

“Right, right,” he laughed. “Marriage is probably not on your itinerary any time soon.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Nevermind, it’s nothing. I keep putting my foot in my mouth. Maybe we shouldn’t have talks this late at night.”

“Well you called me so…”

“I know, Rey. I know. I was just thinking of you. I didn’t know if you’d answer. I figured I’d leave you a voicemail since it’s my turn to do that.”

She rolled her eyes. “Okay, okay, _Prom King_. I have to get some sleep. Two shows tomorrow and all.”

“I’ll be there tomorrow night,” he said. “I promised Bazine I’d take her to see you and Poe. She was a big fan of your performance.”

“I’ll see you two tomorrow then. Please thank her for me.”

“I will.”

“And Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“I forgive you, for what you said. Guess you were just…caught up in everything happening yesterday, right? I mean, there was a lot going on.”

She heard him sigh. “Thank you, Rey. I can’t do any of this without you. I really want you to be around for all of this. Be the one who will keep me sane when there’s all this talk about venues or table settings or _flowers_ or the seating arrangement, god, it’s already started Rey. Why can’t we just elope, you know?”

_We._

“I don’t know if Bazine’s family would let that happen. Or your parents. But you should really just do what you want to do. And what Bazine wants to do.”

“She wants a big wedding,” he said. “She didn’t want the engagement party but she wants the fairytale wedding. As much as I hate all this planning, I’m doing it for her. And you being there is going to make it so much more tolerable.”

“Well I guess I’m glad to be of service,” she replied. “I have to go to sleep.”

“Of course, right. Goodnight, Rey.”

“Night Ben.”

* * *

The matinee show went by quickly, just as good as the first time, and Rey was sitting on the couch in her dressing room with an assortment of food laid out in front of the coffee table. She and Rose were getting their rest and food before their second show of the day. Rey wasn’t sure she would be able to handle two shows in one day but even after the first performance, she knew it would be a breeze.

Sure she’ll be exhausted and sleep deprived and her muscles would demand all of the rest but it didn’t matter. She’d be ready each time. This is what she was meant to do. Perform, sing, act, and dance. Amaze the audience with her talent. Give them an unparalleled experience. Make them forget their lives existed outside of this venue even if just for a few hours.

Remember her name.

Love her.

All she ever wanted was for people to love her. _Someone_ to love her.

“Everyone loves you, Rey,” Rose assured her. “The people you work with. You have _so many_ fans. Your Instagram blew up after your performance with Poe. Those comments, even if some of them are gross and unhealthy, are mostly people telling you how talented you are. Asking why you’re not a bigger name. They want more of you, Rey. They don’t even know what’s coming at them with everything you’re doing now. They _love_ you.”

“So why does it feel like I’m still missing something?” Rey asked, sitting back on the velvet couch. “I have everything I ever wanted. I’m doing what I worked so hard to do. I have friends and this life I could’ve never imagined when I was just that kid in the foster system. Rey from 20 years ago wouldn’t still be wondering what else she wanted in life.”

Rose gave her a pointed look. “Girl, you know the answer to this.”

“And I know that it’s not the right answer for me, for him, for everyone.”

“Then…you have to work on moving on. Rey, if you really think that you and Ben aren’t going to end up together then you can’t keep beating yourself up about it. You have to let it go. Even if it takes time. But you need to let yourself find happiness, too. It may not be what you were looking for but sometimes it’s the things we weren’t looking for that’s meant to be.”

Before Rey could offer to pay Rose for this therapy session, a knock interrupted their conversation. She loudly said a ‘come in’ and a PA opened the door slowly, keeping it only just open enough for his head to pop through.

“Miss Niima, you have guests,” he was saying nervously. “Would you like them to come in?”

“Of course, BB,” she smiled, hoping to make her set PA a bit more comfortable around her. She’d given him the endearing nickname of BB-8, which he sheepishly accepted, when he’d introduced himself as Brendan Bailey the _eighth._ “And please call me Rey.”

“It’s a habit, Miss Niima,” he told her as he opened the door further.

Rey was wearing loose sweatpants and a skin-tight white tank top that she usually had on underneath her costumes. She was brushing off crumbs from her lap when she looked up to see the two people she really didn’t want to be seeing right now when she looked like a gremlin who'd just spent hours dancing and singing and was now gorging on food.

Bazine was stepping into the dressing room, dressed just as immaculately as she did for her engagement party, in all bridal white. Ben was following behind her, dressed a bit more casually than usual with dark jeans and a dark sweater, a long maroon jacket completing the outfit.

“Damn,” she heard Rose whisper beside her.

“Shh.”

“Rey,” the gorgeous woman was walking towards her, a bouquet of the most expensive flowers in her one arm, and the other was reaching to give her a hug. Rey did her best not to get too close, afraid that whatever she was eating would end up on Bazine’s all white everything. “Sorry for interrupting your break!”

“No, no, that’s fine,” Rey said, waving her hand. “It’s so nice to see you. Thank you for being here.”

“Of course! After you and Poe performed for us at the party, I just _had_ to drag Ben here to his first Broadway play.”

Rey’s eyebrows raised at this and she looked at him, still hovering near the door, a caught look on his face. _So you haven’t told her that you’ve been to Broadway shows? And that you were here last night, since your mom wasn’t so subtle about that piece of information?_

“I hope you’ll enjoy the show. This is my good friend and one of the stars, Rose Tico.”

Rose, ever the eager person to be part of whatever drama was going on in that moment, shook Bazine’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Tico? Are you related to Paige Tico?” Bazine asked.

“Yes, that’s my sister,” Rose replied. “She was actually working on another project with Rey recently.”

“The one in Prague?” Ben asked behind them. Everyone’s heads turned to him.

“Yeah, that one,” she said to him without looking at anyone else.

“Why do you ask?” Rose piped up, breaking the tension.

“I took an acting class with her a long time ago,” Bazine admitted. “I don’t know if she’d remember me. There was a lot of people in the class.”

“You’re an actress too?” Rey was sure Rose didn’t mean for it to sound so accusatory but her mind was interpreting everything every which way right now.

“Aspriring actress,” Bazine smiled. “I could never do Broadway though. I can’t sing at all. Ben would agree. Wouldn’t you honey?”

“We all can’t be talented like these two ladies here.”

“Ain’t that the truth?” BB squeaked, inadvertently altering everyone that he was still in the room. “I mean, excuse me.” He embarrassedly made his way out of the door, almost running into the person standing in the doorway. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry Mr. Dameron.”

“BB, it’s all good.” Rey couldn’t see Poe from where she was standing but she was sure that BB wouldn’t be talking to the New York District Attorney, Poe’s father. “Is Rey in there?”

“Yes, with guests.”

“Guests, huh?” Poe finally entered the room, unfazed at the presence of Rey’s guests. “Wow, we have a party going on here?”  
  


“Poe!” Bazine walked over to give him the same hug she’d given Rey. This gave Rey the moment to put a robe over her clothes and tie it around the waist. She wouldn’t focus on the fact that she could see Ben staring at her from her peripheral vision.

Bazine and Poe were off in their own conversation as Rey and Rose stood awkwardly near the couch and Ben hovered near Rey’s vanity. Rey watched as Ben looked over to touch the vase of daisies standing there in a clear vase. He picked at the note he’d left behind.

“See, Ben! I told you she’d love to get flowers,” Bazine said, gesturing to the flowers. She gently handed them over to Rey. “Ben had the silly idea that you wouldn’t want any flowers tonight. We’ve seen so many flowers backstage! And this beautiful bouquet here in your dressing room.”

“I merely thought that she’d be given so many flowers already, there would be no reason to add onto them,” Ben tried explaining himself. Rey knew the truth as to why he'd be so adamant that she didn't need more flowers. _Cause of you, you idiot._

“These are lovely, Bazine, thank you,” Rey said, looking back and forth between the lovely woman and her nervous looking fiancé. “I do enjoy flowers. The amount from opening night was overwhelming though. Like I was drowning in them.”

Whatever was left of Ben’s smile dropped. Bazine continued nonetheless. “Well we’ll let you get back to your rest here. It was so nice to meet you, Rose. And so nice to see you again, Rey. Poe. We’ll see you after?”

“I’ll be here,” Rey said. “Thanks for everything.”

“You don’t have to thank us, Rey. Oh, we’re basically going to be like sisters soon! Since Ben has been saying how much of a sister you’ve been to him when you guys were younger, I just know that we’ll have a close relationship too.”

“Right, yes,” Rey nodded. “Of course. I’d like that.”

“Break a leg!” Bazine grabbed Ben’s hand and the pair walked out of the dressing room.

Rose was the first to act, putting her arms up and saying, “Okay, what the hell was that?”

“Siblings, eh?” Poe said next in a teasing manner. “Looks like Solo’s not telling her the whole story.”

“Those flowers are from him,” Rey finally said, placing Bazine’s bouquet beside Ben’s. “He had the dressing room covered in daisies. That’s why everyone got flowers yesterday.”

Poe laughed at this. “You gave away the flowers he meant for you? That’s some symbolism shit right there.”

Rey plopped down in her dressing chair and let out an exasperated sigh. “What am I going to do now?”

Poe placed his hands over her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. Reassuringly he said, “We give them a hell of a show.”

Rey wasn’t sure if Poe was kissing her a bit more passionately during this show but it couldn’t have been just a coincidence.


	11. November 2019 Part V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so grateful for all of your comments and kudos. Thanks for taking your time to read this. It's has been such a blast so far.

_Late November 2019_

Rey got used to her routine. Almost every night she’d have a show, except for Tuesdays and Fridays, with two shows on Sundays. On her free nights she’d either hang out with Rose, hang out with Poe (in a completely platonic way), work out for hours with her trainer Jyn, or completely rearrange her apartment. Basically making up excuses to _not_ accept any of Ben’s and Bazine’s invitations for double dates with Poe and her.

Well, Bazine would suggest double dates. Ben would ask if she wanted to have dinner with him, just him, without Poe or Bazine. He’d suggest Maz’s, or some place near where he worked, and he’d even started to suggest places that were near the theater. Like some creep.

It’d start off casually. Normal he’d ask her how her day was, how her last show was, compliment her on something new he’d remembered about the show.

_Do you guys actually use liquid when you’re pouring coffee? How is the stage not just covered with fake coffee?_

_Cause we’re professionals, you idiot,_ she’d want to say but never does.

_I love that there’s such a big age range in the show._

_Well performers are all ages, Ben…_ again something she’d want to say but never does.

_It must be nice to get to perform with the person you love every night. Like falling in love all over again._

_It’s cause being professionals, you goddamn idiot._

Once again, she’d never say it. But man, did she want to.

Rey has pretended to be in love plenty of times. Through shows and commercials and even in Nolan’s new movie where she inevitably had to portray a tinge of romance. It was something she wasn’t super happy about, wanting the performance to just be about her strong character rather than her performance being tied to her chemistry with a co-star. There wasn’t any sort of love scene, not even a kiss, but it was something alluded with her character Kira and Cassian, Finn’s character. She was secretly hoping Nolan found a way to not include any of those scenes where they were caught looking at each other.

So she’s pretended to be in love many times. But she’s only been in love once, truly, in her life. And she wondered if there was any possible way she’d stop being in love with that person and allow herself to love someone else, like Rose had suggested.

There’d be days when Rey felt that Poe was kissing her a bit deeper on stage or he would hold her a bit tighter when they were out in public, and she imagined herself allowing her feelings to be real for him. Just like the night she and Poe had to perform at the engagement party, she would berate herself to _melt into it, believe it, imagine the butterflies in her stomach_. Sometimes she did convince herself that she truly, romantically liked Poe.

It wouldn’t last long though. Because inevitably there’d be a text or an email from the one man she ever truly loved, and she’d forget Poe again.

Unfortunately, when Rey had told Poe about the party that Leia had arranged for the wedding party and the bride’s and groom’s families, he had to tell her that he wouldn’t be in town until just a few hours before that night’s show. Since it was Thanksgiving weekend he wanted to surprise his parents by attending their yearly Thanksgiving event and stay a few days. He’d be back for the weekend shows.

Rey was resigned to go stag then. _Solo_ , if you will. So when she pulled up to the Organa-Solo estate in Long Island in her fancy G-Wagon (her dream car that she managed to splurge on just a year ago), she felt lonelier than ever.

She got out of her vehicle right in front of the massive entrance, surprised that the butler she’d been so fond of wasn’t there to drive her car into one of the large garages. But right as she walked up the brick stairs, she saw the man she was just thinking about.

“Oh, Miss Niima, I am so sorry I was not here to greet you and open your door! My apologies!”

Rey broke out into a smile and ran to give the older man a hug. He’d always been a bit robotic, extremely polite, quite lanky and frail, but he hugged like no other.

“C3PO,” she laughed. “You haven’t changed one bit.”

“And I must say, madam, you’ve only just become more beautiful.”

“Okay, okay, you can stop flirting with our guest C3.”

C3PO jumped out of her arms and started embarrassingly uttered all of the apologies he could manage before accepting Rey’s keys and shuffling away, still muttering all of the apologies. Rey called out a “thank you” behind him before turning to the person who interrupted the reunion she just had.

“Was that necessary? You’re going to give him a heart attack,” Rey had her hands on her hips as she chastised Ben, who seemed really pleased with himself as he leaned against the doorway.

“Hello to you too,” he only said. He offered his hand to her.

Rey merely walked around him, into the home, and it felt like she’d never left. Her feet took her to the large kitchen which was attached to one of the many living areas, leaving Ben behind. The party had started without her ( _thank god)_ and she caught a familiar face in the corner tinkering with some toy.

“Is this R2-D2?” Rey asked as she approached.

The man rose from his knees slowly and grinned at her. “I was wondering if you’d actually show up.”

She fought the urge to roll her eyes and instead said, “Hey Luke,” wrapping her arms around his neck. “It’s so nice to see you.”

“Likewise, kid,” he replied. “How did you know about R2?”

“Oh, uh, Ben told me about it.”

Luke’s eyebrows raised and Rey playfully slapped his shoulder. “Ben, eh? That’s interesting. I’ve just met his fiancé this morning and she’d never heard of my little droid before.”

“A lot of people don’t understand your eccentricities, Luke,” she teased, leaning down to the droid. It turned its head(?) to her and beeped.

“I'm Rey Niima, nice to meet you.”

R2-D2 extended a robotic arm from its cylindrical body for Rey to shake. She did so with some hesitation. “It knows what I said?”

“Technology is fascinating, my girl,” Luke said above her. “If you spend more time with him you’ll eventually understand its language.”

“Language? It’s just beeping.”

“Anything can be a language. Sounds, noises, beeps. That’s all we do anyways. Make sounds, noises, and beeps. Give it enough time, something becomes a language. R2 is just creating his own.”

Rey stood up and gave Luke a strange look. “And how many hours did it take for R2 to develop a language?”

“He’s not done yet,” Luke winked. Rey laughed. “You’re missing the festivities outside. We’re in the middle of breakfast but I’d made an excuse to escape.”

Luke started leading her out to the back patio. “What was the excuse?” she asked.

“I was waiting for you, of course. I wanted our first meeting after six years to not be around so many people that we both don’t know or like.”

Rey stopped them abruptly just as they reached the door to the back patio. She could see the large group sitting around a circular table, surrounded by elaborate plate settings and flowers, and _so-not-Ben-approved._ “Luke, I’m sorry that –”

“Rey, why are you apologizing?”

“Because I lost touch with all of you after –”

Luke took a hold of Rey’s hands and held them softly. “Rey, none of us blamed you for leaving. We understand. But please remember now, it doesn’t matter that Ben is our blood relative and you are not. You are our family and you’ve always been.”

“But Leia—”

“My sister birthed that child so forgive her for being partial to him,” Luke said. “It took a long time for the truth to come out about what happened between the two of you and believe me when I tell you that Leia did everything she could to make it up to you from afar.”

Rey’s eyes enlarged. “She didn’t…interfere with my career, did she?”

“No, no, nothing like that. That apartment you have though, you got a great deal on it. It was our father’s, back in the day. But I’ll tell you more about that later. Come on, they’ll be wondering if I ran away.”

Rey agreed to pocket the conversation for another time and allowed Luke to lead her out to the pack of wolves waiting to devour her. Everyone’s heads turned at the same time when the door shut behind them, and a mix of genuine and non-genuine ‘hellos’ came her way.

“Hi everyone,” she waved nervously, trying to focus on faces she knew.

“Rey!” Bazine was out of her seat quickly and ran over to give her the customary welcome hug. Bazine looked different today, a bit less harsh looking with her floral dress and curly hair. She was definitely more relaxed looking and less formal than the last time she’d seen her. “I’m so glad you could make it. I know you’re so busy.”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Rey faked. “Thanks for having me.”

“Well, of course! The Best Man has to be here! Well, Best Woman? Wait, no.”

“Let’s settle with Best Friend,” Ben suggested as he approached. He wrapped an arm around Bazine’s waist and pulled her close. “The Best Friend.”

“Perfect,” Rey said cheerfully, acting her ass off. “I have a few others to meet so if you excuse me.”

“Oh, we can just do a big introduction!” Bazine was turning her to present her to the guests, most of whom were her own family members. Rey recognized plenty of them from when Sebastienne was in her class in high school, but she really didn’t need to know all of their names individually. Bazine had the right idea to do the introduction this way.

“Everyone, please meet Rey Niima, Ben’s Best Friend for the wedding. Rey, please meet my family. My parents and sister—” she pointed to two equally harsh looking people and to the familiar Sebastienne “—my cousins—” who were carbon copies of Bazine herself (men and women), “—my aunts and uncles—” is this ever going to end? “—my grandparents—” guess not? “and of course Ben’s family.”

None of Bazine’s family got up to meet her, which she was perfectly okay with. She took her seat in the only empty spot, thankfully next to Luke, and was immediately served a plate.

“Thank you C3PO,” she smiled brightly at him.

“I’ve left out the peppers, Miss Niima,” the ever polite man said with a nod.

“Thank you for remembering my particular food choices.”

With another embarrassed nod, C3PO went to check on the other guests. Rey wasn’t really all that hungry, losing her appetite on the way here when she thought about what socializing she’d have to be subjected to here. But she figured that this may be her only solid meal of the day aside from a quick bite prior to tonight’s show, so she dug in anyways.

Everyone around her was discussing the wedding. Whether it would be in New York or in the Los Angeles property Bazine’s family had. Maybe even in Martha’s Vineyard where they could be afforded a bit more privacy. Bazine and her cousins were animatedly talking about what color scheme it should be ( _well if it’s in the Fall it’ll have to have some reds, you know? But a Spring wedding would be so nice and beautiful! Imagine all the flowers you could have!)_

Rey found herself taking a refill of the orange and champagne that Luke had passed over to her once the discussion had moved to what the centerpieces were.

“Wasn’t it decided that the wedding would be at the end of winter, around February of 2021?”

Rey couldn’t believe that she hadn’t noticed when Snoke had arrived to the party and placed himself across the table from her, fully in her sight and she in his. His undivided attention was to the enthusiastic bride but his eyes drifted over to Rey just slightly.

Rey already wanted another refill but she knew that it would be a bad idea. She had to drive the hour back to the city anyways.

“Oh yes, sir,” Ben said quickly. “Yes, of course.”

“The next important decision is going to be where,” Bazine laughed. “I sure do love the idea of Martha’s Vineyard.”

“Nonsense,” Snoke waved her off. Bazine’s smile dropped, Rey noticed. And she couldn’t help but feel bad. “Martha’s Vineyard at the end of winter is a terrible idea. You two are New Yorkers, you’ll marry in New York.”

“Anthony, maybe we should—”

Snoke threw a glare over to Bazine’s father Delphi Kloda who withered away immediately. Rey was shocked at the exchange, seeing the otherwise confident Mr. Kloda fold that an accordion. Rey looked over to Han and Leia, seated further away from her, and they looked like that would not be giving their opinion on the matter. Resolved to silence.

“Then that settles it,” Snoke said proudly. “February 2021 in the city. I trust everyone will be making sure their schedules work around this date.” A murmur of agreement trickled around the table. “Miss Niima?”

Rey was surprised to be addressed. “Yes?”

“I’m sure your schedule would accommodate that. Any Broadway engagements scheduled this far ahead?”

“None planned for Broadway at this point, sir.”

“So, you have no projects coming up?”

“I didn’t say that. Merely none on Broadway.”

Snoke nodded in response. “And this show you’re doing now, where you’re a _waitress_.” He said the word with such disdain that she wanted to throw the classy pitcher of orange juice straight to his face. “Such an odd premise for a show. I guess people are willing to watch anything. How is that going?”

“Well—”

Han spoke for the first time since she had arrived. “It’s sold out. Every night. It’s fantastic. Rey is a vision on stage, just a true performer. I read an article this morning that it’s very likely that Rey would be nominated for a Tony Award. Quite a prestigious honor.”

Rey gave Han a grateful look. She was fully prepared to fight her own battles, as she has for her entire life, but having someone stick up for her in front of this man who seemed to make it a mission to make her miserable every time he saw her was a relief.

“Oh yes, we’ve already seen it multiple times,” Leia continued on her husband’s story. Rey narrowed her eyebrows in question. “Yes, dear. We have seen it multiple times. Just because we only saw you after opening night doesn’t mean we haven’t attended more.”

“Since it’s sold out now it’s a difficult task obtaining a ticket,” Luke was saying to her. “I love you girl but some of these ghoulish sites are asking for thousands of dollars. I may be comfortably retired but that is just not fiscally responsible.”

“Oh Luke, I could get you into a show as my guest, for sure,” Rey told him earnestly, putting her hand on his.

“And I, Miss Niima?” Snoke asked her. “Would I be able to see this show that everyone is raving about? I would love nothing more than to see your talents in action.”

_Of course this gross looking man would try to latch on to my offer too. Where does he get off asking for favors like this? He doesn’t even know me. He doesn’t even like me. Why would be think that I’d invite him to be my personal guest?_

“Actually Mr, Snoke,” Ben piped up after clearing his throat. “I have a pair of tickets for tomorrow’s matinee.”

“You do?” Bazine asked confusedly.

“Yes, dear,” he said with eyes to convey that she should play along. “I was going to ask if you’d like to see the show again but if Mr. Snoke here—”

“Yes! Oh yes, of course, Mr. Snoke. Please accept these tickets. You will not regret it. Rey is just marvelous!” Bazine looked over to her with a sincere smile. Maybe even a bit apologetic, Rey wasn’t sure.

“Alright,” Snoke said as he smiled a creepy smile. Like his face was incapable of an upturn of his lips. It’s like his face was crumbling like a vase dropped on the floor. “As long as you accompany me, Benjamin.”

“If you’d like, sir,” Ben replied nervously. He snuck a glance over to Rey. Neither of them would be enjoying this.

“Good. I am looking forward to seeing Miss Niima and Mr. Dameron falling in love. Like in real life.”

* * *

“So Snoke is going to be here? For the matinee show?”

“Yes.”

“I wish you would’ve told me sooner.”

“Poe, it all happened so fast. I didn’t see you until we were on stage tonight so I’m telling you now. He basically told me to get him a ticket to a show. Ben happened to have tickets for today’s show and then Snoke invited himself.”

“God, I wish Ben had tickets to a different show.”

“Why?”

“I just came back from visiting my parents and my father came with me. My father will be here too, Rey.”

* * *

It was ironic that Rey would be nervous for _after_ the show rather than during the show. Since _Waitress_ began its run, Rey knew the show like the back of her hand and she was no longer nervous. But when curtain call ended and she waved her last goodbye to the matinee crowd, she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Because inevitably she’d be seeing Ben.

And Snoke.

And Kes Dameron. Who hated Snoke. Probably vice-versa.

She locked her dressing room door behind her and frantically cleaned her face and dressed in her non-Jenna clothing. She may have spent too much time applying her regular makeup to make sure she looked presentable. And she put on a dress. _A dress_. For during her downtime between shows.

A knock came to her door with a jiggle of the doorknob.

“Rey, it’s me, let me in.”

Rey opened the door for Poe, who came in quickly. He looked a bit frantic and Rey was going to ask why but before she got the chance, she was silenced by his lips.

Poe’s hands cradled her face gently as he kissed her slowly, coaxing her to follow his lead and open her mouth to deepen the kiss. She followed suit, undeniably liking the feeling of being kissed like this. This was how Poe kissed, always. On or off-stage. But receiving in private rather than in front of hundreds of people felt a little different. She hoped she could bottle this feeling and open it up again to remind her what she could have if she wasn’t hung up on someone else. Her hands found his shoulders and she moved in closer. A smile graced Poe’s lips before resuming the kiss. He was mumbling something into her lips but she couldn't make out what. One arm wrapped around her waist and she was pulled in closer. She didn’t mind.

Rey almost forgot that they had the most awkward meeting known to man about to happen until a not-so-soft knock interrupted their kiss.

Snoke and Ben stood at the doorway, one with their hand raised from knocking on the door and the other clenching their fists.

“Oh,” Poe pretended to be embarrassed and stepped away from Rey. She couldn’t help but look away. _So that's what that was for. Good thinking Poe._ “We apologize. Lots of adrenaline after the show.”

“Seems like it,” Snoke said with a smirk. He entered the room while Ben stayed back, his eyes not betraying his true emotions. “What a wonderful production. Truly. I expected to be bored but I was pleasantly surprised.”

“Thank you sir,” Poe said sincerely. Rey couldn’t tell if he was lying. _Damn it, why do you have to be such a good actor?_ “We’re lucky to be in this production. Rey and I can’t do it without everyone in this crew.”

“Teamwork…is quite important, yes,” Snoke said in his slow drawl. He turned his attention to Rey. “But self-preservation is also important. You cannot rely on others for your successes. We make our own luck in life, regardless of what the _team_ wants. Wouldn’t you agree, Rey, so you can further your career?”

“I choose to bring joy rather than sorrow to others,” Rey said bitingly. “I want my victories to be shared with others and to be out of happiness, not lies. If I wanted to do everything miserable and alone, I’d be a lawyer.”

Rey could tell that Snoke was biting his tongue. The acid was stewing in him but he knew that Rey’s dressing room in a Broadway theater wouldn’t be the best place to continue their verbal sparring match.

“So you have everything figured out, do you?” he asked her with glaring eyes.

“I’ve only ever followed my heart,” she said sincerely but still holding strong.

The shorter man stepped closer to her. She didn’t back down. “And what else is it that your heart wants, Miss Niima?

Rey answered the only answer she could think of. “Love.”

She found that Snoke’s eyes kept on hers and only hers, as if to intimidate her. Make her wither. Make her weaker. To get her to submit to whatever he wanted. And she still wasn’t sure what it was that he did want.

_Is he angry that I have this success? If so, why? Because I did it myself? Because I didn’t need help?_

_Or is it because I’m ‘dating’ his enemy’s son?_

_Or did it have to do with the man still hovering near the doorway?_

_Why are you making me so miserable?_

“Love,” Rey repeated. “Which I have. From my friends. And those who enjoy watching me perform. And...”

Poe took this as a cue to walk over to Rey and stand between her and Snoke. He said nothing but took Rey’s hands into his own to kiss tenderly. Rey smiled at him, relieved to have him on her side, while Snoke continued to question her. But her eyes met Ben’s. And his met hers.

“Where’s my son?!”

The equally loud personality of Kes Dameron entered the room, passing Ben, and locked eyes with his son. “Poe! My boy!”

The tension dissipated just a bit as Kes and Poe hugged strongly. Rey wished she could go into that hole she was thinking about before. Because Ben was looking at her now, still not giving away what his true feelings in that moment were. She stared at him as well, her eyes and body tired.

“I won’t keep you long since you have another show tonight but I wanted to meet your girl,” Kes was saying as he looked over to her.

“Yes, of course. Rey, this is my father Kes. Dad, please meet my lovely co-star Rey Niima.”

Rey politely held her hand out to shake the older Dameron’s hand but was engulfed into a hug. _Well, Damerons are definitely huggers._ “My dear. I cannot believe that Poe has been able to keep you a secret for so long. But I guess the stage cannot hide true feelings. You two were just beautiful up there together. Were they not, Snoke?”

Realizing he was being address, Snoke piped up. “Yes, quite beautiful. Even if it meant they were cheating on their spouses. I don’t imagine Rey or Poe support that at all, do you?”

“I support happiness,” Rey told him. “Jenna was stuck in a loveless, abusive marriage. She found happiness for herself. But in the end, she chose herself and her daughter. It’s quite an easy story to follow if you’re paying attention.”

Snoke opened his mouth to retort but closed it again. Rey felt victorious.

“I’ve got to go Poe. Rey, it was very nice to meet you. Please come to our home to meet my wife soon. I think we have time to make up for how long Poe had kept this from us.” Kes graciously diffused the tense situation to give her another hug. She returned it and said goodbye. Poe started walking out with his father, shooting her a glance, before leaving Rey in the room with Snoke and Ben.

“Well, it is our turn to leave as well. Come Benjamin. Thank you for a wonderful show, Miss Niima.” Snoke held his hand out to her. She merely looked at it, like he had at the engagement party, but did not take it. She crossed her arms over her chest instead.

“My pleasure, sir,” she replied icily. Rey had never seen quite a look in anyone’s eyes like that one Snoke gave her now. He did grab her hand to hold firmly. She tried to take it back but his hand was gripped like a vice.

“Be careful, girl,” he said venomously. “Your career has just begun.”

With that, Snoke walked out in a huff. Ben continued to stand at the doorway. Rey stood still for a moment before throwing her head into her hands as she groaned loudly. She was shaking, as if she were cold in the middle of a Canadian winter. But her blood was boiling. Finally, she looked up.

“Are you going to say anything?” she asked Ben with tears filling in her eyes. “He gets to talk to me like that and you’re going to let him?”

“Rey, I—”

“Benjamin!” Snoke’s voice thundered in the hallway. He must’ve been down the hall already with the echo that followed.

Ben walked over to her in three long strides before capturing her in a soft but strong hug. Rey felt herself relax. This was the hug she’d been longing for. The one that made everything better. The one that made everything worth it. _Everything_.

He pulled back slightly and held her head, just like Poe had before when he kissed her. But this time she felt _more_. She felt safe. She felt home. This was home.

She’d never be able to call this place home again.

“I am so sorry,” he told her, his voice breaking.

“Six years ago, you chose him,” Rey reminded him as she cried. “And today, you still choose him. When we were at Maz’s you said you would try to leave his firm and start your own. Are you still going to do that?”

“It’s…more complicated than I thought,” Ben said, still holding her in his hands. “I wish I never chose him. It would’ve meant that—”

Rey didn’t let Ben finish his sentence. She told him, “Just go."

His eyes looked back and forth between hers, desperate and longing. "You just came back into my life.”

“I know...I just...” she had trouble finding words. “I…don’t know, Ben. Just give me some space for now, okay? I’ll…text you when I’m ready.”

“Okay,” he said dejectedly. His thumbs ran across her cheeks, wiping away her tears. He seemed to hesitate to do something but eventually pulled away and wiped his own eyes. “Bye Rey.”

“Bye Ben.”


	12. December 2019

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case any of you were worried about which couple this story is for...
> 
> *also sorry*

_Mid December 2019_

It was too much to hope that Rey would do every single show during her Broadway run for _Waitress_. Even her diligent diet and strict workout regimen, as well as her vitamins, wouldn’t protect her from the flu. The temperature in New York City was constantly fluctuating, in the 20’s one day and near 70’s another, and that combined with a terrible flu season, Rey just wasn’t lucky enough.

So the show planned on her understudy to be on for three days at least while Rey recovered. Her throat was shot, she had a constant fever, and her body ached like no other. Not even three shows in one day could combat the soreness she felt.

She’d received all kinds of get-well messages through text and even on her social media. When the official _Waitress on Broadway_ Instagram announced her understudy’s step up to Jenna, there was an influx of her fans who came to her own Instagram wishing her well wishes on her last post – which was a selfie of her and Poe during a dress rehearsal.

Her apartment was also flooded with flowers. More flowers.

This time not just daisies but a great assortment, ones that Rey was sure that their purchasers were assured to be flowers to show well wishes. It had come to the point that Rey left her front door unlocked so delivery men, who were vetted by the building’s security, could just come in and drop off the next bouquet at whatever spot was still vacant on Rey’s kitchen and living room floor, so she wouldn’t have to open the door. It’d gotten to be tiring after just the second time. It had been at least ten just the first morning alone and the clock hadn’t even noon.

Rey herself had a comfortable perch on her new, tufted velvet couch. During her off time from the show, Rey managed to decorate most of her apartment with the vibe she’d grown in Prague. Rich colors on the furniture, deep wood tones, a statement Persian rug, with some modern gold elements here and there. She was afraid of making such purchases and making such big commitments on furniture that she wasn’t sure she’d be able to enjoy with her busy schedule.

But at this moment, as she’s surrounded with a few tissue boxes (one empty to hold her used ones), the thickest blanket she could find from west elm, Phasma-approved medications that wouldn’t harm her throat, and albeit cold-but-once-hot green tea, she was so glad she went with the green velvet, tufted couch and loveseat to match.

Most of the morning, Rey was answering the many emails she had in her inbox. Kaydel, bless her, only forwarded her the things she knew she’d want to see or read, but even through that screening she had over a hundred emails to sift through.

There were inquiries about becoming the face of several brands. Attending some fashion shows. Even some emails asking if she’d be willing to get advanced copies of several books, all of which she replied yes to. Not the brands, just the books.

There was one specific email from Focus Features that intrigued her though. There weren’t too many details of the project itself. It mentioned just a few things.

_A starring role._

_Directed by Alfonso Cuaron._

_Filming between December 2020 to approximately April 2021. Projected release in 2022._

_Meeting with the director and producers late December in New York, after she is done with her Broadway run. She could pick the place._

Rey read the email over and over again, afraid that her sickness was making her hallucinate. While this project was cryptic as hell, there would be no way she would pass up the opportunity to meet with Spike Lee for a starring role in one of his movies. She was emailing Kaydel immediately to set up whatever time and place she saw fit in their schedule.

An email returned immediately with several thumbs up emojis.

By the afternoon, Rey was on her well into her fourth (Fifth? Sixth?) viewing of the entirety of The Office (ever, not just today,) when another solid three knocks came to her door. She was in the middle of blowing her poor, red nose when she croakily said, “Come in!”

The door opened and feet shuffled over the floor. “I’m sorry I’m not able to greet you but it’s best if you keep away anyways. There are some snacks on the counter for you to take as a thank you for doing this delivery. Please send my thank you to the sender of the flowers.”

“I’m afraid I don’t have flowers.”

Rey looked up, gazing at Ben who was now standing in her living room. He was indeed not with any flowers. Instead, he had an assortment of paper bags and plastic bags in his arms. Rey was surprised that he didn’t have a man in a dark suit and sunglasses guarding the door inside and out.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well, not delivering flowers.” Ben teased.

Rey would blame her sickness for automatically _melting_.

“I’m obviously running a side business as a florist,” Rey said, gesturing to all of the flowers around. “Unless you have product for me to sell or unless you’re looking to buy, I can’t be of much help to you.”

“That’s too bad,” he said, stepping closer and placing the bags down on the coffee table. “I don’t have any flowers nor am I in need of any flowers at the moment. But maybe I could barter with some food?”

“Not much of a barter if you’re not getting flowers out of it,” she replied jokingly.

“Food in exchange for your company then?”

Rey raised her brows. He watched as Ben made himself at home, taking his jacket off and laying it on the back of her opposite couch. He started opening the bags of food and taking out a variety of plastic containers. Soups, pastas, there was even some sushi in there. It was all laid out methodically in front of her and she could only watch.

Until her mouth caught up to her brain. “What are you doing here?”

Ben looked up as he bent over the food. “You’re sick. I’m here to help you feel better.”

“How did you even know I was sick?”

“I don’t keep up with Instagram much but…”

“ _You_ have Instagram?” Rey almost started laughing. Instead she started coughing. She covered her mouth with several tissues and regained her composure eventually.

Ben handed her her reusable, metal water bottle. She muttered a thanks before taking a long drink.

“It was the only way for me to keep up with what you were doing,” he shrugged, finally sitting down. "You don't text very well."

“So you’re stalking me?”

“Your Instagram is public, Rey. I only see what you want everyone to see. But when I saw people telling you to feel better, I had to check why. Your fans are convinced you have pneumonia and/or are dying.”

“Just the flu,” Rey replied with rolling eyes. “I was really hoping I wouldn’t miss this many shows. At this rate I can’t come back until Friday.”

Ben shrugged and offered her an apologetic face. “I know that disappointing people is hard. But you wouldn’t be able to give them a good performance like this. You know that. You’re just feeling bad for yourself.”

Rey grabbed a cushion and pelted it over to him, hitting him square in the face. “What the fuck?”

“Are you just here to make me feel worse?” she asked with gritted teeth as she threw the rest of the cushions that she strategically picked out and placed on her couch. “Cause I can throw myself my own pity party, thank you very much.”

“I’ll take the food back if you don’t stop,” he warned, arms bracing themselves over his face.

Rey stopped abruptly. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“It’s either I take the food or I stay and leave them here. Your choice.”

Rey threw her last pillow. “You’re lucky I like food.”

Ben finally looked up from his crossed arms. He was laughing and Rey could not stop _melting_. “How could I forget?”

“There was a quiet moment before Rey inevitably broke it. "Where’s your secret service?”

“Stop.”

* * *

“You know you’re probably going to get sick too right?”

“Maybe it’ll get me out of the meetings with the wedding planner this weekend.”

“Oh, you’re not looking forward to looking at the same fabric over and over and over again? They’ll tell you one’s cream, one’s off-white, one’s eggshell. But they all look the same.”

The afternoon became evening. Normally Rey would be in her dressing room now, making sure her costume was on right and her makeup was at the point of just unbearably thick, and she’d be singing the opening song in just 20 minutes. Instead, she was in her living room, surrounded by her blanket, well dosed with strong antibiotics, open containers of the best food within a two mile radius, with Ben laying on the smaller of the two couches, his legs hanging off the edge.

It was like high school all over again. They’d be in one of the many living rooms at the Organa Solo home watching a movie marathon. Before they were interested in each other as more than friends, they’d platonically spend Fridays together when Rey would inevitably be locked out of whichever foster family’s home she was staying in. Ben would have food ready at all times, sometimes just pizza ordered from a local place or made by C3PO according to Ben’s and Rey’s specifications.

They’d ended up watching mostly classic movies, the ones Leia and Han would say were from ‘their time’ instead of any of the new movies that came out.

Eventually, they’d share the couch.

It took several more Fridays for Ben to even put an arm around Rey.

Once the contact was made, it was only another week until they’d have their first kiss.

The movies were soon the afterthought of movie nights.

“Bazine wants me to be part of every single decision,” Ben said with a mouth full of popcorn. Rey was surprised she had some in her pantry, she hadn’t done a grocery shop in weeks. “Which I appreciate. But how many script fonts can I look at? My name doesn’t even look like my name anymore.”

“You just wait for her to say which one she likes and then you agree. ‘Yes honey, that one’.”

“But she waits for _my_ input,” he replies exasperatedly. “She’ll ask and wait for an answer and looking at me with her eyes and I just—”

“Maybe try to enjoy it?” Rey suggested annoyedly. “You’re planning a wedding. You sound like you have a gun to your head.”

“It’s not that I _don’t_ like it,” Ben sat up to explain with his hands. Rey was used to watching Ben as he articulated his words with his large hands. She imagined that’s what he’d do in the court room to convince the jury that the crimes committed by some corporate leaders weren’t crimes at all. “I just didn’t think I’d have to be there for every. Little. Thing.”

“You can just tell her that, you know?” Rey said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“It’s not that easy.”

“If you can’t be honest with your future wife, who can you be honest with?”

An awkward silence came over them. Only the sound of Michael Scott in the background. Which was also awkward.

“So just tell her, ‘hey, can you not involve me in every single decision? I frankly don’t care what kind of linens are on the table.’”

“You don’t have to be an asshole about it but yeah, sure,” Rey shrugged. “But it wouldn’t hurt to show enthusiasm for your wedding. You’ve always been particular about things.”

“I am _not_ particular.”

Rey scoffed and settled her popcorn down. She could feel her throat itching again so the sodium was probably a terrible idea. Regardless, she enjoyed it. “You _freaked_ out when your parents got you that silver BMW. That one car that looked like your dad’s, like the Falcon.”

“I thought that my favorite color at the time was _pretty_ clear."

“Oh, and when we were at Luke’s retirement party and they served you something with onions on it? You _almost_ flipped the table.”

“That never happened!”

“Yeah, cause I stopped you from doing it!”

Rey’s coughing came back again and she reached for her water. Ben looked away sheepishly as he waited for Rey to come back down. She watched him over the rim of her bottle, sending glares his way.

“I guess I can be…selective,” he admitted quietly. He looked like a child being reprimanded.

“And on the day of your wedding, when you’re sitting down at your reception, do you really want to be thinking about how Bazine picked a color or material you _don’t_ like? Or even during the wedding, you’re looking up and thinking ‘wow, I really hate this arch.’ I’m just saying Ben, I’m sure Bazine knows this about you too and that’s why she’s asking. Stop thinking of it as a nuisance and start being present in the moment. You only get to plan your dream wedding once…theoretically.”

Rey never imagined a dream wedding. She didn’t have any family of her own, and she was past the point of wanting to know, so it wasn’t like she’d have enough people to fill the “bride’s side” of the audience. She’d imagined a small wedding, probably something at the courthouse or just a field, just her, the groom she didn’t imagine as Ben, and the officiant. Maybe a witness if they really had to have one.

She’d wear a suit, probably. But with a flower crown of daisies. Her hair would be down, wavy not curly. Maybe she’d wear her precious Christian Louboutin heels. Even with the extra inches she’d still be much shorter than Ben.

_Wait._

_Stop._

“I’m being a jerk to her, aren’t I?” Ben asked. Rey was pulled out of her dream. Her obviously high dream from her doses of meds and the fact that he was the only human she’d seen in a full day, not counting the delivery men.

“It’s not too late to right the wrong,” she told him. “Go to the wedding stuff she has to do when you’re not off arguing with people or whatever it is you do.”

“Being a lawyer is more than just arguing with people, Rey.”

“Right, getting people off on easier sentences when they should be going to jail for longer. Got it.”

Having none of it, Ben stood up. “Are we doing this now? We were having a nice night.”

“You can leave the same way you came in, Ben,” Rey said calmly. “I didn’t invite you so I’m not going to stop you.”

Ben reached over to her couch to grab the remote and pause Netflix on John Krasinski’s face. He then stood in front of Rey, the coffee table between them, one hand clutching his hair.

_I’m surprised he’s not balding with how often he seems to want to rib his hair out. Those damn Solo genes._

“I don’t have to believe my clients Rey, but this is my job,” he said to her. “You knew I wanted to go into law. This is the path I took. It doesn’t mean I condone their actions or I agree with them when they’re claiming that they didn’t break a contract when an ex-employee files grievances.”

“So when you were on Snoke’s defense team when he defended that one man who was accused of abusing underage girls, you were just _doing your job_? The paycheck was more important to you, obviously.” Rey got up from the couch, leaving a trail of popcorn behind her, as she went to refill her water bottle.

“That’s not fair and you know it,” he was storming behind her. He stayed behind the bar counter as Rey went into the kitchen. “I don’t have a choice in these cases, I’m just a part of the firm, I—”

Rey held a finger up to him as she took a sip from her water. She made him pause and wait for a full thirty seconds in silence. Ben was seething by then but held his tongue.

“You may continue,” she sighed, refreshed. A shit eating grin was on her face.

“You’re just as aggravating as before,” his eyes were narrowed at her.

“Right back at ya, _Prom King_.”

Rey made her way back to the living room now. She could hear Ben pound a fist on her marble countertop. “If you break it you better pay to replace it!”

“Goddamnit Rey!”

She couldn’t help but jump at the tone of his voice. Sure she’d seen him angry before. Hell, she was usually the reason why he’d get angry when they were back in high school, back in the early days of their not-official relationship.

Rey knew she was never in any danger around him. He’d been able to control his slightly violent tendencies with therapy. After a few holes in the wall and broken, priceless Skywalker antiques, he agreed to seeing a therapist once a week. Rey wondered if he was still going to therapy.

Ben walked over to the living room slowly and sat down in his spot, leaning his elbows on his knees. “I know that you never supported the career path I chose.”

“Ben, I couldn’t support you working for _Snoke_ ,” she corrected. “I had no issues with you going into law. I loved the idea. If I wasn’t so focused on acting I may have pursued it too. But you knew what he was before you started working for him. Everything he did early in his career and his partnership with Palpatine. After everything that you knew about him, you chose him anyways.”

Ben looked up with red eyes. His hands were shaking, reaching out in hopes of grasping anything. _Anything._ Rey was surprised but tried not to show it. Ben’s mouth opened and closed, trying to find the right words.

“He was the only one who believed in me, Rey,” he said softly. “Everyone else that I’d interview with would inevitably talk about my mother or my father. And every time that happened I knew I wouldn’t get the position on my own merit. Snoke evaluated my skills as my own. It didn’t matter who my parents were. He wanted _me_ , not the legacy.”

“Oh you really can’t believe that bullshit, can you?”

That got his attention. Ben’s neck snapped up. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Rey threw her blanket off and stood up. Loudly, with her throat protesting, she said, “Everything he does means something, Ben! He manipulated you into thinking that he was the only choice you had! I’m sure he made you tons of promises in the beginning and he will _never_ honor them. I tried telling you this six years ago but you didn’t believe me then and you still don’t believe me now!”

Suddenly feeling dizzy, Rey fell ungracefully back down to the couch. Ben rushed over to adjust how she’d fallen, holding her against his chest and putting her legs up on the couch. He reached over for the blanket and draped it over her. Over them both. She was coughing too, a terrible hacking noise to clear the mucus from her throat. Eventually she settled, too tired to scramble away from the hold she was in.

_I’ve missed this. I wish we could have this_.

“You’re definitely getting sick now,” she said weakly, her head falling back with a groan.

“Worth it,” he murmured, placing a gentle, lingering kiss on her temple. 

She wished she could enjoy it. Instead, she said, “fuck off, Ben.”

“I wish I could believe that that’s the meds talking but I think that’s purely, unadulterated you.”

“I thought you’d wait for me.”

Rey felt Ben’s whole body stiffen beneath her. The muscles in his arms tightened and his touch seemed more distant. As if to pretend that he wasn’t just cradling her now.

“It was a lot to ask of you, I know,” she admitted, her head drooping to the side. She clutched her blanket up to her chest. “I thought that if we were meant to be, we’d be able to wait for each other. But it was a lot to ask.”

“It wasn’t,” he was saying softly, softly brushing her hair out of her face.

“Then why didn’t you wait for me?” Rey could feel her the sleepiness washing over her now. She tried her best to fight it, but it was a battle she would lose. Like this one, with the man holding her now. The battle she’d waged six years ago when she gave him an ultimatum.

“ _Ben, you know what he’s done, what he stands for!”_

_“Rey, this is my chance. This is what I’ve worked so hard for. This is what the last four years have been about! This dream internship while I get my finish law degree. He’s taking a chance on me! He’s promised me more than you know. And it’ll let me stay here with you while you audition and land roles. This is it, we’re done being apart!”_

_“No, no, I can’t be with you if you’re going to help him do what he does. He’s represented murderers, rapists, launderers, the worst of the worst. If you work for him I don’t know if I can look at you the same way. Please, please don’t go this way.”_

She asked him to choose to work with Snoke or to stay with her.

When he asked to have both, she knew he’d made up his mind.


	13. December 2019 Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll be a few days until I can get the next chapter up but please enjoy this long one. :) Thank you all for continuing on this journey with me!

_Late December 2019_

Acting on stage was methodical. It was precise. Every single moment is accounted for. A note to sing, a step to take, a beat to wait for, something to add or subtract from the costume, a moment to dodge the stage pieces as they zoomed past you. It was methodical, precise, and exactly what Rey craved.

But acting on stage was also spontaneous. Unexpected. Like you don’t know if someone in the audience would sneeze and momentarily distract a cast member. Just for a nano-second but a nano-second enough. Or the laughter would draw out too long for some joke. There could be a hassler in the audience. Theater required adjustments. Going with the flow created by the audience. It required engagement. Raw performing talent so you were always prepared for what was next. This was something Rey had work on in order to become successful at acting – it was a challenge that she worked on accomplishing. There was no longer any fear of spontaneity in performing on stage.

She wished she could channel that spontaneity into her real life. Maybe that’s why Rey found falling in love with anyone else so difficult. It was neither methodical or precise; it was spontaneous, unexpected, and you had to be on your toes for whatever came next.

With Ben, it was methodical. They’d met early in high school. Their feelings were gradual and then bloomed, like a flower in Spring planted a season before. They watered the plant, watched it grow, give off its beauty, take in the sunlight, and thrive. But like all plants, it didn’t last into the next season. Eventually, the sun turned dark and the water couldn’t save it alone.

Spontaneous actions like Rey confessing her love her him or Ben confessing that he’d never loved Bazine and only loved her would be the only things to bring them back together. But Rey never thrived on spontaneity. She was methodical.

So Rey continued with her methodical functioning. Work, home, gym, work, home. She was going stir crazy when she had to stay home and let her understudy play her part for several shows. The structure of her day was gone – instead she watched The Office again and again and again, watching Jim and Pam dance around each other for several seasons until _finally_ , he comes into the interview room while Pam is talking to the camera and asks her out on a date.

She’d been so focused when she returned to her routine that she didn’t realize that weeks had passed, show after show completed, and it was already almost Christmas. This meant that their holiday showings would have a tinge of Christmas to it, not super specific of course, but there was just a layer of happiness added on to the magical experience.

Rey was leaving a Friday rehearsal when she was stopped in the hallway. Her fake-boyfriend, the always smiling Poe Dameron, greeted her with a kiss to the cheek.

“You coming to the Christmas party tonight?” he asked cheerfully.

“Yeah, for a little bit,” she replies. “I’m really looking forward to seeing BB-8 drunk.”

Poe laughs like he always does, belly out with his head thrown back. “I’d love to see it. You bringing anyone?”

Rey makes a face. “No, of course not. Besides I’m fake dating you for however long this is going to go on.”

“Incognito date?”

“Not a chance, Dameron.”

“Okay, okay,” he relents. “I was just bringing it up because I…am bringing a date.”

_This should hurt right? Sting a little? My heart should drop in disappointment and then I’ll go home, pound a gallon of ice cream, then put on my tightest and best dress and flaunt around and flirt with everyone?_

_It doesn’t._

“Oh my god, who?” Rey asks enthusiastically. She may not have a real relationship happening but she could still get excited that Poe had someone. “I didn’t know you were dating anyone! I wouldn’t have corralled you into this whole mess!”

Poe rest a hand on Rey’s arm softly to comfort her. “It’s super new. We met a couple weeks ago. But he’s in back in town after working and I really want you and Rose to meet him. We’re laying low, for the paparazzi, so they don’t think I’ve gone and broken Sunshine’s heart.”

Rey sighed and leaned over to give him a hug. “I never deserved you. You shouldn’t have to hide your relationship for my sake. Or your reputation. Who cares what they think?”

“My love, in this business, it’s all that matters.”

Poe’s voice was so calm that Rey had to pull back and see if it was really him. “Are you okay?” she asked curiously.

“Rey, our business is fame,” Poe said sincerely. “Everything relies on what the media _says_ , not what’s actually going on. Sure, you’d hope that they were telling the truth but just a whiff of bad publicity could derail our careers. Our relationship has made this show a bigger success than we could’ve ever dreamed. We went into it ‘dating’ and there was no ‘Rachel and Ross, will they or won’t they?’ about it. If something comes out about us breaking up, we wouldn’t be able escape it. At least with happiness we still had some of our freedom.”

Rey knew that Poe was right. The entire run of _Waitress_ so far had been drama and stress-free. Her assumed, but not confirmed to the media, relationship with Poe allowed everyone to enjoy the show, on stage and behind. There were no inquiries as to if their chemistry was real. No jealous exes. Their names remained relatively small so magazines and media outlets had yet to spend money to look into their pasts.

“I’m not saying I don’t want to be public with who I’m dating right now. But he’s in this business too so he gets it. He even said that he didn’t want to be the ‘other person’ in the relationship everyone calls _Damerey._ ”

Rey chucked at their paired name. “Damerey fans have been pretty vocal. We’ll let them know it was amicable, whenever you can’t stop yourself from shouting from the rooftops about this guy. Speaking of, who is it? Do I know him?”

“Yeah, you’ve done a movie with him. Finn Storm.”

* * *

Rey was looking forward to the cast and crew’s Christmas party even more now that she knew that she’d be seeing Finn again. It’d only been a few months since they wrapped on _The Resistance_ but Finn had been one of few to see her at her worst. Which was extremely drunk, calling Ben Solo and leaving a humiliating voicemail, and then talking to the voicemail recipient while she was still hungover.

He’d also taken care of her and made her feel like family while they spent months filming in various countries. She considered him a good friend, one of her best at this point, and getting to see him with Poe was going to be great. She felt terrible that the two wouldn’t be able to show the world exactly what was going on between them, her charade putting Poe in a terrible place, but after continuous assurances by Poe over text between their discussion in the hallway and her arriving to the bar, she felt just a little better.

Dressed in tight, black jeans, a lacy red top, her vintage leather jacket, with another long jacket to add a protective layer from the cold New York wind, Rey kept her head down as she rounded the corner to their little bar. It’d become the place they’d go to after shows, some of them or all of them, and she felt like it could be a place she frequented even after the show’s run. The crowd of people was always lively but also didn’t mind their group’s random outbursts of theatrics and singing and dancing.

There’d already been so many times that Poe drunkenly stood on a table to belt out some ballad that there wasn’t much they could do to be kicked out or asked to leave.

A wave of cheers met her when she opened the door and scrambled into the bar. It looked like everyone had gotten there before her to get a head start on the festivities. The bar itself was decorated for the holiday, green garland everywhere with red and white ornaments and snowflakes randomly placed on the walls and from the ceilings. It wasn’t fancy, but it was perfect.

Rey made her way over to the table that the group had commandeered and was immediately met with a slightly tipsy Rose. “You look hot!”

Rey looked down at her outfit. “It’s nothing special.”

“Well we see you wearing your waitress outfit all the time,” Jannah, one of the ensemble members, piped up. “This is different. It’s hot.”

“That she is,” Poe said, saddling up next to her and placing a slobbery kiss on her cheek. He’d definitely gotten a head start. “You trying to look good for someone?”

“I don’t know,” she teased back, playfully throwing her hair behind her shoulder and giving him a playful look. “Did it work?”

Poe’s face turned serious as he leaned in close, bringing his mouth to her ear. “I’m not the one you should be asking.”

Rey pulled away confused. Before she could ask what he meant, Poe was looking behind her and waving someone over. Figuring it was Finn, she turned around happily, but her smile dropped immediately when it was obvious that it wasn’t Finn that Poe was greeting.

It was Ben.

“Hey man!” Poe circled around her to greet Ben with a handshake. “I’m glad you made it.”

“You invited him?”

“Well I found out that he was spending the holidays alone because Bazine’s family is in Australia,” Poe started to explain. Rey couldn’t focus on his words because she was busy trying to avoid Ben’s stare. Suddenly her leather jacket and thin camisole was too _hot_ , like Rose and Jannah had said.

“And you guys are best friends, so I thought it’d be nice,” Poe concluded, downing some of his beer and giving Rey his puppy dog eyes over his glass. “Surprise?”

“You could say that,” Rey’s mouth was drawn into a tight line. She hadn’t told anyone what happened while she was out sick. No one knew that Ben came over, spent an afternoon with her, and that she’d drunkenly (from meds this time) let her feelings out there. Asking him why he didn’t wait for her. Putting herself in a vulnerable situation with her emotions once again.

Thankfully she’d fallen asleep deeply before she could hear what he had to say. She didn’t really need to know what he had to say. It would've been another heartbreak. He’d chosen Snoke years before and seemed to choose him again. And he chose Bazine now.

He never chose her.

“Excuse me,” Rey said shortly to the two men she really didn’t want to see at that moment. She turned sharply on the heel of her Doc Martens and marched to the bar.

The bartender was surprised to see her. “Rey. I was about to bring you your tea.”

“No tea tonight, Mitaka,” she told him. “Whiskey?”

His face broke out into a smile. “A little wouldn’t hurt you. I’m putting you on a limit though. Phasma would never forgive me.”

Rey rolled her eyes and waited as Mitaka pulled out a heavy glass and poured her two fingers of the top-shelf whiskey. She downed it in one go, feeling the warmth immediately enveloping her throat and her chest. “Another?”

“You can either have one more glass now or something to sip throughout the night,” he said seriously. “I’m not kidding when I don’t want Phasma to kick my ass if her star shows up hungover tomorrow.”

“Oh come on, Poe drinks _every_ time!”

“He’s used to it sweetheart. You though, can’t handle your liquor.”

Rey turned her head toward the voice who chose to interrupt her bartering with Mitaka and she squealed, her drink order be damned.

“Finn!” Their arms wrapped each other instantaneously, swaying back and forth slightly. “I’ve missed you!”

“I’ve missed you too,” Finn said, taking the seat at the bar next to her. “I went to see my parents in South Africa after we finished filming. I just came back.”

“I heard,” she smiled. “Sorry about…this whole thing.”

“Do not apologize for that Rey,” Finn was already laughing. “When he told me about it, this whole thing, I only thought about how genius it was. Make you-know-who jealous _and_ manage to increase the popularity of your show? Goddamn genius, Rey.”

Mitaka placed a yellow drink in a tall glass in front of her. She glared at it. “Bourbon lemonade,” he said to her. “Drink it however you want. But that’s all you’ll get. After that is water.”

“Thanks, _dad_ ,” she said as he walked away. She turned her attention back to Finn. “The second part wasn’t planned, it was just a side effect. And it wasn’t to…make him jealous and don’t make him sound like Voldemort.”

“Well making him jealous worked,” Finn muttered into his drink. “He can’t stop looking at you.”

Rey fought the urge to turn around to find Ben. “Stop that. I only asked Poe to be my fake boyfriend so he’d see that I moved on and that I’m happy. I didn’t want to give him any reason to think that I was there trying to get him back.”

“Is that not what you’re doing?”

Sighing, Rey took a big sip of her drink. “ _No_ , Finn. He made his choices. I made mine. We live with it.”

“I don’t recall you making any choices, Rey. Other than calling him up and reminding him of that promise—”

“And then I find out he’s engaged to be married to one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen!” Rey whispered loudly. Nervously, she checked if anyone was listening to their conversation. No one was. Thankfully. “He chose her. I choose to let him go.”

“That’s just…some depressing shit, Rey.”

Rey looked around to see if Mitaka was paying any attention to her. He wasn’t. Before Finn could argue, Rey had downed his drink as well.

* * *

Rey _did_ stick to water after that. She knew she was already pushing the limits with her alcohol intake, with the quality of her voice for their final two weeks of shows, and she definitely didn’t want to do anything stupid in front of the cast and crew. Or Ben. Especially Ben.

The night continued, everyone mingled, and Rey checked on Ben a multiple times making sure that he was comfortable. She never walked up to him to ask him straight up ‘hey, are you okay hanging out with all these people that I work with?’ but she’d look up, find him in the crowd because he was just so damn noticeable, and she’d see him smile a smile that would reach his eyes.

And she’d feel better.

Eventually everyone sat down the long table that sat in the middle of the bar, sharing drinks and stories and appetizers to keep their drunk stomachs full. Rey watched as Finn and Poe, both sitting across from her, tried their best to keep their hands off each other. They were doing a great job considering how much they’d had to drink. _Consummate professionals, those two._

Rey was in her own little world, wishing that Poe and Finn could show everyone their happiness, that she didn’t notice that Ben had taken the empty seat next to her that was vacated by Rose a while back.

“I see you got over the flu.”

“Observant.”

“I’ve been told.”

“Why are you here?”

“Because I was invited.”

“No, why are you _here?_ Sitting next to me?”

“Oh, I forgot. You only like me when you’re high on flu medication or if I come bearing food.”

“It really has to be a combination of the two.”

Rey couldn’t help the smirk on her face and she turned her head to see him smiling as well. They laughed together awkwardly before Ben held his beer up to Rey’s glass of water to * _clink*._

“To honesty,” he said as his cheers.

“To…best friends.” Rey took a big gulp of water, not meeting Ben’s eyes. She knew he was staring at her. She wished he’d stop.

“No security detail tonight?” Rey teased.

“I’m not as interesting when my parents or Bazine aren’t around,” Ben admitted.

“Everyone!”

Poe was standing up, pretending to use a utensil to make noise against his beer. He got everyone’s attention anyways, even those who weren’t a part of _Waitress_.

“Thank you for being here tonight,” he said to the listening crowd. “I am a lucky man to be able to spend the holidays with such an incredible and talented group of people. It’s been the best few months getting to work with all of you.”

Poe earned sincere “awws” from the crowd, which he waved away. “As we are all performers here, I know that no one would object to an impromptu duet. I’ve always wanted to perform this song but because this song is performed by two female characters, so it never felt right for a man to do it alone.”

A familiar intro to a song started. It was mostly piano with a little bit of snare drum.

“But at the core of it, this song is about two lovers,” Poe continued. “It’s passionate and raw and _hot._ Honesty pouring out of them. Who better to sing it with than my co-star, Rey Niima?”

The intro continued. Rey knew exactly what song Poe wanted to do and she shook her head. “Nope, no. Not doing it.”

“You’re Maureen so you might miss your intro,” he told her with a grin. “If you don’t decide in three, two, one—”

* * *

**Ben**

****

He watched as Rey started singing right on cue.

“ _Every single day,_

_I walk down the street_

_I hear people say,_

_‘Baby’s so sweet’”_

It was like she became another person. A new character, Maureen from RENT, singing to the lover she thought couldn’t accept her as she was.

_“Ever since puberty_

_Everybody stares at me_

_Boys, girls-_

_I can’t help it baby_

_So be kind_

_And don’t lose your mind_

_Just remember that I’m your baby”_

Rey stood up now, her emotions directed at Poe. Ben watched in amazement, this little impromptu performance right _in front_ of him. By the woman he cared about the most. The one he loved so fiercely that he didn’t even look for another person to share his life with during their time apart.

But then Snoke brought Bazine into his life and he had no choice.

_“Take me for what I am_

_Who I was meant to be_

_And if you give a damn_

_Take me baby…or leave me_

_Take me baby or leave me”_

Rey placed a foot on the chair she’d been sitting on and used Ben’s shoulder as leverage to fully stand on it. Ben tried not to focus on the lingering warmth he’d felt under Rey’s brief touch.

“ _A tiger in a cage_

_Can never see the sun_

_This diva needs her stage!”_ Hollering from her captivated audience followed. She stepped onto the table, keeping clear of the glasses on it.

“ _Baby – let’s have fun!_

_You are the one I choose_

_Folks would kill to fill your shoes_

_You love the limelight too, now baby_

_So be mine_

_And don’t waste my time_

_Cryin’ – Oh honeybear – are you still my baby?”_

Rey’s arms extended, as if presenting herself to Poe on a platter. Ben gritted his teeth, watching Rey performing just above him, close enough that he could touch her. His eyes traveled from her feet, up her jean-clad legs, to the leather jacket she was wearing, to her exposed collarbones, and then to her radiant face, which was looking at Poe seductively. Ben clenched a fist beneath the table.

“ _Take me for what I am_

_Who I was meant to be_

_And if you give a damn_

_Take me baby…or leave me”_

She’d dropped to her knees, causing glasses to shake The cheers only increased. But she continued to sing to the man in front of her.

_“No way – can I be what I’m not”_

Ben’s eyes bulged as Rey dropped her jacket just slightly to expose her shoulders and more of the red lacy top she was wearing underneath.

_“But hey – don’t you want your girl hot!_

_Don’t fight – don’t lose your head_

_Cause every night – who’s in your bed?_

_Who?”_

Rey was back standing now, hands on her hips, and Poe stood on the floor to hold a hand to her, beckoning her to come down. She took it and gracefully stepped down to his chair, and then back to the floor.

“ _Who’s in your bed?”_ She presented her cheek for a kiss.

Poe dramatically turned away. _“No, it won’t work._

_I look before I leap_

_I love margins and discipline_

_I make lists in my sleep_

_Baby what’s my sin?”_ Poe stepped closer to Rey, wrapping his arms around her waist, no space between their torsos now. An arm came to touch her face, her cheek, and cradled the back of her head.

“ _Never quit, I follow through_

_I hate mess – but I love you_

_What to do with my impromptu baby”_

Poe stepped back, singing to everyone else now.

“ _So be wise_

_Cause this girl satisfies”_

He points to her. “ _You’ve got a prize_

_So don’t compromise_

_You’re one lucky baby”_

Poe slides away, like a performer on skates, as he walks down the length of the table.

“ _Take me for what I am”_

“A control freak!” Rey shouted her line.

“ _Who I was meant to be”_

“A snob – yet over-attentive!” Poe’s friend Finn said beside Rey, causing her to laugh with him.

_“And if you give a damn”_

“A lovable, droll geek!” Rey and Finn were in unison this time.

_“Take me baby or leave me”_

The entire bar seemed to know the next line, “And anal retentive!”

Ben saw pure emotion, rage building up in Rey now. Where she mustered it from, he had no idea. Probably imagining their fight all those years ago.

“ _That’s it,”_ the stars sang together.

Only Poe. “ _The straw that breaks my back.”_

Together again. “ _I quit._ ”

Poe points a finger at Rey from across the table. Ben hardly noticed that Poe was standing in Rey’s spot now. “ _Unless you take it back!”_

_“Women? Was is it about them? Can’t live – with them – or without them!”_

As if they’d practiced it before, Rey and Poe simultaneously slammed their hands on the table on the beat and continued to sing together. They looked as though they would climb over the table to get at each other now – whether to fight or to take each other’s clothes off, Ben wasn’t sure.

“ _Take me for what I am_

_Who I was meant to be_

_And if you give a damn_

_Take me baby or leave me_

_  
Take me baby_

_Or leave me…”_

With serious faces, Rey and Poe walked toward the opposite ends of the table.

_“Guess I’m leavin’!_

_I’m gone!”_

Everyone in the bar, even a few stragglers from the street, erupted into loud cheers and hollering, at the performance that they were allowed to witness. Ben, in awe of Rey’s raw talent, could do nothing but clap loudly, joining as everyone stood up to give the two stars a standing ovation. They stood at the ends of the tables, doing modest bows, before running to each other and hugging like lovers do.

Ben only watched as Rey ran into the arms of another man. It hurt him as deep as anything could be, like a knife was just jabbed into his abdomen and its holder twisting every which way to make sure the damage was as bad as it could be.

He watched her smile, her face a little flushed from the alcohol and the heat and the spur of the moment performance, and he could only wish that he was the one who’d put that smile on her face. Everything he’d done during the last six years and counting had only given her grief.

Accepting Snoke’s offer.

Working for him.

Becoming a full-time lawyer for this firm.

Accepting Bazine’s invitation for dates when Snoke insisted he go.

Proposing to her at his boss’s request.

All under the promise of obtaining the information Snoke was able to get on Rey’s biological parents.

That was what Snoke had promised at the start. “Join me and I will get her the answers she wants,” he had told him.

It took almost six years and a proposal to a woman he didn’t love for Ben to finally be given what he was promised. And it wasn’t a sweet victory in the end. Because he couldn’t tell Rey the truth about he’d uncovered and everything he did to do so.

And he couldn’t back out anymore, no matter how hard he tried. Snoke had everything on him. Every misdeed that Snoke and Associates have done in the past six years, he was part of it. Every settlement, every intimidation of a witness, every instance of evidence tampering or evidence disappearing that could be tied back to them, it would, and Snoke would gladly throw Ben Solo under the bus.

And Ben couldn’t afford to let that happen. Not because of his career, because it was built on the misery of others, but he couldn’t bear to hurt Rey even more. And his mother – who would be running for President any day now – wouldn’t have a chance in hell if the reputation of her son was shot to hell. His father didn’t agree with his decision six years ago either, like Rey, and to disappoint him again was another thing he couldn’t stand.

So Ben goes along. Ben is obedient. Ben listens. All to protect everyone he truly loves.

Ben watched her leave the bar, all of the alcohol out of her system already, without saying a word to him or sparing him a glance for him to keep in his memory. She’d given everyone attention, it’s what she does, but for him she had none. And he couldn’t blame her. He’d been keeping her by his side for this whole wedding mess the entire time. Showing to her that he was happy, was able to obtain a wife, that he could be happy too. And it was all a lie for her sake, to protect her from the man she once tried to protect him from.

Ben left soon after, making sure to pay his tab, and he made his way down the sidewalk. A noise in the alleyway drew his attention and he turned his head to see Poe Dameron kissing someone.

That wasn’t Rey.

A fist was flying through the air and landed squarely in Dameron’s jaw, causing the shorter man to fall back. Finn, Ben remembered his name, shouted at him.

“What the fuck, man?!”

Ben’s momentary anger distracted him long enough to get a blow to his own jaw. Once he finally looked up after gaining his composure and spitting out blood from his mouth, he watched as Dameron cradled the side of his face with Finn comforting him. Deep breathing were the only noises in the alley for a minute as they both stopped to catch their breath.

“Who talks first?” Poe asked, grimacing. “You? Me?”

“You piece of shit,” Ben growled at him. “I knew you’d do this to her.”

“Do what?” Poe asked exasperated. His face dropped immediately. “Oh. Shit.”

“What, did you just forget you had a girlfriend? She was just here!”

“Ben, listen—”

“No, fuck you!” Ben screamed, lunging back at him. Finn stepped in to protect Poe, holding Ben back with all the strength he had. “Let go of me!”

“No, Ben, you need to listen to Poe.”

“I don’t need to do anything other than beat his ass—”

“Rey and I aren’t together!” Poe yelled at him over Finn’s shoulder.

“That’s fucking right you’re not together! Because she’s going to know what you’ve been doing behind her back and—”

“We’ve never been together! It was all an act!”

Ben quit struggling and shoved Finn off of him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Rey asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend,” Poe explained, still clutching his jaw. It would bruise for sure. Ben wondered how it would look under the lights of Broadway. “For your engagement party. She didn’t want to be alone.”

“You…faked it? None of it was—”

“We’re actors,” Poe shrugged jokingly. “I can’t say it wasn’t fun.”

Ben fought the urge to lunge at him again. He paused to think. “Was she…trying to make me jealous?”

“No,” Poe sighed. “As much fun as it would’ve been. She said it was so she didn’t look like the girl coming back from your past to snatch you away. Like Julia Roberts in _My Best Friend’s Wedding_. She wanted you to be happy. She didn’t want to stand in the way of that.”

“I don’t believe you,” Ben sneered. “You’re just cheating on her and making up this whole thing that—”

“It’s all true,” Finn piped up from the side. “It is. I was there when she called you. When she left you that voicemail.”

“Oh yeah, _that voicemail_ ,” Poe was saying.

“You…were there?” Ben asked.

“It took us an hour to convince her to call you,” Finn admitted. “She was so drunk, I didn’t think she would. And then you called back the next day, she found out you were engaged. Man, I’d never seen anyone so heartbroken. We had to be on set the next day. I didn’t know if she could do it.”

“She always does,” Ben mumbled absentmindedly.

“She does, and she did, and man, you should be proud of her,” Finn was saying, almost breathlessly, though he wasn’t the one who got a fist to the jaw. “Her heart was just ripped out of her chest and she had to perform all these dangerous stunts because she didn’t want the stunt doubles to do it. She was…invincible.”

“And selfless,” Poe added. “Your happiness was more important than hers. She didn’t want you to have any reason to doubt your choices. I think that she was thinking that if she made sure she was out of the equation, there’d be no doubt in your mind.”

“I…I don’t know what to say Poe, I’m—”

“There’s nothing to say,” Poe admitted. “You did what I would’ve done if I were in your shoes, which would be to punch the shit out of me. You were just trying to protect her. Like I imagine you always have been.”

“Always,” Ben sighed. “But I hurt her. And I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Well, admit one thing but I have a feeling I already know the answer to this. Do you still love her?”

Ben looked up. “I never stopped.”


	14. December 2019 Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say this was a slow burn, right? Emphasis on burn.

_Christmas 2019_

Rey looked over the texts she received the night before.

_“We’ve been found out. Ben saw me and Finn. We told him it was an act, you and me. Not me and Finn. So he knows. I’m sorry, my love.”_

She wasn’t sure how they’d meant to tell everyone that the whole relationship was just an act. She figured that with the ending of _Waitress_ , she’d allow enough time for the hype to die down and people wouldn’t notice that she and Poe weren’t posting Instagrams with each other.

But in her personal life, which really only meant Ben and his family, she wasn’t sure.

She was kind of glad that it was found out this way. At least she didn't have to put anything into words. She texted Poe back letting him know that she was sorry she’d roped him into this. Her next thought was of Ben.

How he’d probably tell his entire family that Rey was just pretending to have a boyfriend.

How he probably thought it was all a ruse to make him jealous.

How he’d laugh about it. Amused, obviously, that the girl from his past created such a big story just to get him back.

She hadn’t heard from him at all and she was glad of that. She couldn’t go through the embarrassment of explaining to Ben what this was really about. Let him think what he wanted to.

“Miss Niima?”

Rey jumped at the voice and the knock that came at her door. She was in the middle of preparing for their Saturday Christmas show, the night after their casts’ Christmas party, and she hadn’t been expecting any guests. Nonetheless, she grabbed her robe quickly to cover up and went to continue to apply her makeup.

“Yes, BB?”

“You have a guest. Would you like them to come in?”

Rey furrowed her brows at the tone of voice BB was using. He was usually nervous around her, for reasons she still didn’t understand, but he seemed hesitant. Scared, even.

“Of course, come in,” she said, getting off her makeup chair. The door opened slowly and she saw her PA with large eyes, nerves radiating off of the poor boy, as Snoke followed him into the room.

“Mr. Snoke,” she said shortly, trying her robe a bit tighter around her abdomen.

“Miss Niima,” he smiled, in the creepy way he always does.

An awkward pause followed.

“Brendan,” Rey diverted her attention towards the cowering man. Her eyes looked at him in a curious way, as if to convey that there is a reason why she was calling him by his real name. “Will you excuse us please?”

BB’s face stilled and became more serious. Understanding what Rey was trying to tell him in their own silent language, he nodded. “Yes ma’am.”

The sound of the door closing behind him cause Rey to jump slightly. She found herself alone in a room with the man who’d unknowingly separated her from Ben. The man Ben chose over their relationship, citing that it was for strictly work reasons and opportunities. Regardless of Rey’s feelings of what Snoke stood for, what he fought for, all of which would be a reflection of Ben’s character if he worked for the man.

The man before her worked endlessly to protect society’s rich. The CEOs accused of sexual misconduct or misuse of funds. Wealthy members of New York’s elite in the midst of custody battles or divorce settlements. Even when the media would report evidence found that should point towards his defendants’ guilt, Snoke and his team would inevitably get their defendant found not-guilty or receive a much lesser sentence than they deserved.

And Ben chose to work to defend these people. Rey couldn’t look at him the same after he’d told her that it was _just_ _a job_.

If it was _just a job_ , why couldn’t you find a different opportunity, Rey always wondered every day after they’d separated. If it was _just a job_ , why not work for the pro-bono firm that his uncle had tried to start after his retirement as District Attorney? Why not find a smaller firm that did not symbolize America’s court system’s corruption? Why not find another way?

Rey couldn’t accept that this was Ben’s character – that he wanted to defend these people with Snoke. But she couldn’t find another reason as to why he would agree to work with Snoke. So she stopped trying to figure it out.

With Snoke standing in front of her now, she couldn’t help but wonder. _What is it about you that made him want to choose you? What did you promise him? How do you treat him?_

“Aren’t you going to offer me a seat?”

“That would infer that I mean for you to stay,” Rey replied bitingly. “And I do not.”

Snoke walked over to the couches and sat anyways. “A star on Broadway. Pity that this show is almost due its final curtain call. It’s a shame that your career must end.”

Rey gulped. _What is he talking about?_ “I have projects lined up. You are sorely mistaken if you believe my career ends with this show.”

“Well, of course not,” he sighed. “I am aware that you have meetings coming up for your next projects. A new movie. A press tour for a film coming out next year. Some other smaller projects, most of which will keep you out of New York for at least a year or so.”

_How do you know all of this?_

“And you’re wondering how I know all of this,” Snoke said, standing up and approaching her slowly. As she did last time he was in this room, she stood her ground and refused to be intimidated, regardless of her shaking hands and reddening face.

“I make it my business to know everything, Miss Niima.” He stood in front of her now, just slightly taller than her. “I especially make it a point to _know_ when my associates are distracted and are meaning to derail their success, as well as mine.”

_Ben._

“What does this have to do with me?” Calmly, Rey asked.

“You see, my firm was built by myself and my partner Sheev Palpatine,” he stepped away from her now to wander around the room. His fingertips touched the random assortments on her shelves, her vanity, her walls. “We created an empire from the ground up. Not simply from our work as attorneys, but other practices as well. Many of which do not deal with the law. You could say that many of them are in spite of the law. Let’s just say that your Benjamin has been part of many schemes that were the public to find out, his mother’s presidential bid may not be as successful as they hope.” 

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I need to ensure that he does not betray me. For the past six years, I’ve taken Benjamin under my wing. Allowed him experiences that a regular law firm would not have given him. Allowed him riches that he was able to procure on his own without his family dynasty’s help. Given him someone to love who will support him unwaveringly.”

Rey’s feelings betrayed her as her eyes turned down just for a second. Despite it being an action that took only a second, Snoke noticed. And he smiled. “Ah, yes. Darling Bazine will be his supportive wife and will bear him children. Benjamin will follow in my footsteps as I’ve planned since he agreed to work with me many years ago. He will continue this legacy that I built.”

The tension building up in Rey was so palpable that she’d felt that her heart was going to burst out of her chest. She didn’t even notice that Snoke now held a large envelope in his hand, playfully gesturing for her to take it. She didn’t move.

“You’re trying to intimidate me,” she finally said, gritting her teeth. “And I still have no idea what role I have in this.”

“But you’re an _actress!”_ He laughed, waving an arm. “You’ve played many roles, Miss Niima. But the one as the woman who pines for her ex-love is not your best role.”

“I still don’t understand what _my role_ is in this.”

“I know that it may be enough to ruin what I’ve built,” he sneered. “I cannot have Benjamin distracted from the future I’ve built him. _You_ are the distraction, Miss Niima. I have done my best in the past six years to keep you away and _of course_ , when Benjamin is due to be married you come back into his life and create inner turmoil in him that I’d cleared away. I had told him to let the past die and you along with it.”

_Inner turmoil_.

_Does this mean…_

“He was not very receptive to the idea of proposing marriage to my associate’s daughter,” Snoke continued. “But I’d made him a promise six years ago that I held over him until he finally proposed marriage to the woman of my choice. I’m thinking now that I should have waited until their wedding night to give him what he’s asked for all of these years. But I had no reason to doubt that even when I followed through with what I had promised that he'd stay loyal to me so I gave him what he asked for The only reason he came to work with me.”

Snoke waved the envelope of documents. “Aren’t you curious to know what’s in here?”

“It’s none of my business if it concerns your business with Ben,” she said seriously.

“But it’s not about dear Benjamin.” He held out the envelope. “This is what I promised him six years ago.”

Rey hesitantly took the envelope and did not break her eye contact with the man before her. She held it nervously, not making any action to open it.

“You will find answers in there,” Snoke told her. “Answers that you’ve always wanted. If you open this, you must promise me one thing.”

Rey shook her head and laughed, tears threatening to fall from her face. “You must be deranged if you think I would promise you anything.”

“I think you will agree to this,” he said. “That if you interfere with my plans for Benjamin, with him marrying that girl, with their marriage, and him continuing my legacy, I will ruin him. I will ruin his reputation and in turn his mother’s, his father’s, his uncle’s, and _yours_. I will make it so he experiences no happiness, no reprieve, no freedom. I will tell everyone of his involvement in our misdealings, how he, under an alias, was able to gain the trust of many of our opponents to get the information we would not have access to in order to win our cases. How he, as Kylo Ren, used any means necessary to intimidate accusers. How he ensured our success and allowed vile people to walk our streets.”

“What makes you think I don’t want people to know about this?” she asked softly, unsure why she was asking. She could never let Snoke hurt Ben like this. She knew she'd agree to anything Snoke asked of her now to keep Ben safe.

“Because you love him,” he said simply. As if it were common knowledge. “Because you care for him. Because you don’t want to see him hurt. And trust me, Miss Niima, I will make him hurt if he chooses any other path than the one I’ve laid out. Emotionally, mentally, physically – he will hurt. You must know what I’m capable of. If he chooses wrong. If he chooses you.”

“You can’t,” her voice broke as she spoke. “Please, don’t hurt him.”

“I will not, if you keep away,” he replied. “Simple as that. Sever all contact with him. Allow him to believe that you do not care for him. And everyone’s lives continue as it was before you came back into his life. You continue with your career. He continues my legacy. No one gets hurt.”

_Except me._

_Again._

“What about this?” she asked, holding the envelope. “What’s in here?”

“Well you are allowed to read it,” he said. “Benjamin was quite shocked to see what was inside.”

Rey took out the packet of documents from the manila envelope. She saw a copy of her birth certificate, showing her name, where in England she was born, and the name of her parents.

_No._

_This can’t be._

“ _Sheev Palpatine,_ ” she breathed. “I’m…no…this isn’t…”

“But it is,” Snoke smiled. “It seems as though my partner had a love child who also had a love child. And that is you.”

She looked up, unable to read anything else that the envelope contained. “Ben…he knew about this?”

Snoke’s evil smile graced his face again. Before she could get an answer, a similar knock sounded on her door. Before she could answer, BB was walking in with two security guards. Snoke followed with no issues, making sure to give her a wave before exiting.

* * *

Rey continued on. No one was able to tell that she’d just found out about her parents, about her _grandfather_ , just an hour before the curtain rose for her intro. She made BB promise not to act strangely as if there’d been no guests that day. He readily agreed but gave her a hug when he noticed that she was wiping away tears. Rey accepted it and hugged him tighter than she should've. The poor boy was all bone. But his smile once she pulled away was enough to make her feel slightly better.

Rey went through the motions – _work at the restaurant, find out you’re pregnant, sing, sing, sing, start an affair with Poe, pretend to have sex with Poe on stage, sing, sing sing._

Rey was wearing her fake pregnant belly, in the middle of a monologue, before she started to sing her big solo.

The words felt different tonight. Like she was talking about herself. Even with a dress she’d never wear in real life and a fake belly over her own, she didn’t feel like Jenna.

Under the spotlight, tonight, she was Rey.

“ _It’s not simple to say_

_That most days I don’t recognize me_

_That these shoes and this apron_

_That place and its patrons_

_Have taken more than I gave them_

_It’s not easy to know_

_I’m not anything like I used to be, although it’s true_

_I was never attention’s sweet center_

_I still remember that girl”_

She had to clear her nose and her throat. She hadn’t cried _like this_ during _She Used to Be Mine_ before. For the audience, she was sure that she just looked emotional for the song.

Not that her heart was being ripped out of her chest at the thought of Ben marrying someone else or Ben getting hurt if he didn’t marry someone else.

Regardless, in the end, she couldn’t have what she wanted.

“ _She’s imperfect, but she tries_

_She is good, but she lies_

_She is hard on herself_

_She is broken and won’t ask for help_

_She is messy, but she’s kind_

_She is lonely most of the time_

_She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie_

_She is gone, but she used to be mine”_

She gets to a particularly strong part of her solo, the words giving her the strength she needed to pull herself together for this song, this show, and what she had to do.

_“To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes_

_That’s been gone, but used to be mine_

_Used to be mine”_

* * *

Coming back from her lunch meeting to star in an _Alfonso Cuaron_ movie was like a dream come true already. She’d found out more about the project as she, the director, Kaydel, and people on his team discussed her role, what the movie was about, and other actors that they were considering for other parts.

In this movie, she’d play a wife of a man who, after a tragic accident, doesn’t remember her at all. She was to play her as heartbroken, selfless and selfish at the same time, and pining for a man who had no guarantee of ever being the man she loved. All the while raising their daughter who’d just been born and would have no recollection of the father who'd forgotten her.

The project would take a good year starting from next Spring to the following Spring, even if there were considerably fewer stunts and makeup than the movie she’d worked on prior to coming back to New York. It was to ensure that the passage of time felt authentic.

Rey was in the elevator of her apartment building bouncing on her heels. As she exited to approach her door, she didn’t even realize that someone was standing there before she could make a run for it.

“Ben.”

“Rey.”

She stood still, simply looking up at him. He looked disheveled, tired, way less put together than he normally did.

“Can’t dress yourself without your fiancé?”

“Really?”

Rey was fighting with her doorknob and key. “What?”

She finally opened the door and Ben followed her quickly inside.

“Rey, we need to talk.”

She dropped her keys and her bag on the console table near the front door. “We really don’t need to, Ben. There’s nothing to talk about.”

“We do,” he pressed. “I know that you and Poe—”

“Yeah, we lied, we pretended, laugh it up,” she said wandering around her apartment. “Tell me how stupid it was, how I obviously didn’t have to do it cause it doesn’t matter—”

“It does matter, Rey. Come on,” he stepped in front of her and grabbed her arms gently. “Tell me why you did it. I need to know.”

“I didn’t do it for any reason other than I didn’t want the questions, okay?” she lied seamlessly, shrugging out of Ben’s touch. She shivered as his heat left her. “The inevitable ‘oh, you’re still single?’ questions from your family since you had someone and I didn’t. It wasn’t worth the hassle. And Poe was willing to play along and keep me company, that’s it.”

He turned her around when she tried to walk away again. Looking her straight in the eyes, he asked, “Are you sure that’s it? That’s all of it? Nothing else.”

“Nothing else,” she said to him. “Why, did you think there was something else?”

“Of course, I do. Rey!” he exclaimed. “You’re telling me that you don’t feel anything for me?”

She stepped back from him. It felt like a knife to her own gut. “No, I don’t.”

He blinked and stared. Finally, he said, “I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t know me anymore,” she said softly.

“You’re lying,” he replied in the same voice. “You’re lying to me. Poe said that you were trying to make sure I wasn’t regretting my choices. And sure, I can believe that. But I think you’re lying to me.”

“You want to talk about lying?”

Rey turned away and stomped away from him to her library. She picked up the envelope from Snoke. She clutched it to her chest, hoping that what she would do in the next few minutes would be enough to get him to leave her alone. Forever. For his sake.

_Sever all contact with him._

_Allow him to believe that you do not care for him._

_And everyone’s lives continue as it was before you came back into his life._

With a deep breath and her heart full of regret, she went back out to him. He was sitting on her couch now, head in his hands. She shoved the envelope under his nose.

It seemed that Ben knew exactly what it was before even taking it from her hands.

“Rey…”

“You knew.”

“Rey.”

She opened the envelope herself when he didn’t take it from her. She shuffled through some papers before landing on a specific profile.

“ _Nadia Johnson, birth parents Sheev Palpatine and woman, name unknown. Given up for adoption. Married Cad Niima. Gave birth to a daughter, Rey, September 1990.”_

“Rey, please.”

“No wait, there’s more. _Two people found dead after apparent suicide pact. Found with backpack containing children’s clothing. No child was found.”_

“We still haven’t gotten to the one where Snoke paid off some reporters who were connecting those deaths with Palpatine, it’s just _so_ interesting—”

“Rey!”

She looked up angrily at the interruption. She dropped all of the papers onto her coffee table. “You knew? You knew all of this? And you didn’t tell me?”

“I haven’t known for long,” he started to explain.

“You’ve known longer than I have,” she said with her arms raised. She was trying to gather any anger she had.

Rey knew she wasn’t angry at him. She knew exactly why he hadn’t told her about what he’d found out. That she was _Palpatine’s_ granddaughter. That her parents committed suicide together. That the years she’d spent wondering if there were alive were all for naught.

No, she wasn’t angry. But she had to make him think she was. Because then maybe he’d leave her alone. So Snoke could win. And they could keep the lives they had.

“I didn’t know how to tell you,” Ben said sincerely, his hands reaching as if to hold her. “This is what Snoke held over me for _six years_ and then I got it and I didn’t know what to do. This information was the only reason I agreed to work for him. He promised me that he’d give me this information and I knew, deep down, how much you wanted to know. I did it so you could have your answers.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” she said tearfully, looking away. “I didn’t ask for this.”

“You didn’t,” he agreed. Ben seemed to finally gather up the courage to wrap his arms around her and cradle her to his body. Rey couldn’t help but feel the relief of fitting into him like a puzzle piece finding its home. She resisted the urge to return the hug – she felt herself crumbling.

So she pushed back. “We’re not going to pretend that you working for Snoke was some selfless act for me. I _begged_ you not to work with him. I gave you the choice and you chose him.”

“I didn’t know how else to get this for you,” he admitted, looking towards the loose paper. “I’d spent enough nights with you in my arms, crying and wondering about your parents. Snoke promised me the answers. I was foolish enough to believe that it wouldn’t take six years to get them.”

“I didn’t need the answers Ben, I needed you!”

Right as she screamed, she broke out into a sob, covering her face as she cried. Rey had planned on making sure that his feelings were hurt enough that he’d storm out and leave. She hadn’t planned on telling him so much about how she’s been hurting for years.

“You thought you were doing something for me but in reality, you just broke my heart, Ben. Sure, you thought you were doing this all for me but I asked you to pick me. I asked you to choose me and you didn’t.”

“I tried leaving Snoke’s firm after a couple of months,” he confessed. “When the reality came down and I wouldn’t get what I was promised. But I couldn’t leave. He was threatening your life, my parents’, my—”

“So you staying with him is to keep me safe?”

“It always has been.”

“And marrying Bazine, that’s all part of keeping me safe too?”

Ben hesitated. “I…didn’t have a choice.”

“Do you love her?”

“I tried…but—”

“Wait, I frankly don’t care,” she forced herself to say. “It doesn’t matter to me. This is to _protect me_ , right? Well I’d feel much safer if I weren’t around you. If I didn’t have to see you. That was I can be safe. It’s been working for six years right?”

“Rey, please, let me explain.” He had dropped to his knees in front of her, grasping her hands to his chest. “I think I’ve found a way to get out of this whole thing. How to fight Snoke. How to leave him permanently and keep everyone safe. But it’s going to take time and I’m going to need help. I’ve talked to my mom and Luke for help and they’ve agreed and we’re going to expose Snoke for everything—”

“I’m not a part of this,” she breathed. “I don’t want any part of this.”

“And you’re not, you’re _not,_ ” he tried assuring her. “I’m just asking you to wait. We’re putting together a case and it may take months, maybe a year, and I’m asking you to wait.”

“But you’ll still be playing along, right? With Snoke’s plan? Working for him, being a fiancé, planning a wedding?”

Ben nodded slowly. “Yes. In order for this to work, I need to look like I’m still on his side. But it’s going to work. Just wait for me, please.”

“I could wait for you,” she whispered. And with her best acting skills, she said, “If I still loved you.”

He looked up and Rey could see the heartbreak evident in his eyes. She hoped he couldn’t see the heartbreak in hers.

“I see,” he said, slowly getting up to his feet. His hand went up to caress the side of her face. Rey allowed herself to enjoy it briefly, as a memory to keep of him. “We could never get the timing right, could we?”

“It’s never been the right time for us. It may never be.”

With that, Ben took back his hand and walked to the door. Before closing the door behind him, Rey heard him say, “I love you, Rey.”

The door shut.

Rey choked back a sob.

“I know.”


	15. January 2021

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More flowers?

**_Approximately One Year Later_ **

****

**_January 2021_ **

****

“Why are we up so early again?”

“Because it’s nominations morning, sweetheart.”

“So we have to be up at this ungodly hour for something we can read about when we wake up?”

“Don’t you want to be awake when you hear that you’ve been nominated for an Oscar?”

“ _I_ won’t be. Rey will be. The movie will be.”

“Okay, so don’t you want to be up when they announce that _Rey’s_ been nominated for an Oscar?”

“Rey, do I need to be up for this?”

“I don’t even know if I should be up for this. There’s no guarantee.”

“Rey, my love, you’ve been nominated for a Golden Globe, a SAG, and a BAFTA. You already got the Golden Globe. You’re almost guaranteed to get a nomination.”

“Poe, you really have to stop calling me that.”

“Yeah, it’s a little creepy.”

"My love, did you realize you'd be halfway done with the EGOT if you win the Oscar? Oscar and Tony within two years!" 

“We haven’t faked dated in a long time. The nickname can retire.”

“But the fans _love_ it.”

“No, they think I’m trying to break you and Finn up and I really don’t want to have to get another fake boyfriend.”

“I wonder if Solo is available for that role.”

“Poe!”

* * *

Rey, Poe, and Finn were all sitting in Rey’s LA apartment with the Oscars nomination stream on Youtube TV. It was early in the morning, too early, and the sun wasn’t even up. But all three, well maybe just Poe and Rey, were wide awake and anxious to hear that year’s nominees. 

In the past year, Rey hadn’t stopped moving or traveling. She’d:

  * Filmed for a Netflix show in Georgia
  * Filmed in LA for an A24 movie
  * Filmed in Toronto for a Marvel movie
  * Filmed in Belfast for an HBO show



She’d also managed to get an apartment in LA, citing that she needed to have a place in Hollywood for work reasons and _not_ because she was avoiding New York at all costs. She kept her New York apartment, allowing BB-8 to ‘house-sit’ for her but basically allowing the Broadway Production Assistant to live rent-free as he worked on several productions.

Rey had almost all of January 2021 off, her first chunk of free time since before _Waitress_ at the end of 2019, and she’d spent nearly all of her free time hunkered down in her LA apartment with only Poe, Finn, Rose, her trainer Jyn, and Kaydel allowed to come through the doors. After working for a year straight, and feeling terrible that she'd probably overworked her assistant, publicist, god-sent Kaydel, she'd agreed to a stay-cation in her apartment.

This allowed her to attend the award shows that Poe had mentioned before, accepting awards at various events for _Best Supporting Actress_ for _The Resistance_ which came out on Christmas. She’d had to go on a worldwide press tour for the movie, thankfully with Finn by her side at every stop, and inevitably had to land in New York for its East Coast premiere where she had a run-in with a certain bride.

“Tell me again what happened in New York,” Poe said to Rey, shoving some popcorn in his mouth.

“God Poe, it’s 5 AM, how are you eating popcorn?” Rey asked disgustedly.

“Not the question, my love.”

When popcorn started flying in her face, Rey relented. “Okay! I’ve told you this story before. Hell, you were there.”

“But I wasn’t _there_ there. Come on, tell me again what Bazine said.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “You know how I hate watching myself on-screen so I went to hide in the bathroom. In hindsight, there were other places I could’ve gone but it doesn’t matter now. Bazine was there, in the bathroom. How she got an invite to the premier, I don't know. She asked me why I hadn’t been answering her phone calls or emails.”

“You’d think she’d get it when it’d been a whole year,” Finn mumbled sleepily at the end of the couch. 

“Right? Anyways, I told her that Ben and I had a falling out.”

“Which you did?” Poe questioned.

“Yes,” Rey confirmed but did not elaborate. “Anyways, she got up in my face and told me that it was better off this way. That she would be marrying Ben in two months and that I wouldn’t ruin this for her.”

“Damn, that bitch,” Poe breathed. “You basically fell off the face of the Earth for an entire year and she still feels threatened by you. Solo must not want to marry her _at all_.”

“I bet it’s some scheme,” Finn said, suddenly a bit more awake. “Cause you know, he told us that he still loved Rey. Why would he agree to marry someone else if it wasn’t because he had to?”

“Ben makes his own choices,” Rey said quietly. “Anyway, I haven’t talked to Ben in over a year. Not even Han or Leia. I’ve kept away from them. It’s for the best.”

Poe and Finn gave each other a look. “What is that supposed to mean?” one of them asked.

“Nothing,” Rey said quickly. “Oh look, they’re starting the stream.”

It took almost an hour to get to the category all three were really waiting for. During that time, Finn was mumbling about how they should’ve just woken him up when the time came rather than staying up for the whole broadcast listing nominees that he wasn’t really paying attention to.

_“And our nominees for Best Supporting Actress…”_

Rey closed her eyes. She felt Poe and Fin grasping both of her hands tightly, both of them mumbling ‘come on’ under their breaths as name after name was read off. In her anxiety, Rey almost lost all of her senses and barely heard when—

“ _Rey Niima, The Resistance_.”

She was pulled off the couch in a bear hug immediately, her brain not yet processing what this meant. The shouting and cheering from Poe and Finn were deafening and distracting that only when Rey’s feet met solid ground did she realize what this meant.

Oscar. Nominated. Actress.

“Is this real?” Rey asked, looking at her hands shaking in front of her. “This isn’t a dream?”

“No, my love. This is not a dream,” Poe said happily, kissing the side of her head. “This is your real life. Congratulations.”

Her phone wouldn’t stop ringing for the next few hours after that.

* * *

Kaydel came over immediately, still in her very stylish PJs, to help Rey draft a thank you press release. She’d brought over Rey’s favorite donuts and bagels from a mom and pop shop around the corner, along with a few bottles of champagne.

“I’ve had these for months,” Kaydel admitted about the bottles. “I knew this would happen. Got any orange juice?”

So, for the hours following the Oscars announcements, the four of them were casually writing the press release while eating cream cheese and locs and sipping on expensive champagne and orange juice. At one point, Rey had accepted a FaceTime with Rose and Paige who were both in New York. The squeals were endless and eventually Rey had to go lay in her bed for a bit to escape the commotion. And the alcohol was getting to her head.

”Maybe I shouldn’t be drinking this much in the morning,” she’d mumbled to herself as she laid down on her made bed.

Rey laid for a minute, few minutes, an hour maybe, she wasn’t sure. She stared into the ceiling and replayed the last few hours in her mind. She felt like she could wake up from this dream and be in the old cot that Plutt had in the basement for her, back when she’d dreamed of a better life. Or maybe she’d wake up as a high schooler, in Ben’s arms after a movie night.

It still didn’t feel real to her, that she’d gotten this nomination. She’d forever be billed as _Oscar Nominated Rey Niima_ for her roles. This could kick her already blossoming career into overdrive.

_What would I wear? Something too fancy, probably._

_Who would I bring? Do I have to bring anyone?_

_When is it anyways?_

“February 14! Valentine’s Day!” Kaydel had shouted from the living room, answering her question that she didn't realize she'd asked out loud.

_“Then that settles it,” Snoke said proudly. “February 2021 in the city. I trust everyone will be making sure their schedules work around this date._

“Oh my god,” Rey said quietly. “I wonder…”

“You’ve wondered correctly,” Kaydel was walking into her bedroom. “Same day.”

“You don’t know what—”

“Ben Solo’s wedding? Yeah, same day.”

“How do you know?”

“Cause you got an invite.”

“I… _what?”_

Kaydel handed Rey her phone to look at the email she had pulled up. Before she could absorb the information she was seeing, there were firm knocks at her front door.

“I’ll go see who that is, must be some flower deliveries,” Kaydel said as she strolled out of the room.

Rey scanned the invitation on Kaydel’s phone. It was addressed to _Miss Rey Niima_ , no guest, for a ceremony in New York City on Valentine’s Day 2021. Rey let out a laugh, almost embarrassingly so, as she recognized the irony of the situation at hand.

_Ben’s wedding is still on._

_It’s on Valentine’s Day, of all days. How romantic._

_I’m supposed to be going to the Oscars on that same day._

“Rey, you might want to come out here.”

Finn’s serious voice cut into her laughter. She pocketed Kaydel’s phone into her pajamas, which thankfully had pockets, and made her way out to the living room.

“You guys won’t believe what I—”

She stopped in her tracks when she saw who had come into her apartment. Rey thought she was hallucinating. Maybe drunk already from the champagne they’d all shared that morning during their celebration. Or this was just a continuation of a dream that she’d wake up from. Standing there was one of the last people she thought she’d see on a morning like this.

Han.

“Hey kid,” he smirked. “I heard these were your favorite.”

A bouquet of daisies were held out to her. She took them in a daze. “Thank….you…”

“Do you guys mind giving us a minute?” Han looked around to her friends and to the two men accompanying him. _Secret service_ , of course. The men nodded and walked out to the apartment hallway while Kaydel, Poe, and Finn scrambled into the nearest rom they could find.

“A library!”

“Damn, she has a lot of books!”

Then the door shut.

Rey laughed nervously. “What do I call you? Sir? First Husband? First Man?”

“Han,” he said rolling his eyes. “It’s always been Han to you, scavenger.”

“Things have changed,” Rey mumbled into her flowers.

Han walked around her to make himself comfortable on her couch. “Yes, things have changed. For all of us.”

“I’m not the one living in the White House,” Rey teased, taking a seat.

“Well you’re living a better life, I’m sure,” he told her, looking around her apartment. “You make more money as an actress than my wife does as President. Maybe she got into the wrong business thirty years ago.”

This made Rey laugh. “I think President of the United States is better looking on a resume than—”

“I think Oscar nominated actress is pretty good too.”

Rey blushed in a manner only a Solo man could make her blush. Han gave her a smile and opened up his arms, urging her to sit beside him. She followed instructions with no reserves. She sat beside him to wrap her arms around his torso.

This hug was the one she would get when he’d find her crying on the porch steps after Plutt would lock her out.

This hug was the one she would get when he would ask her what his son did that time.

The one she got on her graduation day

The day she’d left for college.

“Have you talked to him lately?” Han asked, his chin resting on her head.

She knew who he was referring to. “Of course not.”

“Shame,” he said sadly. “Can I ask why?”

Rey pulled back slightly. “We all make our choices. He made his, I made mine.”

“Wow, very cryptic of you,” he laughed. “Come on, kid. Does this have anything to do with Snoke?”

She jerked back. “Why would you say that?”

“Because Ben told us why he started working for Snoke in the first place. What information he had about your past. What he had Ben doing for him. He told us not long after the Christmas before last.”

“He told you?”

“He needed help,” Han sighed. “Everything he did, all those years, I couldn’t look at him for a month. I was so angry that he was directly involved in all of those terrible cases. But Leia, always the rational one, started helping him right away. Rey, this entire time they’ve been building a case against him. Dameron’s helping, hell, Luke even came out of retirement for this. All to prove Snoke’s corruption. We have to cover all of our bases though, make sure that once we out Snoke, he can’t take Ben down with him. That Ben, and the other innocent associates, aren’t blamed for Snoke’s dealings. We’re hoping that the case can be filed in the next month.”

“But he’s still working for him, he’s—”

“The only way we have an advantage here if he thinks that Ben is still on his side. So, this entire time, yes, he’s been working for Snoke. He’s been engaged to Bazine and planned this whole wedding with her to show loyalty to him. But Rey, please believe me when I tell you, that this is all an act. It will all be revealed soon enough, you’ll see.”

Rey stood from the couch and put a hand to her head. “I’ve been avoiding him for all this time because I was afraid he’d out Ben for everything they’ve done and you all have been trying to make sure that he doesn’t. Ben was trying to tell me this but I wouldn’t listen.”

“I’m sure you were overwhelmed and you’d just found out some big news. I can’t blame you for doing what you did,” Han admitted with a sigh. “Snoke played you against each other. You were trying to protect each other from the same man.”

“He wanted to ruin everyone’s reputations,” she whispered. “If I didn’t stop talking to him. If I didn’t leave him alone.”

Han tilted his head. “Is that why you told him you didn’t love him anymore?”

“I had to get him to leave,” Rey’s voice cracked as she spoke. “I said what I had to.”

“I know, kid,” Han nodded. “As much as it hurt him, and you, this was the best way for us to expose Snoke the right way without anyone getting hurt. What you did was selfless, even if you don’t see it that way.”

“He must hate me right?” she tried to sound strong. But she bit her lip and tried to hold her tears.

“No, kid,” Han smiled. “He loves you.”


	16. February 2021

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm adding this chapter as I'm minutes away from going to class. Forgive me for any mistakes, they will be fixed. I hope to like it. Please let me know.

_February 2021_

Rey wasn’t sure how she’d be able to get herself presentable by herself ever again. When Kaydel brought her into a hotel room near where the Oscars was taking place in just several hours, she was immediately bombarded by a team that would wash her hair, bathe her and make sure she was hair-free _everywhere_ , meticulously dry and style her hair, and then spend another full hour putting makeup on her.

There was someone to hold up her feet so another person could check how the various heels would look with her skin tone and then compare that heel to one of three dresses that were picked out for her but she’d managed to get final approval on. It was strange though because all of the heels looked almost the same; the fuss over the heels seemed a little over the top.

But then again, this whole team’s one goal for that day was to get her ready for a night that would last only a couple hours and would be over eventually. And then she’d have to get a flight to New York for rehearsals before she went back to filming her Alfonso Cuaron movie.

Rey tried to put on her bravest face as all the fuss centered around her. She couldn’t lift a finger on her own; literally, someone was picking up her fingers to test nail polish colors on until the typical nude Ballet Slippers from Essie was selected so they wouldn’t be too loud against her outfit.

Rey’s hair was relatively short but massive curlers still stayed put for an hour or so. She pretended that her scalp wasn’t crying out for mercy or that her ass was getting numb because she’d been sitting on a not so comfortable chair for hours as she was poked and prodded by a team that Kaydel had assembled. She watched some mindless program on TV, turned to a channel that would specifically avoid the news.

Kaydel said she didn’t want her to see any of the Oscars coverage as she got ready. But she knew the real truth.

Another event was happening on the other side of the coast tonight.

_Ben’s wedding._

It’d been a few weeks since Han had visited her in LA, telling her that the lawsuit against Snoke would come out soon enough. But it hadn’t yet and Ben’s wedding to Bazine, which was apparently also fake, seemed to not be cancelled. If the celebrity media sites weren’t covering the Oscars, they were covering the biggest wedding New York has had in years. Especially because it would involve the current President’s own son.

She tried not to wait anxiously near her phone for a call or a text telling her to look at the news and see that Snoke was being arrested or that the wedding was off. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was waiting for but she was waiting for…something. Something that hadn’t come. And the day had finally arrived.

Oscar’s Day.

Ben’s wedding day.

Valentine’s Day.

So rather than anxiously waiting by her phone, Rey had deliberately left her phone at home. She’d be with the people she needed to contact for any reason anyways. Kaydel, always by her side. Finn, her co-star and date to the event. Poe was in New York, apparently doing something related to work.

“It sucks that I can’t be there,” Poe was saying on Facetime on Finn’s phone. He looked to be walking on the sidewalk, a beanie covering his curls. “I’m doing some training.”

“You doing another show?” Rey asked, trying to lean toward the phone as much as she could without bothering the stylist behind her head and the makeup artist poking at her with a brush.

“No, like _I’m_ training someone, like a side thing, no big deal,” Poe answered. “Guys, it’s really cold and I’m about to head in. But don’t worry, I’ll be watching tonight. I’ll share some champagne with someone when you win, my love.”

_“Poe_ ,” Rey and Finn groaned at the same time.

They earned one of Poe’s best smiles. “Also, isn’t it weird that you’re on a date with _my_ boyfriend now?”

“Bye Poe,” Rey aggressively ended the call but started laughing with everyone else around her. Finn went back to where another team was fawning over him, less of a crew than Rey had but still a lot for a guy with hair that didn’t need much styling.

Eventually, Rey was in a robe, her hair still in curlers, but makeup mostly done. She looked into a hand mirror and saw that the makeup artist hadn’t done anything too out-there for her look. It looked naturally her but enhanced, her cheekbones a bit more pronounced due to some contour, a light pink flush on her cheeks, and a highlight that would blind people if it caught the sun a certain way. Her eyes were also larger with mod-style black eyeliner on her upper eyelid and a white cream on her lower lash line. Fake lashes helped the look, really making her eyes look open.

Three mannequins stood in front of her. One was black, sleek, and feathered down to white toward the bottom. Another was a bit poofy, like a ball gown. It’s bottom part was floral but not overtly and it was paired with a strapless white top, a black belt finishing the outfit well above her waistline. It had pockets though, which was the selling point.

The last outfit was decidedly her favorite and she wasn’t sure why she’d had other options. It was an all-white outfit, a mix of masculine and feminine, with its suit-like top that became somewhat of a cape at her sides, but the length cut off just below her knees. She felt not only beautiful but powerful – like a queen ready to take on anything.

The team was in agreement the minute Rey stepped out of the bathroom in her white outfit – paired with Christian Louboutin heels – the white versions of her first black pair that she’d splurged on years ago. Her legs looked impossibly long in her suit-like dress, the color of the outfit perfectly contrasting with the tan of her skin. A nice deep red was added to her lips and she looked complete.

_Almost_.

“There’s been a delivery,” BB-8, who was hired on as another one of Rey’s assistants and still kept watch of her New York apartment, announced. He carried a box to the main area where everyone was looking at the woman of the hour. “It says it’s from President Leia Organa.”

Everyone turned, a few gasped, but Rey simply bit the inside of her cheek. She was then bombarded with questions like

“ _You know the President?!”_

_“What do you think it is?!”_

_“Isn’t she supposed to be getting ready for her son’s wedding?”_

The box was given to Finn and Rey nodded at him to go ahead and open it. The box held another box, a velvet one, and once it was opened, Rey stopped breathing.

“They’re pearls,” Finn said, holding the box out to Rey like he was presenting them.

“They’re from prom,” Rey said to Finn only. Their eyes met as squeals surrounded them, questions of “ _you went to prom with Ben Solo?”_ echoing through the room. Finn carefully picked them out of the case and handed it over to Rey.

She ran her fingers over the pearls, the small strand of them, and picked at the delicate clasp.

_“Like Holly’s,” Leia said, clasping the necklace around Rey’s neck. “Just a bit more subtle.”_

She reached around her neck carefully and locked it in one try. They fit exactly as they did over ten years ago when she was first given them for her prom outfit.

“You know,” Finn said quietly to her. He stepped closer and cleared his throat. “Audrey Hepburn was wearing Givenchy when she won her Oscar.”

Rey hadn’t even thought of the designer label when she was given pictures of Haute Couture outfits to pick from. Of course, she’d end up picking Audrey Hepburn’s favorite designer. And the necklace she’d worn for her Audrey Hepburn prom outfit would be delivered to her the same day.

Like Leia knew it would complete her outfit.

Rey turned to the awaiting crowd again. Rather than squeals of delight she was met with teary eyes and slight gasps.

That was it.

That’s all she needed.

* * *

Kaydel was monitoring when the car would arrive to take Rey and Finn to the red carpet. At fifteen minutes out, Rey was handed a glass of champagne. She took a sip to calm her nerves but then passed it over to Finn when she realized that it would do the opposite.

The crew was abuzz now, talking amongst themselves. Rey was nervously standing on her own near the door, waiting to escape the room but only be led to the lion’s den that was the Oscars red carpet.

Rey heard the TV channel flipping until someone had shouted, “Go back!”

Rey paid no mind to them. She was trying to control her shaking hands. Her nerves were getting to her. The expectations were so high. She’d received many awards already for her role in _The Resistance_ but this one, _this one_ , would change everything. There was a chance that she would win, the same chances she had to lose. It was never a safe bet, even if apparently she was the frontrunner on everyone’s list. (Who is everyone? Rey didn’t know.)

“Rey, you have to see this.” Finn was tugging on her hand gently, bringing her into the main room. She narrowed her eyes at him, ready to snap at the disruption of her mini panic attack, but she followed Finn’s pointing finger.

The TV showed Snoke.

Being escorted out of his home, obviously handcuffed behind his back, by several police officers. His New York townhome was surrounded by officers and media and spectators.

In her haze, she could only hear and read the words

_Arrested_

_Embezzlement_

_Fraud_

_Felonies_

“They did it,” Rey whispered to no one in particular. “It happened.”

Knowing that her fifteen minutes were almost up and the car was almost arriving, Rey stood closer to the TV to listen. The anchor was talking about the suit was filed this morning and almost immediately, an arrest warrant was out for Anthony Snoke. He was, predictably, in his New York home and was detained without much of a fuss. His major business partners did not have arrest warrants but were being looked at as persons of interest.

The most interesting part was the mention of Ben Solo.

_“President Organa’s son, Ben Solo, was an associate of Anthony Snoke, almost going on ten years. In a stunning turn of events, Solo was listed as one of the plaintiffs in the suit filed. It seems as though the day has been eventful for Ben Solo, as well as his family, as it was announced that his engagement to Delphi Kloda’s daughter Bazine Netal has ended as of today. The wedding was to take place tonight. Delphi Kloda was one of Anthony Snoke’s largest investors and was neither listed as a plaintiff nor a defendant so it is still up in the air as to his involvement in the alleged misdoings of Anthony Snoke.”_

“Rey, it’s time to go.”

Rey tore her eyes away from the camera, cleared her throat, and exited the room, holding Finn’s hand.

* * *

Rey stepped out of the car carefully, knowing she still couldn’t fully trust herself in high heels. The doorman opened the lobby door for her, giving her a smile, and she, out of habit, floated to the elevator and pressed her floor number.

She had her small clutch, which held her keys, in one hand.

In the other.

An Oscar.

With her name engraved.

_Rey Niima. Best Supporting Actress. The Resistance._

Hyper aware of what she held in her left hand, Rey carefully opened her apartment door. She didn’t bother turning on the lights, she’d been staring at flashing white lights all night. Dropping her keys into a bowl near the front door, she stepped out of her shoes and felt much better as her bare feet touched the wooden floor. She kept a strong grasp of the award in her hand, not knowing where exactly she would keep it for the night. Or where she’d keep it at all.

Walking down the hallway and into the living room, her foot nudged something. Extremely cautious not to trip, Rey fumbled around to turn on a lamp. Once she did, she was met with more white.

But not flashing lights of cameras.

Daisies.

All over her apartment. In vases, in baskets, as bouquets. Sitting on her tables, her counters, her floor – all over. She’d felt a weird feeling in her heart – like déjà vu – to the opening night of _Waitress_ , in her dressing room.

A card was coming out of one particular group of daisies placed in a vase covered with pearls. Taking the note, though she knew already who would write her a note, she read.

  
_Oh, shall I stay, would it be a sin_   
_Oh, if I can't help falling in love with you?_

_I’ll wait for you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you want pics of Rey’s outfit options :)


	17. September 2021

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Rey's Oscars Dress](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/2-1579642129.jpg?crop=1xw:1xh;center,top&resize=480:*)
> 
> [Rey's Oscars Shoes](https://images.prod.meredith.com/product/0bf1fb6c7b58d52f14496601dc133a57/1558821630920/l/so-kate-embossed-red-sole-pumps-white-christian-louboutin-heels)
> 
> Btw guys, we made it. I hope you enjoy this. Just the epilogue after this. Thanks for sticking with my first story here in AO3.

_September 2021_

Rey was told to take the rest of the year off. Actually, she was very much convinced to take September through January of next year off. _At least_. After winning her Oscar in February of the same year, Rey continued with non-stop work like she had in 2020. She finished up filming for the so far still-untitled Alfonso Cuaron project in April and jumped into two working on two films at the same time.

Kaydel begged her to take a break once those two films were done, literally _begged_. Rey agreed when she found out that at that point, Kaydel was actually three months pregnant and battling morning sickness all while Rey had no idea.

Fully agreeing to taking at least until the new year off, Rey found herself trying to make any sort of plan.

_Vacation? Can it really be a vacation with paparazzi following?_

She’d asked Finn and Poe if they could go on a trip with her. Unlike her, they’d staggered out their projects and would be periodically busy until the end of the year rather than piling everything all at once. Rose had another stint on Broadway, this time as a star of _Mean Girls_. Rose’s sister Paige would also be working on and off and couldn’t commit to a long duration of time on vacation.

Rey realized she needed more people to call to hang out with.

But she’d managed to get Poe, Finn, Rose, Paige, and all of their Broadway friends to the bar near where they’d performed _Waitress._ Well, it was actually through the effort and charm of Poe Dameron that they’d all managed to have clear schedules for the night of Rey’s birthday and planned to celebrate the best way they knew: drinking.

Rey, dressed in a long, dark jacket and a typical Fall sweater with jeans, and a beanie to hang low over her forehead, walked with BB-8 to the bar. He’d kept staying with her in her New York apartment – basically a roommate but wasn’t forced to pay rent. He was also still doing production assistant work on various shows so it kept being a good home base for him. And Rey didn’t mind the company.

Once they entered the bar, the early stragglers cheered a wild cheer. Poe and Finn were already partaking in the drinking, though it was only about 7:30 PM, and ran to meet her at the door. After almost knocking her down with their collective force, they dragged her over to Mitaka at the bar.

“Do I have to worry about scary, tall, blonde women asking about the quality of your voice?” the bartender teased, making a drink in front of her.

“Not tonight!” Poe said excitedly. “Though we would never want to hurt your voice too much. You never know when an impromptu duet will come about.”

Rey pointed a finger in his face. “You will not, I repeat, will not, ask me to sing with you tonight.”

“Alright,” Poe’s hands held up in defense. “I won’t be asking you to duet.” A smirk appeared on the side of his face as he drank his drink. Rey chose to ignore it in favor of the drink that Mitaka had placed in front of her.

“Bourbon lemonade,” Rey laughed, taking it up to her lips. “Like last time.”

“You can have as many as you want, girl,” Mitaka said. “Happy Birthday.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” she said after taking a drink. “Thirty.”

“Oh wow, you’re so old,” Poe teased, nudging her in the back. “Finn, please tell my love that she does not look a day over 29.”

This time, Finn gave Poe a look. “You have a death wish.”

“I might,” Poe laughed. Turning his attention to Rey, he said, “How’ve you been?”

“Bored,” she admitted. “I’ve only been back a couple weeks and I’m already going stir-crazy.”

“You’re at least catching up on sleep?” Finn asked her, taking time to look if there were any bags under her eyes.

“Too much,” Rey groaned. “I want to work. But I promised Kaydel. She needs the break. Not having to follow me around while I avoid any sort of human interaction that isn’t on a set.”

“And now that you have time for human interaction, we don’t,” Finn pointed out. Rey saw Finn glance up over her head. “You need more friends.”

“Don’t I know it,” Rey muttered into her drink. “But at least I have you guys for tonight, at least. Let’s make the most of it.”

“Let’s,” Poe said with his devilish grin.

* * *

A few hours later, with Rose, Paige, and Jessika finally joining in the fun, as well as more of their Broadway family, Rey was sitting in the same spot she had been during their Christmas party. Smack dab in the middle of a long table. This time though, Finn and Poe were able to show everyone that _they_ were the ones dating – not Rey and Poe. The news had gone over well with the ones who didn’t know it was fake all along. The fact that Rey and Poe remained good friends and their interactions barely changed, except with the omission of PDA, was enough for them to just graze by it.

Rey watched as her friends, _her family_ , laughed together, sharing jokes and drinks and food, and sharing stories of Rey that she probably wished stayed quiet but appreciated to hear anyways. She made memories with people, even if she was working away from most human interactions. She’d missed this – having fun and not caring about what came next. She hadn’t had that feeling since they’d been working on _Waitress_ over a year ago. She thought about maybe looking into going back into Broadway. She’d be able to stay in New York, Kaydel could still be on her maternity leave, and Rey would rely on BB-8 a bit more.

But she shouldn’t be working, Rey reminded herself. This was a self-imposed but very influenced by Kaydel that she take time off to rest. Rey wished she had _someone_ to spend all of this time off with.

Anyone.

_But specifically…_

Rey grabbed the drink in her hand and chugged it down at the thought of her lonely vacation.

So lost in her thoughts, Rey almost didn’t hear a familiar piano intro. She looked up to see that someone was now on the new stage that wasn’t there the last time. _Huh, Mitaka must’ve had it built with all these performers in and out of here._ It was a pianist she didn’t recognize. But she recognized the melody.

“Poe…” she said slowly, turning her attention to the man sitting in front of her.

“Yes, my love?” the handsome man asked with a smile, his dark eyes twinkling with trouble.

“I told you, no duets,” Rey tried to keep her annoyance level down and started looking around, scared that people were expecting a performance from her. She saw several regularly dressed men standing near the exit, but just standing there, hands clasped in front of them. It looked like they had some Bluetooth devices on their ears. _Weird._

“No duets with me,” Poe said, raising his hands up in defense. “I promised. And I stand by that promise.”

The piano continued for a bit. It played the intro twice.

“So why does this sound like… _Waitress_ …wait, Poe…”

“ _I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes…”_

Rey turned back to Poe. His lips were upturned but weren’t moving. A quick turn of her head to Finn showed that he wasn’t the source of the singing either.

“ _They’ve seen things that you never quite say, but I hear…”_

It was a singing voice she’d never heard. But it was familiar. The tone, the deep richness. The raw, untrained, but still solid voice.

“ _Come out of hiding, I’m right here beside you…_

_And I’ll stay there as long as you let me…”_

Finally looking back up to the stage, Rey met Ben’s eyes. He held a microphone in his right hand, standing under one spotlight, on stage in front of everyone in the bar. His usual well-kept self wore a wrinkled white dress shirt, its sleeves rolled up half-hazardly. She watched as his beautiful mouth opened to sing again.

_“Because you matter to me_

_Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody_

_You matter to me…”_

He stepped off gracefully, not skipping a note, and slowly made his way over to where she sat at the table. She gripped the back of her chair, afraid she’d fall through or fall over, or just make a damn fool of herself.

_“I promise you do, you, you matter too_

_I promise you do, you see?_

_You matter to me…”_

Rey found herself jumping into her part, Jenna’s part, in this song that’s sung between two people who choose each other despite everything else going on. It’s a song that allows the two to show how important they are to each other. Rey sang the words as Jenna to Dr. Pomatter countless times.

Tonight she would sing them as Rey.

To Ben.

_“It’s addictive the minute you let yourself think.”_

Rey stands onto her feet, standing an arms-length away from Ben. He keeps the microphone close to his chest and Rey’s Broadway voice is strong enough to reach the microphone and project to the whole bar.

“ _The things that I say just might matter to someone_

_All of this time I’ve been keeping my mind on the running away_

_And for the first time I think I’d consider the stay…”_

Her right hand gravitates towards him and places itself over his heart. She feels it quicken under her touch.

“ _Because you matter to me_

_Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody_

_You matter to me_

_I promise you do, you, you matter too_

_I promise you do, you see?_

_You matter to me…”_

The piano interlude plays as Rey and Ben embrace softly, placing their foreheads together. Rey wraps her arms around Ben’s torso, his one arm snaking around her back while the other keeps the microphone firmly between them. Ben’s smile lights up the whole room.

As the piano notes grow stronger and stronger behind them, Rey feels as though the music is following the melody of her heart. Growing and singing, louder, and louder, more beautiful by the second.

They sing like they were meant to perform together.

“ _And_ _you matter to me_

_Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody_

_You matter to me_

_I promise you do, you...”_

The piano continues but the singing does not. A loud thud of the microphone ends the lyrics as Ben uses his right hand to come up to the back of Rey’s neck to pull her into a long-awaited kiss. As the piano fades away and the clapping and hollering begin, Ben kisses her fiercely, pulling her closer to him by her waist. His lips move against hers with conviction, as if pouring his love from the past ten years and more into her with just one kiss.

When Rey pulls back for a breath, he chases after her again – not ready to let this moment go. She smiles into the new kiss and wraps both arms around his neck, using her tiptoes to get closer to him.

“Who knew Ben Solo could sing?!”

Rey pulls away to laugh, taking hold of Ben’s face to hold close to hers. With a smile, she asked, “Where’d you learn that from?”

“Poe,” Ben answered, nodding over to the man.

Rey turns while remaining in Ben’s arms. Poe, his face donning his usual beautiful smile, held a drink out to toast to them. “He’s the reason I couldn’t go to the Oscars.”

Rey thought back to that day when she and Finn facetimed with Poe.

_“I’m doing some training. No, like I’m training someone, like a side thing, no big deal.”_

“You’ve been training with Poe?” Rey turned back to Ben. He looked down at her like everything was right in the world. “To do this? Why?”

“Thought I’d make up for the birthdays I missed. Why? Was this a _Bad Idea?_ ” he smirked, leaning down to her lips again.

Rey turns her head at the last second and says with a smile, “Is that your secret service over there?”

Ben groans in playful annoyance before capturing her lips to silence her finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Eternity Was In Our Eyes playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4tnCdYeRC46z2Ek7v3tleM)
> 
> Thank you all for your kind words. Let's send off Rey and Ben with a happy ending!


	18. October 2021

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fun little ending to this story. Thank you all for being with me on this journey.

_October 2021_

“I didn’t think that Rey would actually go through with throwing a Halloween party.”

“I wouldn’t think so either. But we did have to go through a thorough search by the Secret Service. I’m starting to think that dressing as _Waitress_ characters might be a little too casual for the dress code.”

Poe and Finn were walking up to Rey’s apartment door. They were dressed as Jenna and Dr. Pomatter from Rey and Poe’s Broadway show from 2019. Except this time, Poe got to be Jenna while Finn took over Poe’s character.

Poe glanced down at his waitress outfit and apron. “What’s too casual about this?”

“You don’t think she’ll think we’re making fun of her?”

“Oh, she’ll definitely think so,” Poe grinned. “But this was the best idea I’ve ever had. You just have the unfortunate role as my accomplice.”

Finn knocked on the apartment door. “If Ben Solo attacks me, I swear to god…”

The door was swung open by another imposing, sunglassed man. The two men were ushered in and the door was swiftly closed behind them. “I know that Ben is the President’s son but I didn’t realize this party would have this much security,” Finn was whispering to Poe as they walked down the hallway and into the main space.

“Can’t get rid of them. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

They turned to the sound of Han Solo, the First Man, dressed like a racecar driver and sipping on some amber liquid.

“Sir, it’s an honor to meet you,” Finn stumbled on his words and held his hand out. Poe was stifling a laugh beside him.

“Kid, it’s just Han,” the older man said as he shook Finn’s hand. “So you’re this Big Deal that he’s told me about?

“I guess so,” Finn blushed. “I didn’t realize you knew the First Man, Poe.”

“I went around to some of the sessions he had with my son,” Han said, referencing the year or so that Poe worked with Ben on his vocal training. “My son was never able to hold a note but Poe here was able to give him a voice. But I had a great time laughing at him when he was still really, really bad.”

“He wasn’t _that_ bad,” Poe said as he grabbed some drinks off a waiter’s tray.

“Oh, I was that bad.”

Ben Solo walked up to the three men, simply dressed in a tux. Finn eyed him curiously.

“Where’s your costume?” he asked Ben.

Ben took something out of his back pocket. A tiny, plastic trophy that resembled an Academy Award. “I’m wearing it. I’m Rey.”

“Me too!” Poe said excitedly, gesturing to his nametag that said _Jenna_. “Oh my god, this is awesome. I knew this was a good idea.”

The men shared a laugh and drinks for the bit as more guests started coming in. Soon, Rey’s apartment was filled with her and Ben’s family and friends, all dressed outrageously for the occasion. Rose and Paige arrived as Glenda and Elphaba from _Wicked_. Jessika dressed as Freddie Mercury. Heavily pregnant Kaydel came as a skeleton with a baby skeleton covering her bump. BB-8 arrived as an orange traffic cone. Even Uncle Luke showed up to the party, albeit dressed normally. His robot, R2-D2 though was dressed for the occasion as a cylindrical pumpkin. The apartment was flowing with people and few waiters floating around with small treats and drinks.

“Where’s Rey?” Finn finally questioned an hour into the party. He’d been busy listening to Han and Luke’s stories about Ben and Rey’s high school years when he realized that he hadn’t seen the person who planned the party.

“There she is,” Ben pointed toward the set of stairs.

Rey was being led down the stairs by Ben’s mother, _President_ Leia Organa, as she was dressed as Audrey Hepburn from _Breakfast at Tiffany’s._ Her outfit was reminiscent of her prom dress all those years ago and she wore the pearls she wore that night and the night she won her Oscar.

Leia was funnily dressed as Bob Ross. The fuzzy afro on Leia’s head would’ve been plastered all over the newspapers had this event not been secured as if it were a war meeting. But the focus was on Rey, who ethereally came down the stairs and approached Finn and Poe with hugs.

“Goddammit Poe,” Rey laughed as she gave her old co-star a hug. “You really had to do this?”

“Did you know that I actually auditioned for Jenna, my love?” Poe teased.

“Okay, okay,” Finn, ever the mediator, jokingly got between his boyfriend and his best friend. “You know, Poe isn’t the only one who used you as inspiration for a costume.”

“Oh, I know,” Rey’s eyes narrowed at Ben who feigned innocence. “If he didn’t look so handsome, I’d be angrier.”

“I didn’t have time to plan my costume,” Ben admitted to everyone. “This party had a lot of details.”

“It’s a Halloween party,” Poe said, downing another drink. “How detailed can it be?”

“You’ll see,” Rey told him. She grabbed Ben’s arm and walked away before she could be questioned.

* * *

The clinking of silverware against crystal interrupted the party mumblings in the apartment. It also got several people out of the library where people were admiring the collection that Ben and Rey put together. Soon, everyone was congregated in the open plan area of the living room, dining room, and kitchen area of the apartment.

President Leia Organa got everyone’s attention quickly and all eyes were trained on her. “Good evening everyone,” she said gently. “Thank you all for coming to this little Halloween party and thank you for enduring the security checks and measures before coming here. It’s been a long time since my family has been able to enjoy a holiday like this with no press and no wandering eyes.”

“It’s still just Halloween,” Poe mumbled into Finn’s ear. He was shushed.

“My son and Rey invited you all here for a fun night of costumes, drinks, and food to celebrate Halloween. But they all invited you here under false pretenses.”

Everyone started looking at each other in confusion. It was hardly noticed then that Luke stepped into the room with R2-D2, now wearing a bowtie, following him. Ben followed soon after and stood beside his uncle.

The music that had stopped for Leia’s speech started again. It was soft, melodic, nothing like the Monster Mash that had played earlier.

“Oh my god,” Poe mumbled into his drink as his mind started gathering all the context clues of the situation. “Oh my god, Finn.”

“What?” Finn whispered harshly to Poe. He was still staring at Leia (err, the President) trying to figure out what she was saying.

“This is a wedding,” Poe told him. “This is a wedding. And I’m dressed like a goddamn waitress.”

“What?”

Soon, the soft voice of Elvis Presley came through the speakers.

_Wise men say…_

_Only fools rush in…_

The sound of heels made everyone’s heads turn. Rey was now standing in the hallway going to the bedrooms, a bouquet of daisies in her one hand, and her other arm draped over Han’s.

“Oh. My. God. Dammnit Poe. Now their wedding pictures are going to have us looking like this?”

“How was I supposed to know that their Halloween party was actually going to be their _wedding day?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on a brand new story here: [Love Unsought](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22916884/chapters/54778000)


End file.
